Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I know you cover all the big fashion shows, and my sister-in-law’s ventriloquist told me there were some HUGE celebs at Lisbon Fashion Week this year. Can you give us some names?
Wait a minute, Blog Guy. You’ve put one of those rectangular censorship bars over her face, so I’m not quite sure who that is.
No, that’s not my style. My readers know that I always use the salmon-colored censorship bars, as you can see here on the right. I’m afraid that black bar is an actual accessory.
Welcome back to a regular feature we call, “What Year is it Again?” in which we relate true events that make us question whether we’ve gone back in time for decades, maybe even centuries.
Blog Guy, it’s me, the guy you got hooked on photos of that duchess…
I need fresh pictures, but the last time I asked, you gave me a duchess made of butter and a chick with gross fingernails. So this time, I’ll be clearer.
No names, please.
Okay, um, she’s a duchess, she got married recently and she’s a member of a royal family… Is that enough for you to go on?
Lamar, we’ve got another expensive fashion show to put on today, and our label is in the toilet. Have you found any more ways to save money? We just can’t afford a first class runway production.
Bless you, Lamar! How did you do it this time?
By not renting backstage dressing rooms for the models. You can’t imagine how much that saves!
Blog Guy, I’m looking for a new career and I know your advice is the best. I picked up a colorful brochure called, “The Exciting World of Battlefield Rocket Repair,” and I was wondering if you think that’s a good way to go?
Blog Guy, I have a complaint.
Like many of your readers, I mostly come here for news about fashion on the planet Neptune, but you haven’t had any since last February. Back then, you said fashion photos from the Hubble Telescope showed krunkwads were getting longer for the next season.
Now, what news on the Rialto?
Wait a minute, Ace. That Rialto thing is just a line from “The Merchant of Venice.”
Blog Guy, I need some advice on home entertaining, and I know you’re an expert. Can you help me with some nagging problems?
Well, we have some friends coming to dinner soon, but it falls on the same day of the month that I wash my hair! I can’t figure a way out of this one.
Blog Guy, have you seen that amazing new book about former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy, the one taken from hours of taped interviews with her just months after her husband was assassinated?
Excuse me? Are we talking about the same book?
Sure. I’m not even finished with it, and already I’m struck by her vivid chowder memories of Jack Kennedy:
“Jeez, Joe, what are you doing with those aviator shades? You think you’re Tom Cruise, or what? Take those things off!”
“Good Lord, Joe. Look, I’m covering my face with a hanky, so folks can’t see me laughing!”
Okay, this story is so disturbing I’m not sure where to begin.
A city in Turkey has equipped the local morgue with the latest gadgetry in case any of the bodies stored there have been declared dead by mistake.
It seems alarms and motion detectors in the mortuary will detect the slightest movement if one of the bodies emerges from a coma or unconsciousness.