Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

A post-Thanksgiving image booster

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Blog Guy, I’m afraid I really pigged out yesterday at Thanksgiving, but I understand a few extra pounds are considered attractive these days.

Can you please find recent photos of some of the beautiful people who have let themselves go, so your readers can feel better about themselves after Turkey Day?

You betcha. Here at the top is a shot of Spain’s crown princess this week, and you can see her extra weight doesn’t seem to be slowing her down any.

Are you crazy, Blog Guy? She looks like a skeleton! They should be force-feeding her this very minute! Go back to your photo file and look again, and this time find a voluptuous, zaftig fashion model. Let’s see some curves!

A goofy Thanksgiving to all!

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Happy Thanksgiving, Blog Guy!

Thanks, and the same to you and to all my readers.

So what are you thankful for This Thanksgiving?

Me? I’m feeling very blessed to be surrounded by my dear family and great friends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course you have to say that, but specifically, what are you thankful for right now, this minute?

Want something that’s bad for you, Mr. President?

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Hi there, waitress, we’re the Corkery family, and we’ll be having your family-style breakfast special, where the whole family eats for for $22.95. I’ll have the…

Excuse me, Mr. Obama, I know who you are. You’re gonna have to go ahead and pay for your own breakfast…

The King’s playin’ with his crotch again

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Blog Guy, you seem to read a lot of history. I guess that’s to take your mind off the goofy stuff you see every day?

Are you kidding? History books are where I GET my goofiest stuff.  I find myself laughing out loud as I picture things I read. In his biography of William Shakespeare, author Bill Bryson tells us that King James I “was graceless in motion, with a strange lurching gait, and had a disconcerting habit, indulged more or less constantly, of playing with his codpiece.”

We need rhymers, not climbers!

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Blog Guy, I know you’ve been following Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain and his campaign, complete with that Libya video meltdown and the “Cain train,” but what do you think about his latest comment?

You mean where he said, “We need a leader, not a reader.”

Yep.

Well, it is jolting to hear a candidate say something like that, but I know he loves those rhyming phrases. It’s sort of his trademark. Here are some examples from my own wide-ranging Cain interview, conducted in my imagination…

Which job would you choose?

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I have a dead-end job selling lunch meat door-to-door, and I’m looking for something different.

Hmmmm. Are you willing to relocate overseas? Do you enjoy working outdoors and getting a little exercise on the job?

Get whiter teeth, with twice the pain

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Blog Guy, I read about a place in France that has made great strides in whitening teeth. Can you tell me more?

You’re in luck. I don’t actually read French, but then again I can make up stuff from looking at photos no matter where they were taken.

After Total Recall, time for a fling?

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Blog Guy, recently you did an item about a lot of consumer products recalled in a short period.  Were you trying to scare us?

No! Whatever made you think that?

The headline on it was, Attention! Everything has been recalled!

Oh, right. You mean the post about recent recalls of cantaloupe, lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, eggs, tuna, cars, motorcycles, gas range tops, recliner chairs…

The worst fashions? Manure couture…

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Blog Guy, I mainly come here for your coverage of really bad fashion. You do show us ALL the worst creations, right?

Of course I do. Except the stuff I need to protect my readers from, of course. But everything else gets…

So, you guys here on that Groupon deal?

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Blog Guy, wake up! Looks like you fell asleep at your computer.

Oh, yeah, thanks. I was going through the so-called “family photos” of finance ministers from the APEC Summit in Hawaii, and I keep falling asleep.

Can’t you get somebody else to do that?

Who? Who on earth is EVER going to look at these pictures, and yet they are a staple of every single summit. There are so many people, we don’t even bother to name them.