Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Hey, Buddy! You on the other end of the walkie-talkie! So this is your first time setting up an overseas event for Secretary Clinton? I’m sure it’ll go fine. What’s your name?
I’m Lamar… This is a VERY bad connection, but we’ll make it work. Right now, Secretary Clinton and a local businessman are having their “Who can open their mouth the widest?” competition, you copy?
Copy that. Seems a strange activity, but you’re the boss, Lamar. Look at that mouth! She beat him good!
Okay, now Secretary Clinton is moving over to say a few words right in front of the giant turbo super-suction fanjet engine.
Blog Guy, as a Washington DC insider you’re an expert on high-level diplomacy. I hear countries have little ways of showing degrees of displeasure through diplomatic contact. Is that true?
Of course. Our own Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is a gold medal pro at this tactic. Here she is talking with the President of Turkey, while putting on lipstick. Does it look like she gives a crap what he’s saying?
Blog Guy, we’re all aware that there is tough competition among contenders for the summer exhibition at your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop there in Washington. A few days ago you published the all-time goofiest Michelle Obama photo, which seems impossible to beat. Has Hillary Clinton just given up on winning the contest?
Far from it. Clinton has hired world-famous goofy face coach Hamid Karzai and is working long hours with him to perfect her best faces.
Blog Guy, you haven’t written much about your beloved Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop lately. You got anything new to unveil for the summer tourist season?
Hey, thanks for asking. We’re in an odd situation this summer. We can only open one new exhibit, and both first lady Michelle Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton want to be the subject.
Blog Guy, I see the foreign ministers from the G8 nations just met up in Canada. I guess with the world situation, they had lots to talk about, right?
Probably, but they didn’t get a chance to communicate much.
No? Why not?
Because their Canadian hosts served taffy. Maple taffy. After a few bites their teeth were gooey and sticking shut, and they could barely mumble.
“Funny story, Hillary. Yesterday I found a secret stash in one of the White House cabinets that they said hadn’t been used since you and Bill lived there….
“I mean, this was some twisted stuff! I’m talking about a 1.75 liter bottle of creme de menthe, an old VHS set of the entire “Yogi Bear” cartoon series, an ‘I’M WITH STUPID’ t-shirt, a case of Hostess Twinkies…”
Blog Guy, you used to have a regular feature called “Those Wacky Foreign Secretaries!” Remember? You’d show how really goofy the world’s foreign secretaries really are, despite having such a serious job. Can you please bring that back?
Sure. Here we have U.S. Secretary of state Hillary Clinton losing her shoe climbing steps, while some French guy does nothing but watch…