Welcome back to our popular feature, Stuff Maybe we Should Have Mentioned in the Caption, but Didn’t.

The real actual caption on this photo on the right tells us “A man dances with his rifle on his head” during a festival.

Well, yeah, I can see that, and I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong, but it still makes me wonder. Because where I grew up, dancing with a rifle on your head definitely went on your permanent high school record.

There’s more. Another caption, below, tells us a dancer is shooting his rifle during the festival.

This appears to be a religious festival, and since I live in a country that has very recently debated taking guns into church services I guess this is a sensitive subject, but… Maybe Morocco could spring for some NRA gun safety courses before next year’s festival? It’s just a thought.

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A man dances with his rifle on his head during the festival of Moulay Abdessalam saint near Tetouan July 1, 2009. Thousands of pilgrims from all over Morocco attend the  pilgrimage to the saint’s tomb.

A dancer shoots his rifle during the festival.

REUTERS photos by Rafael Marchante

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Happy July 4th, Blog Guy. I just saw an Abe Lincoln statue made of cheese. Isn’t that disrespectful?

No. If you know your history, you know Lincoln was a passionate cheese enthusiast.

It was Abe who pushed the bounds of home entertaining by rolling up cheese and pecans together, creating the popular cheese log.

HE did that?

Sure. He called them Lincoln Logs.  He also pioneered new forms of smelly Limburger Cheese, making his own pungent recipe.

Uh-oh. What was that called?

What do you think? “Stinkin’ Lincoln.”

Apart from the “Gettysburg Address,” Lincoln’s most famous speech was his 1863 “Homage to Fromage.” And, his 1864 presidential campaign slogan was ”He’s not just gouda, he’s grate!”

You’re right, I do recall something about that. What was that phrase he used to predict the mass popularity of cheese?

He called it a “feta compli.”

Gosh Blog Guy, you seem to know quite a few cheese-related puns.

Well, I don’t like to boast, but they do call me the “Münster Punster.”

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Cheez-It commissioned 700-pound life-size cheddar cheese carving of Abraham Lincoln, on display near the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, July 3, 2009. REUTERS/Ray Stubblebine/Cheez-It/Handout

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Blog Guy, how can I get Reuters to take my picture? I imagine I’d have to do something VERY newsworthy.

Not really. All you have to do is put on silly outfits and go from city to city like that butthead British actor whose name I’m not going to mention. We’ll take your picture everywhere you go and put out 46 pictures in two weeks, and it probably isn’t over yet.

I had no idea it was that easy! Hey, I recognize that guy - doesn’t he have a new movie out?

I wouldn’t know about that.

So wait a minute. You’re saying every time he goes to a new place, to promote the very same thing over and over, you cover it like news? But surely at some point some editor says, “Sorry, we’ve already shot that dude in London and Madrid and Berlin and Amsterdam, and that’s enough.”

You don’t get around much, do you, slick?

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Above: British actor Sacha Baron Cohen (C), dressed as a bull, poses during the Spanish premiere of his new movie, outside Madrid’s Las Ventas bull ring, June 18, 2009. REUTERS/Juan Medina

Right: REUTERS photos of Cohen in assorted other places.

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Many readers write in to ask, “Bob, where are you going on vacation this year, because we want to make sure we don’t run into you?”

My advice is, visit The Ledge, opening today at the Sears Tower in Chicago. If you’re out on The Ledge and some other guy is there, he won’t be me.

What are people thinking, going out on a clear thingy that lets them look 103 floors straight down?

Do you know how many of these things fall off the sides of buildings carrying visitors to their death every year? I don’t actually know the answer, but I just assume it’s a lot of them.

I also assume they made this thing from cheap coffee table glass, and stuck it on the side of the Sears Tower with Elmer’s Glue, because that’s how I would do it.

But don’t just listen to me. There are plenty of really important Chicago people, like Oprah Winfrey and sometimes Barack Obama and that Bob Newhart psychologist guy. When you see one of THEM out on this contraption, you let me know.

The Ledge slideshow

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Children on “The Ledge” look down through a glass floor 1,353 feet above Wacker Drive in Chicago, July 1, 2009. The Ledge is part of Skydeck Chicago located on the 103rd floor of the Sears Tower. REUTERS photos by Frank Polich

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This blog’s top five most popular posts for June reflected the well- rounded interests of my readers.

They clearly are absorbed by space, flocking to a post about chicks from other planets. Also the presidency - Obama eating a candy bar - and the legal system, in the form of the Phil Spector trial.

On top of that, they were fascinated by media coverage of a potential air mishap, and a post that combined travel, exercise and the arts.

It’s a wonder they don’t give college credit for reading this thing!

Here are the top five:

5. Hamana-hamana-hamana…

4. Just drive in circles while I finish my candy bar!

3. Stand up Mr. Spector. Oh, Sorry!

2. The real, actual, genuine arrival sign!

And the number one most popular post for June:

1. It don’t get no stupider than this!

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Above: Model presents the latest collection by Larisa Katz of the Netherlands during Bahrain Fashion Week in Manama, May 30, 2009. REUTERS/Hamad I Mohammed

Right: President Barack Obama eats a snack in his limousine as he arrives in Dresden June 4, 2009. REUTERS/ Fabrizio Bensch

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Blog Guy, are you able to answer questions about the election process in emerging democracies in other parts of the world?

Sure. My resources are endless.

Whenever there is an election these days, I see news photos of voters holding up ink-stained  fingers, I guess to keep them from casting more than one ballot.

