Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

So that’s basic cable, huh?

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Lamar, we are very eager to see the new cable car system you’ve designed for our highest mountain, nearly 10,000 feet. May we take off the blindfolds now?

Absolutely. If you look through your binoculars toward Zugspitze, you’ll see the sleek, shiny cable cars of…

Excuse me, Lamar, it doesn’t look like there’s anyone inside that cable car. My GOD, there are people on TOP of it!

That’s right. That way, there’s a much better view and they can breathe in the mountain air.

You’re kidding me, right? Right?

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Blog Guy, everybody knows you give the best travel advice. I’m out of my mind, like totally nuts, and I’m looking for a good vacation spot.

Have you been to that viewing platform I wrote about in the Bavarian Alps?

Of course. Opening day.

How about The Ledge at the Sears Tower in Chicago?

Been there.

That walkway over the Grand Canyon?

Done it four times.

Jeez. Hmmm. Are you willing to go to Canada?

Sure! I did mention that I’m nuts, right?

Then you should try this new tourist attraction at the CN Tower in Toronto, where you can traipse around an open-mesh metal walkway almost a quarter of a mile above the ground. There’s no guard rail.

Hardware store? Send more wingnuts!

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I recently graduated from college, and Mom gave me a brochure called “The Exciting World of Wing Walking.” I was wondering if I should pursue this?

I guess everybody goes through that phase, including me… We all want to be like Ormer Locklear, the first great daredevil wing walker. THERE was a barnstormer!

One small step for man…aaaahhhhhh!!!

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Blog Guy, you strike me as a guy who would like practical jokes.

SWITZERLAND/No way. Too many of those things are cruel, sick, mean-spirited and make me cringe.

Oh come on, I can tell from the humor in your blog, you’ve contemplated some pretty funny tricks on your fellow man, even if you never went through with them.

It Alps if you don’t look down…

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GERMANY/

Blog Guy, you used to offer a valuable travel service by writing about places to stay away from. For the past three summers my family has taken your advice and crossed dozens of destinations off our list, but now we’re at a loss as to where not to go.

I’m sorry, reader. I hope it’s not too late for you to stay at home again this summer, because they’re about to open another “Are You Fricking Kidding Me?” tourist attraction over in Germany.

That’s my tongue trailing 40 feet behind me?

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Boy, am I pissed!

According to a Reuters story, some guy is going to step out of a capsule lifted 120,000 feet by a balloon and leap to Earth, becoming the first man to break the sound barrier without an aircraft.

Why the heck didn’t I think of that?

jumper combo 490

So now THIS guy gets to have the fun of plummeting so fast he won’t be able to hear himself scream, because his own shriek will just follow along behind him.

What’s that big thing near the drop zone?

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Blog Guy, did you read about those guys who made the highest parachute landing ever at a drop zone near Mount Everest last week?

So they had the danger of diving from four miles up, AND they had to avoid hitting Mount Everest! They must be REALLY macho!

Look, up in the sky! A blogger who works holidays!

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Blog Guy, I saw a Reuters shot of this guy doing a Superman leap in diving competition in Switzerland this weekend, and he looked a lot like you. I guess we shouldn’t expect a new blog post tomorrow?

Several readers asked this. First off, if you’ve read my various posts about heights, you know that I oppose doing anything from an altitude, especially jumping from it.

Don’t wait for me out on The Ledge

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Many readers write in to ask, “Bob, where are you going on vacation this year, because we want to make sure we don’t run into you?”

My advice is, visit The Ledge, opening today at the Sears Tower in Chicago. If you’re out on The Ledge and some other guy is there, he won’t be me.

Friar takes a flier?

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Welcome back to our popular feature, Stuff Maybe we Should Have Mentioned in the Caption, but Didn’t.************Now, the actual photo caption we put on these pictures tells us a man dressed as a friar is jumping off a 33-foot cliff at a restaurant in Peru, as a tourist attraction.******Huh? He’s doing what? In fairness, our caption also says the restaurant’s name is “The Jump of the Friar,” so either this is quite an amazing coincidence, or else the guy works for the place.******I suppose he’s just happy they didn’t decide to name it “The Beheading of the Friar” or the “Colonoscopy of the Friar” or something like that.******But anyway, here’s my point. You recent college graduates with difficult-to-market skills should pay attention. One of these days this guy won’t come out of the water, which is your opportunity to be the star attraction at Peru’s newest cliff-side eatery, “The Jump of the Creative Writing Major.” Hey, it’s a job.***

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

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************A man dressed as a friar jumps from a ten meter (33 feet) cliff at “The Jump of the Friar,” a local restaurant, as a tourist attraction in Lima, May 28, 2009. REUTERS/ Pilar Olivares