Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Who’s more fun than drunk people?

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Blog Guy, I’m planning a vacation and I’m looking for ideas. Generally I like to go where I can see a lot of dumbasses.

Really? I guess that’s one way to go. I would highly recommend Ukraine, then.

I’ll see a lot of them there?

I suspect so. The country’s environment minister has found it necessary to “free all bears kept in restaurants for entertainment purposes.”

Bears? In restaurants for entertainment purposes? I don’t get it.

Yes. Apparently drunken customers make the poor creatures drink vodka for laughs.

You’re a mean one, Mister Grinch…

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Man, I hope this guy is proud of himself.

But let me back up a minute.

When I was a boy, there was a Disney movie about a plucky little terrier who went to Edinburgh with his master, who then died.  The dog kept a 14-year vigil at his master’s grave, passing away himself in 1872.

Watching this as a child required more tissues than I could even carry into the theater. The movie was called “Greyfriars Bobby, the True Story of a Dog.”

It’s only art, what’s the worst that can happen?

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Here’s an actual true news item. Unionized art handlers have been picketing outside Sotheby’s after the auction house locked them out following a drawn-out contract dispute.

With the big fall auction season just a month away, the art handlers have been replaced by temps. Not surprisingly, the union says the temporary workers have had inferior training.

I’ll have the Satan Sandwich, sugar-coated!

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Blog Guy, I know you keep up with food trends, and I saw mention of a mouth-watering treat while reading all the stories about the debt crisis…

I’ll bet you’re talking about the chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus, who called the debt deal a “sugar-coated Satan sandwich.”

Jump now, avoid the crowds!

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Blog Guy, I keep reading in your blog about that place in Siberia that you call Wackytown, and I really want to visit there.

You mean Krasnoyarsk. Go there! You probably won’t be sorry. In fact, that’s their exact tourism slogan.

Presenting the Caribou Smoker Royale!

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Blog Guy, you’ve been very good about helping us find solutions to those tough household chores in the past, and I have some more questions.

Gosh, all I ever really do is point you in the direction of expensive Williams-Sonoma gadgets.

You kids, cut that out!

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Blog Guy, we all know you work with Lamar and your two dogs and two cats, but you hardly ever mention the rest of your blog staff. Give us some information about them.

There’s Ray, the typesetter, Duke, who runs the printing presses, there’s Wall Guy, there’s Kelli the photo editor, there’s Julie, our technical…

WARNING: Contents may be too cute for some viewers

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Blog Guy, I guess this is a tough time for you. I mean, it’s summer and people are doing other things, so your blog traffic must have dropped.

Yeah, it always plummets during the summer months.

Is there anything you can do to attract readers? You know, any little tricks?

Well, normally when it gets really bad I pay a chimpanzee to feed milk to a tiger cub. Then I get photos that are adorable beyond comprehension, and run them in my blog.

Relive my childhood HOW?

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Welcome back to a new installment of our popular feature, “Stuff Maybe We Should Have Mentioned in the Photo Caption, but didn’t.”

The actual captions on these photos tell us we’re seeing a truck where folks get free ice cream along with massages and manicures. The captions say the experience is “meant to be a new spin for adults to relive their childhood.” That’s really what they say.

Fashions for a more forgettable you…

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous fashion advice.

I’m in a business I’d rather not name, but it’s in my best interest for certain people not to be able to find me. Am I clear so far?

I’ve seen nothing, I’ve heard nothing.

Good, I guess you’re smarter than you look in your photo.

So anyway, I like to look fashionable, just like anybody on the run. Where can someone like me go for low-profile high fashion?