Yes. Photographers now have a quota of ink-stained finger shots on voting day. As iconic photos go, this one has replaced the victory sign and the thumbs-up.

Looks like it makes the photographer’s job pretty easy.

Not really. You do have to make sure they’re not holding up the wrong finger in an obscene gesture. But didn’t you have a serious question?

Right. If blue ink is the way they keep elections honest, I’m worried about how the Smurfs will vote, since they’re blue to begin with.

They can’t vote. But Papa Smurf runs Smurf Village with an iron grip, and they are decades away from an election process.

But couldn’t Inventor Smurf come up with a different color ink that would…

Just let it go.

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Above: Presidental candidate Mir Hossein Mousavi holds his inked stained finger and identity card after casting his vote during the Iranian presidential election, June 12, 2009. REUTERS/Raheb Homavandi

Left: Assorted ink-stained voters, and Papa Smurf

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Blog Guy, you don’t know me… You never saw me, we never had this conversation. I know you help people with certain fashion needs find appropriate attire. I represent the 42 million people in the Witness Protection Program. When you’re disguised all the time, it’s not easy to look chic.

Wait a minute. There are 42 million of us?

Us? You’re in the program?  Hey, clever disguise, doing a blog that anybody in the world can read. Then you know we have parties, cruises, WPP discounts… So is anybody creating fashions for us?

You bet. Check out this stuff from a new collection unveiled in Paris a couple of days ago. It’s perfect! I bought six new outfits.

Fantastic! I’ll spread it around in our monthly newsletter! Hey, wait a minute, Blog Guy. I think I know you! Were you the dude who came with us on that trip to Belgium, and called yourself  Smitty? I remember that time you….

Shut UP! Thanks a lot. Now I have to start all over again.

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Models present creations by Israeli-American designer Alber Elbaz and Lucas Ossendrijver of the Netherlands for fashion house Lanvin as part of his men’s Spring-Summer 2010 fashion collection in Paris June 28, 2009.

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“Versace and Gucci…started their shows with men dressed in white or pale creams. Versace also showed comfort with unbuttoned tunics and safari-like jackets…”
– Reuters story from Milan Fashion Week

Blog Guy, I know you write a lot about haute couture. Where do the big designers get ideas for their creations?

I hate to boast, but sometimes they get them from me. For instance, here’s me with Donatella Versace at a recent dinner. She complimented me on my rented tuxedo and said, “Bob, what kind of crapola should I sell next season?”

“Donna,” I replied,  “you can’t go wrong with whites and pale creams, unbuttoned tunics and safari jackets.”

Then, as you can see here, she smiled that radiant smile of hers and said, “Bob, you’re a genius! Why didn’t I think of that my own self?”

The rest is history, if you read the coverage of Milan Fashion Week.

Blog Guy, is even one PATHETIC word of that story true?

Not really, no. I did tell her to go with elastic waistbands because lots of guys are putting on weight and can’t buckle their belts anymore, but she didn’t listen to me.

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Above: photo by Maggie Fox

Left: Models present creations as part of the Versace Spring/ Summer 2010 men’s collection during Milan Fashion Week June 21, 2009. REUTERS/ Alessandro Garofalo

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I’ve blogged before about Saint Death, this grinning skeletal figure who isn’t recognized by the Catholic Church, but is revered by drug traffickers and other criminal scumbags.

I get a kick out of this guy, because I don’t begin to see how he fits in with regular theology. I noticed this photo when soldiers in Mexico seized a house used for storing marijuana and a lab producing cocaine. According to the caption this is an “altar to venerate Saint Death.”

Looking at the AR-15 rifle leaning against the thing, I’m thinking they meant “ventilate” instead of venerate.

Anyway, note the statues of the saint and the large work of art. The caption doesn’t say, but I’m hoping and praying the artwork is made of velvet. It just seems right.

To get scholarly for a moment, the blown up section shows Death is smoking a joint, something you rarely see in religious art apart from Saint Jerry Garcia. He is also waving a scythe, similar to the one Saint Happy New Year! carries.

Finally, in big gold lettering on the frame we see SANTA MUERTE, which I believe translates to “Maybe we should have chosen another frickin’ career.”

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An AR-15 rifle is seen at the base of an altar to venerate Saint Death, inside a house seized by the army during an operation in Monterrey, northern Mexico June 23, 2009. The army seized a house used for storing marijuana and a lab producing cocaine during an operation early Tuesday. One man was detained and three more escaped, according to local media. REUTERS/Tomas Bravo

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Quick quiz: Where would be a really stupid place to sell booze?

a) churches

b) kindergartens

c) hospitals

d) gas stations

Okay, they’re all pretty stupid, but I guess I’m going to say gas stations, because you really can buy liquor there in Lithuania. I’m not making this up.

But in a clear example of jack-booted repression, on January 1 it became illegal for gas stations to sell liquor at night.

I mean, what could go wrong with a carload of yokels pulling off the highway, filling their tank, buying a couple of handles of vodka and roaring off into the darkness?

To answer an obvious question, police data show that alcohol-related accidents have dropped by 45 percent since the ban was imposed. Nevertheless, an oil and gas company is fighting the ban, saying it may force them to start closing their stations at night and laying off workers.

Well boo-hoo! My own personal opinion is that they should continue the ban at gas stations, and just sell their booze at highway toll booths, instead.

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Above: Women play in mud during international music festival “Be2gether” in Lithuania, June 13, 2009. REUTERS/Vasily Fedosenko

Left: A man flashes a victory sign as more than 150 truck and bus drivers take part in a protest against the rising price of fuel in Vilnius, Lithuania, in 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Ints Kalnins

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