Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Good news, guys, we’re gettin’ uniforms!

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Okay staff, I’ve called this meeting because it’s come to my attention that the men here are dressing like slobs. You women are fine, it’s just the guys. Am I right, Lamar?

You sure are, Boss! As usual!

I mean, I’m not sure what we do here, but I do know if a client ever shows up, we need to look good. So I sent Lamar to Fashion Week in Istanbul to buy clothes for all the men. Let’s see what you brought back, Lamar…

Sure. Feast your eyes on these duds! This little item on the right features comfortable short pants, a bow tie, a short jacket and multicolored wingtips! Huh? Huh?

Cripes, what’s the name of this fashion collection, Lamar?

They call it Circumcision, Boss.

Circumcision, huh? Yeah, that sounds about right. I asked you to bring TWO choices, Lamar.  Boys, raise your hands if you want to go with Plan B.

I think they all come from Cooperstown

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Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my handyman’s numismatist?

Oh please! More random bets between unlikely random professions? What does this coin collector say?

Well, I saw that CNN journalist Anderson Cooper speaking in Orlando on Tuesday evening, but my handyman’s numismatist claims he saw Cooper on the same evening, speaking in Boise. Which one of us is right?

Nobody booed, and the players were nude?

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Okay, Blog Guy, it’s been two weeks since you wrote about any stupid sports. You must have something by now.

I sure do. Let’s turn our attention to rugby.

Hey, rugby may be foreign, but it’s not stupid!

It is when you play it naked, like the Nude Blacks of New Zealand.

Naked rugby! Who do they play against?

Last weekend they played a female Spanish team. The women wore clothes, as you can see here, and they played before a crowd of 1,500 people.

Coming soon, the Sound of Stupid…

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Blog Guy, I just heard about an exciting project involving your blog. Can you confirm it?

Yes, the last two years of my blog postings are being released as Blogs on Tape, so folks can listen to them in the car, on dates, during court arraignments, whenever.

I Hope You’re Proud Of Yourself!

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Hey Blog Guy, it’s September 14th. This is the day you announce the coveted annual I Hope You’re Proud Of Yourself! award.

Yes, I’m sorry for the delay. I was all set to give this year’s trophy to the folks at that Tea Party presidential debate on Monday.

How I spent my macho vacation…

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I’m a fairly dimwitted guy who never really grew up. Life hasn’t gone my way, and I need an experience to make me feel like I’m somebody.

So you’re looking for something you can brag about on Facebook, no matter how shallow it is, to keep your pathetic imitation of life going for another year?

It’s even more magical than I remembered!

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Sure, Doctor, I had a great childhood! I did all the usual stuff. Why do you ask?

It’s just a routine question we ask in therapy, Blog Guy. What is your very best memory of your early childhood back in Indianapolis?

Class, get out your rulers…

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Blog Guy, I’ve heard that the British Royal Family isn’t very well educated. That’s hard to believe, what with being the land of Shakespeare and everything.

Well, it turns out that when you spend all day changing into different costumes and hats and jewelry and stuff, your education can be neglected.

Great science projects for your family…

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Blog Guy, my daughter, Julie, has to do a school project involving transportation. We were thinking about making a little cardboard sled.

A cardboard sled? Are you a chump? Don’t you care about getting little Julie into a decent college?

Drive slower, Ma, you can’t see over the mushrooms!

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Blog Guy, I’ve signed up for one of your tours to Krasnoyarsk, that Siberian city you call Wackytown. I’m very excited!

Cool! Which tour will you be joining?

It’s your “Sunny Siberia Beach Holiday,” in December. You’re positive we’ll have lots of warm beach weather in December?