Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Mr. Johnson, we’re here to apply for one of those “Zoo Performer” jobs you advertised. Can you tell us a little about what we’d have to do?
Sure thing, Chris. You stick your head in a crocodile’s mouth for the amusement of zoo visitors.
That’s because you don’t know about the space-age polymer mouth guards our crocodiles wear. These big guys can’t close their mouth, no matter how hard they try.
Mr. Johnson, may I ask a question about the jobs?
Of course, Julie.
Hello, thank you for calling Lamar’s Fix-It and Fried Okra Shop. How may I direct your call?
What do you mean direct my call? You have different departments?
No, just the fried okra and repair thing. You know our motto, “If it ain’t broke, we’ll pretend to fix it anyway.”
Blog Guy, is it just me, or am I seeing lots of photos of Abraham Lincoln in the news these days?
Yes, I’ve noticed it, too. Most recently with presidential candidate Michele Bachmann greeting a Lincoln lookalike at a Republican dinner in Iowa a couple of days ago.
Lamar, get in my office!
What’s up, Boss?
Look, you’ve had enough time! I told you if you want to make it in journalism, you need to hack into some voice messages, and I want to see what you’ve got. We’re on deadline!
I think you’ll be pretty happy, Boss. Look at this one. “It’s me. Pick up tuna fish and vodka on the way home.”
I swear, I don’t know why I keep getting suckered by these lame “list” stories. For instance, Ten Jobs that Don’t Require a Degree.
Please, let me save you the trouble of reading it. Basically, these are 10 jobs that may not require a college degree, but to get them you have to take really crappy entry-level jobs and work your way up, if you live long enough.
Blog Guy, last week you wrote about an opinion poll naming Casey Anthony the “most hated person in America.”
What’s wrong, Blog Guy? You look very frightened and upset.
I am. A neighbor told me about an event involving Nazis and dog bites and bee stings and…and…maybe yodeling.
You know that 1965 Julie Andrews movie, “The Sound of Music,” about a woman who works for a naval officer in a land-locked country as the governess for his hundreds of obnoxious children?
It all fits! Palin rides a motorcycle, just like the real Wonder Woman, and she always travels with her faithful calf, Shep, and her wise-cracking sidekick, Todd….