Oddly Enough Blog

Hang on, this isn’t Yangon?

Blog Guy, I read that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is visiting Myanmar. That’s amazing! Have you been there?

Not to Myanmar, but I was there when they called it Burma.

Oh. Were you in Yangon?

Yes, but they called it Rangoon then.

But it’s the same city, right, the capital?

Rangoon was the capital when I was there, but now the capital is Naypyitaw.

Do we get a snack on this flight, or what?

Quick quiz: You realize your job may sort of suck if you…

a) find yourself on a flight from Malta to Tripoli

b) notice the card by your seat describes you only as the “Senior Leader-in-Transit”

c) are trying to read your PDA with your sunglasses on

d) are trying to study a briefing book and can’t recall if your eyes are open or shut

e) don’t even care when the beverage cart goes by

Is everybody happy? Louder!

Blog Guy, I know you keep up with the various charities of the power elite. Somebody told me about a youth program Secretary of State Hillary Clinton supports, and I don’t think they got it quite right.

I imagine you’re talking about Sullen Young Ballplayers.

Yeah, that was the name of it alright. Tell me about it.

Not much to tell. Once a week her staff brings her a bunch of unhappy young people who would rather be somewhere else, and forces them to meet with her.

Clinton tries to cheer them up by telling rousing baseball anecdotes. It never works.

And all these kids are unhappy?

I guess it must be Sunday again?

Lamar, come to my office for a minute.

Yeah Boss?

What’s this big stack of goofy photos I found in the wastebasket?

That’s just overflow, Boss. You know, we bought ‘em for the blog but then the writers couldn’t come up with anything clever.

So it’s the fault of the writers?

Of course, Boss. Isn’t everything?

Up high, down low, too slow…

Blog Guy, have you ever thought of running for national office? I mean, you live in DC anyway, so it’s not like you’d have to move very far.

Thanks for asking, but I just couldn’t handle that much compromise.

Ah, I hear you. You mean the hypocrisy, the back-room deals, the corruption?

Nah, I mean all the high-fives. I can stand that other stuff, but I will not high five, even if it means my political career.

Look at this top photo, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton high-fiving Turkey’s foreign minister. What is she thinking?

As you can see, both Democrats and Republicans do it here, all the time.

YEAH! IT’S ME! I’M IN THE QUIET CAR!

Blog Guy, I know you’re a Washington insider. Can you tell me what, more than anything else, President Obama respects in other people?

I mean, is it honesty, loyalty, intelligence, empathy, the ability to communicate?

Obama likes people who look cool in sunglasses.

Really? That’s it?

Yeah. After all, he carries it off pretty well himself, and he doesn’t think he should have to bother with losers who don’t.

I want to propose a….yikes!

Blog Guy, I have a question about politicians and alcohol. It seems like officials in other countries have a lot more freedom to drink than ours in the U.S. do.

Yes, it’s just an odd fact of life. Citizens elsewhere seem to be more comfortable seeing their leaders drink.

You take Germany. Above, there’s Chancellor Angela Merkel drinking wine, and the German  Agriculture Minister not only drinking beer, but seeming to enjoy it.

By contrast, look at this photo on the right, of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton just holding a glass of wine at a state dinner.

As a typical American, let’s see how  you react.

WHOA! That’s just WRONG!

“I thought I’d die laughing!”

Quick quiz: These photos show President Barack Obama, former President Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton laughing their butts off at…

a) Former President George W. Bush doing a dramatic live reading from his new book, “Decision Points”

b) The Ricky Gervais monologue at the Golden Globes

c) A performance of “Shear Madness,” the zany comedy which has been running for more than 20 years in Washington.

d) A funeral service for Ambassador Richard Holbrooke.

Yeah, this one tricked me, too. Turns out, it WAS the Holbrooke funeral service!

Have you had the meatloaf here, Hillary?

Blog Guy, I read that President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton went to a NATO summit in Portugal. What the heck do they do at a thing like that?

The first item of business at those major international summits is to put in their lunch order.

Lunch order? That’s what they’re doing? They look confused.

Sure. Some of these lunch menus, it’s hard to tell whether any side dishes come with the entree, or if a beverage is included, or what the local word for ketchup is. And if you get the combo platter does that include your dessert, and if so is it a good one, like pie, or just some bogus foreign dessert, like flan?

Plus, is the tip included, or is this one of those countries where nobody expects a tip, and so on and so forth…

Gosh, in that one picture it looks like Barack Obama and David Cameron are both trying to sneak a look at Clinton’s lunch order.

THAT’S my security guy?

Quick quiz: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is seen here in New Zealand…

a) Watching a local baseball game.

b) Thinking maybe she should have gone to a better college.

c) Wondering, “Why can’t they do anything about the streakers down here?”

d) Praying this guy doesn’t turn out to be, you know, the prime minister or whatever.

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