Blog Guy, did you read about those guys who made the highest parachute landing ever at a drop zone near Mount Everest last week?

So they had the danger of diving from four miles up, AND they had to avoid hitting Mount Everest! They must be REALLY macho!

Total weenies, those guys. If they had only checked around, they would have found much more dangerous new combo sports. Just to name a few:

• Jumping over Everest from four miles up while playing Russian roulette
• Jumping over Everest from four miles up in a jumpsuit full of cobras
• Jumping over Everest from four miles up with a three-mile bungee cord attached to the airplane
• Jumping over Everest from four miles up while listening to Barry Manilow on your iPod

Wow! Do you need a special parachute for those combo sports?

Who said anything about a parachute?

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Ramesh Chandra Tripathi, one of three team members, prepares to land at Gorakshep near the Mount Everest area, September 22, 2009. REUTERS/ Handout

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Blog Guy, I saw a Reuters shot of this guy doing a Superman leap in diving competition in Switzerland this weekend, and he looked a lot like you. I guess we shouldn’t expect a new blog post tomorrow?

Several readers asked this. First off, if you’ve read my various posts about heights, you know that I oppose doing anything from an altitude, especially jumping from it.

Now, this guy is diving from a 26-meter platform, which is about 85 feet. Since that’s higher than six inches off the ground, that wouldn’t be me in the photo.

If for some reason it WAS me, I wouldn’t be posing like Superman. I’d look like a cartoon character with eyes bulging two feet out of my head, squealing like a castrato.

Lastly, unlike most blogs and liquor stores, I’m always open. There’s new stuff every day, including Labor Day. So come on back for a visit and bring your friends.

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Michal Navratil of the Czech Republic does the Superman dive from the 26 meter platform during round seven of the Red Bull Cliff Diving series in Sisikon, Switzerland September 5, 2009. REUTERS/Romina Amato

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Many readers write in to ask, “Bob, where are you going on vacation this year, because we want to make sure we don’t run into you?”

My advice is, visit The Ledge, opening today at the Sears Tower in Chicago. If you’re out on The Ledge and some other guy is there, he won’t be me.

What are people thinking, going out on a clear thingy that lets them look 103 floors straight down?

Do you know how many of these things fall off the sides of buildings carrying visitors to their death every year? I don’t actually know the answer, but I just assume it’s a lot of them.

I also assume they made this thing from cheap coffee table glass, and stuck it on the side of the Sears Tower with Elmer’s Glue, because that’s how I would do it.

But don’t just listen to me. There are plenty of really important Chicago people, like Oprah Winfrey and sometimes Barack Obama and that Bob Newhart psychologist guy. When you see one of THEM out on this contraption, you let me know.

The Ledge slideshow

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Children on “The Ledge” look down through a glass floor 1,353 feet above Wacker Drive in Chicago, July 1, 2009. The Ledge is part of Skydeck Chicago located on the 103rd floor of the Sears Tower. REUTERS photos by Frank Polich

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Welcome back to our popular feature, Stuff Maybe we Should Have Mentioned in the Caption, but Didn’t.

Now, the actual photo caption we put on these pictures tells us a man dressed as a friar is jumping off a 33-foot cliff at a restaurant in Peru, as a tourist attraction.

Huh? He’s doing what? In fairness, our caption also says the restaurant’s name is “The Jump of the Friar,” so either this is quite an amazing coincidence, or else the guy works for the place.

I suppose he’s just happy they didn’t decide to name it “The Beheading of the Friar” or the “Colonoscopy of the Friar” or something like that.

But anyway, here’s my point. You recent college graduates with difficult-to-market skills should pay attention. One of these days this guy won’t come out of the water, which is your opportunity to be the star attraction at Peru’s newest cliff-side eatery, “The Jump of the Creative Writing Major.” Hey, it’s a job.

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A man dressed as a friar jumps from a ten meter (33 feet) cliff at “The Jump of the Friar,” a local restaurant, as a tourist attraction in Lima, May 28, 2009. REUTERS/ Pilar Olivares

Blog Guy, can you tell me some stuff about high wire?

You mean the 50th state, home to President Obama?

That is the worst pun I’ve ever read. I’m talking HIGH WIRE, like in the circus.

Well, I know that just PLAIN tightrope walking is for sissy weenies these days. These photos show guys competing in a high wire SPEED RACE.

Awesome! So that high wire speed racing is the new macho thing?

