Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
We take a volunteer up in a helicopter, see, and drop him out. The crowd goes nuts! Then, at the last possible second, a motorcycle zooms out of nowhere and tries to catch him!
Huh? Success rate? Are you stupid? That’s a real tough trick! We’ve never actually caught him, but we’ve come pretty danged close a couple of times. This could be our lucky day!
Okay, maybe not exactly four whole miles, but still pretty high up. I believe a 1960s rock group said it most eloquently: “Kicks just keep getting harder to find.”
You bet. Berlin is looking at so-called “momentum parking.” You leave your car, and a huge crane hoists it up 500 feet, then lets it go. The impact buries it several feet down, thus taking up far less room than an ordinary space.
About 400 people were trapped for more than an hour yesterday by a “mechanical fault” on that huge Ferris wheel, The London Eye. Our story says staffers were in touch with the victims, who were stuck as high as 450 feet in the air, via intercoms.
The stalled passengers were offered water, blankets and glucose tablets.
That’s good to know. Given my attitude toward heights, if that ever happens to me they can cover me with the blanket and pound me with water bottles until I stop screaming. Some fully charged tasers, a portable toilet and a parachute might also come in handy.
That means if you ride it, at some point your cheeks will be flapping like Dumbo’s ears, and your eyes will be so far back in your skull you can scan your own brain.
“Dagnabbit! Looks like the engine’s stalled! We’re stuck here awhile.” Quick quiz: the place you least want to hear that sentence is…
a commuter train
a roller coaster, just as you’re at the top of a huge loop
Yeah, roller coaster has to be the answer. Some poor folks got stuck like that with their legs in the air for 30 minutes on New Year’s Eve. They were treated at a hospital for “dizziness,” which I think is a euphemism meaning plastic surgeons had to sandblast a look of pure horror off their insanely frozen faces.
Sorry, my travel blogging involves advising folks where NOT to go. It is hard to make a buck in the fast-paced travel game by telling folks to stay home, so I wouldn’t do very well.
As the song says, kicks just keep getting harder to find. The amusement park industry is having its big convention, and the hot new thrill seems to be dining 165 feet above the ground, at a table suspended by a crane.
Yeah, that’s pretty much what I wondered, too. Who cares? It’s not like you can’t go to the Rainbow Room if you want to dine high up. Heck, you could even sneak a sausage pizza aboard a gyrocopter. It doesn’t take Isaac Newton to guess what’s going to happen when you eat raw oysters and some linguini, washed down by a few beers, and then sit there swinging back and forth, back and forth…
Okay, these folks are playing EXTREME poker, hanging over a cliff, which means their regular poker face is tinged with green and you don’t know if they’re going to bluff or barf.
Boring. I’m waiting for EXTREMELY Extreme Poker. People, next week’s game will dangle over a shark pool, and the cable will be cut halfway through. Some of the cards will be glazed with anthrax, and hungry wolverines will leap at you from the cliff.