Mr. Johnson, we’re here to apply for one of those “Zoo Performer” jobs you advertised. Can you tell us a little about what we’d have to do?
Hello, thank you for calling Lamar’s Fix-It and Fried Okra Shop. How may I direct your call?
Blog Guy, is it just me, or am I seeing lots of photos of Abraham Lincoln in the news these days?
Lamar, get in my office!
What’s up, Boss?
Look, you’ve had enough time! I told you if you want to make it in journalism, you need to hack into some voice messages, and I want to see what you’ve got. We’re on deadline!
I swear, I don’t know why I keep getting suckered by these lame “list” stories. For instance, Ten Jobs that Don’t Require a Degree.
Blog Guy, last week you wrote about an opinion poll naming Casey Anthony the “most hated person in America.”
Blog Guy, you know that place in Siberia you say is the goofiest place on earth? I think you call it Wackytown, and you organize tours there.
What’s wrong, Blog Guy? You look very frightened and upset.
I am. A neighbor told me about an event involving Nazis and dog bites and bee stings and…and…maybe yodeling.
“I am Ioway born and bred, and on Ioway corn I’m fed…” **
Hey Blog Guy, so Michele Bachmann won that Iowa thing. What do you think swung it her way?
Blog Guy, you have a lot of inside info on politics and I’m hoping you can clear something up for me. I’ve heard that Sarah Palin may actually be Wonder Woman.