It is if you don’t think you can cut it in the MAIN event, Speed Racing Blindfolded on a Flaming Gas-Soaked Tightrope in a Lightning Storm Amid 2,500 Dive-Bombing Rabid Bats.

I see. Hey, what’s that thing left behind on the wire by the guy who dropped his bar?

I’m not sure. It could be some kind of adult diaper.

That’s what I was afraid of.

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Alfred Nock Jr. of Switzerland helps Ya Kefujiang Maimitili of China after Ya dropped his bar in the speed race of the 2009 Hangang High Wire World Championship in Seoul, May 10, 2009. REUTERS photos by Jo Yong-Hak

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About 400,000 people die exploring caves each year. This is a very rough estimate off the top of my head, but you get the idea.

To shed some light on this hazardous hobby, we covered an international competition on the subject.

What we saw amazed us. That picture down below on the left shows a caver building a tower with beer crates. I can tell them right away, if they’ve emptied that many crates of beer they have no business climbing that high.

Now look at the photo below on the right. Did I call that one right, or not?

Apart from that, I would point out that every cave I’ve ever been in has been below ground, or at least ground level, so what they’re doing stacking beer crates and calling it a cave is way beyond me.

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Above:international competition among speleologists in Raubichi, east of Minsk, Belarus, April 4, 2009. The competition is held every year to practice skills needed when exploring caves.

Below left: Cave explorer, secured by a rope, builds a tower with beer crates.

Below right: Cave explorer, secured by a rope, falls off the tower of beer crates.

REUTERS photos by Vasily Fedosenko

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Quick quiz: If you have to parachute, the best thing to avoid having below you would be…

a) a giant vat of fresh horse manure

b) two million rotten eggs

c) the word’s biggest trampoline

d) a bunch of choppers sharing your airspace

Yeah, I agree, my answer would have to be the helicopter one.

The actual photo caption here says these guys are jumping FROM choppers, but it sure looks to me like a high-stakes game of chicken that could go south pretty fast.

“Oh, go a head and jump, you big babies! Those choppers will be out of the way by the time you get down there, I’m pretty sure…”

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Sri Lankan paratroopers jump from military helicopters after basic parachute training at an air base in Katunayake, February 10, 2009. REUTERS/ Stringer

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I’m getting e-mails from recent grads asking for career advice. They should start with my previous posts, but I do have some new tips, as well.

These photos illustrate some common mistakes made by grads who jump at the first job.

Please remember two of Bob’s career rules:

1. A good job will not involve anything squirting out of your eyes except maybe a contact lens. Certainly not milk, as seen here. Milk is meant to squirt out your nose, when you see something funny.

2. A good job will not generally involve a pole with sharp blades attached. Think of it this way: If there is some chance that your fingers will reach the ground before the rest of you, avoid the job. Unless you majored in Film Studies.

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A performer squirts milk through his eyes during a performance to celebrate Chinese New Year in Beijing, January 29, 2009. REUTERS/ Christina Hu

An acrobat hangs from a pole with blades during a performance to celebrate Chinese New Year at an amusement park in Beijing, January 28, 2009. REUTERS/ Reinhard Krause

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Hey, Blog Guy! We’re five days into 2009 and you haven’t mentioned any signs of the coming Apocalypse. Does that mean we’re safe?

No, it just means I’m backed up. Here’s a clip of Motorcross rider Robbie Maddison ringing in the New Year with a spectacular jump in Las Vegas.

He catapulted off a ramp to the top of a 100-foot replica of the Arc de Triomph, and then he jumped off the replica, plunging 85 feet in a free-fall before landing on a ramp.

If you’re like I am about heights, this video will make you barf on your keyboard.

Ah, and you think the fact that somebody would do that jump is a genuine sign of the Apocalypse?

Are you crazy? No! I think just BUILDING a 100-foot replica of the Arc de Triomph in Las Vegas is a clear enough sign!

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Hey, Blog Guy, you give the very best career advice. I especially value your tips on how to know if we’ve made a bad career choice.

Thank you. Here’s something that always works. I call it the triple reality check:

If you’re at work right now, first look down. Do you see the ground hundreds of feet below you? Then look at  your hands. Are you clinging for dear life to a swaying fishnet? Next, look up. Is there a hovering chopper?

If you answered yes to these questions, I recommend you get your guidance counselor’s home address and give it to the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

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Members of the special warfare command climb a net attached to an army helicopter during the 60th anniversary of the Armed Forces Day at Jamsil Sports Complex in Seoul October 1, 2008.  REUTERS/Jo Yong-Hak

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