Hey, Blog Guy, did you know Barack Obama is out of the country?

Yes. It’s been in the news.

So, I hear he got into a bare-knuckle throw-down with some German guy. Is that right?

These things get blown out of proportion. Look, Obama and the Mayor of Berlin were discussing the best way to drink Jagermeister, and things got a bit heated. The mayor made fists and said, “My friends will settle this!”

Whoa! Then what?

Then Obama reached into his pocket and pulled out this heavy bear statue he takes everywhere, and said, “Maybe your friends should meet Mr. Bear!” That pretty much ended it. But don’t hold me to that version, because I’m just guessing based on a couple of pictures.

Okay, that sounds fair enough.

Are you on Facebook? Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama receives a statuette of a bear, symbol of the capital, from Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit during their meeting in Hotel Adlon in Berlin, July 24, 2008.  REUTERS/ Michael Kappeler/Pool

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Folks, we got a wedding to plan! Who’s giving away the bride? The proud father?

No, Salvatore’s in prison.

How about the bride’s Uncle Leoluca or her brother Gianni?

Prison.

Um, her brother Giuseppe?

Prison. No, wait! I think Giuseppe got out! HE can give her away!

Welcome to the tribulations of planning a wedding in Sicily for the daughter of a former “boss of bosses.” And it only gets worse.

Now, what town are they getting married in?

Corleone.

Corleone? You’re freakin’ kidding me, right? Why don’t you just shoot me now?

Are you on Facebook? Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Lucia Riina, daughter of the most feared Sicilian Mafia boss Salvatore “Toto” Riina, marries Vincenzo Bellomo in Corleone, Sicily, July 23, 2008. REUTERS/Stringer

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I see a lot of pictures of President Bush wearing various baseball caps. I was wondering, where does he get those?

Right. Whenever Air Force One lands, there’s a designated “basket lady.” She’s allowed through security with assorted small items to sell to the President. Baseball caps, tangerines, meat products…

Sometimes, as you can see in this photo, if he has enough small bills he’ll just buy the whole basket. After take-off he wears the hat and eats the food.

That’s not true! I think you’re just making up moronic horse-poopy again!

Oh yeah? Where ELSE would the President of the United States get a baseball cap?

President George W. Bush poses with Freedom Corps volunteer Sherri Goggin upon his arrival at Dobbins Air Reserve Base in Atlanta, GA, July 22, 2008. Bush is on a daytrip to Georgia to attend a Republican party fundraiser. REUTERS/Jason Reed

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I love your What Beats What? feature, and I have one for you. Which kind of bicycle is faster - racing, or stationary?

Good question! To find out, we entered a stationary exercise bike in the Tour de France. As you can see here, our bike was leading the pack when we last checked in.

But this is HUGE! Could your rider really win?

We may never know. Do you think the powerful tire makers will want it to get out if a stationary bike beats their high-priced racing tires?

Look, I’m in danger just running this photo. You need to send it to everyone you know, so the whole world will be watching. If you’re on Facebook, join the Oddly Enough blog network and even more people will see it!

Pack of riders cycles past woman on a stationary bicycle during the thirteenth stage of the Tour de France cycling race, July 18, 2008. REUTERS/ Bogdan Cristel

More stuff from Oddly Enough

I’ve posted items recently on the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona. And while I don’t think there is anything very macho about that activity - unless by macho you mean pathetic - I admit it does have some cachet when compared with another event this week.

Toro de Cuerda!! In English, that is “Bull on rope.” Yes. A bull restrained by a rope is allowed to “run” through the mean streets of Grazalema, Spain, while folks hide on handy structures above him. 

I’m not sure, but I believe the participants wear gore-proof clothing and have four-inch-thick safety glass between them and the animal, who for all I know may just be two guys in a bull costume.

Go ahead, try saying this in your most MACHO voice: “Oh, Si! I climbed above the tethered old arthritic bull who wears bifocal glasses!” Not exactly straight out of Hemingway, is it?

Are you on Facebook? Join the Oddly Enough blog network! 

People hold on to a window to avoid a bull during an event entitled ‘Toro de Cuerda’ (Bull on Rope) where a bull restrained by a rope is allowed to run through the streets in Grazalema, southern Spain July 21, 2008. REUTERS/Jon Nazca

More stuff from Oddly Enough

“So, you girls come here often? What’s yer sign? Hot enough fer ya in DC?

“What do I DO? Doncha recanize me?

“I’ll give ya a hint. I’m on TV EVERY day!

“Naw, I’m not Regis, but that’s a good guess. Does the name President Bush ring a bell?

“Well, right, but see that one was my daddy. We’re BOTH presidents! I’m really serious! I have photo ID here somewhere….”

If you’re on Facebook, do the right thing and join the Oddly Enough blog network!

President George W. Bush sits with Olympians, including Jackie Joyner Kersee (L), at a dinner in honor of U.S. past and present Olympians in the White House, July 21, 2008. REUTERS/ Joshua Roberts

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, my car got stolen last week and I’m furious! Is there any real progress on theft-prevention?

For sure. Have you seen the new Mercedes-Benz MS (Maximum Security) model in this photo? It is SO cool! The new security system tracks a would-be thief, snags him around the legs, hoists him upside-down on a retractable pole and holds him until police arrive.

Awesome! And is there anything, you know, beyond that?

Yes, another car maker is working on an MSV (Maximum Security Vigilante) model. It’s similar to the MS, except for the addition of boiling wax, electricity and flames. The police don’t even need to bother showing up, if you take my meaning.

Are you on Facebook? Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

An acrobat performs above Mercedes-Benz CLS 350 during its unveiling ceremony in Seoul July 21, 2008.  REUTERS/Ben Weller

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Quick quiz: The German phrase on this fashion model’s chest translates to…

a) “How’s my driving?”

b) “I can text-message with my bosom!”

c) “Help me get this ridiculous pink thing off my head!”

d) “Your call is very important to us”

I’m told it may mean “Fashion is a beautiful charade.” Then again, it may relate to that Schiller dude, whose missing skull is the stupidest story of the year, and his concept of an aesthetic illusion. Or, if the model is using her navel for punctuation, that could change everything.

If you’re on Facebook, join the Oddly Enough blog network!

A model shows a creation from the label ‘Susanne Wiebe’ during ‘Fashionweek Berlin Spring Summer 2009 ‘ in Berlin, July 17, 2008. REUTERS/Tobias Schwarz

More stuff from Oddly Enough

For the second time in a week, I’m presenting Things Maybe We Should Have Explained in a Caption, but Didn’t.

I have no choice, what with finding photos of a stage drama in which the caption tells us an actor is “dressed in meat.” Say what?

Don’t worry, I’m not going to stoop to awful word-play, like meaty role, a rare performance, the play was well done, he butchered the part… I do have some dignity, you know.

But I will say two things here. First, I suggest you see this play as close to opening night as possible, because those costumes won’t improve with age, if you take my meaning. And second, if my dogs ever get tickets to this play, it will not be a pretty sight.

Are you on Facebook? Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Actor Mislav Cavajda, dressed in meat, performs in the drama the “Bakhe” during Split summer festivities in Croatia, July 19, 2008. REUTERS/Stringer

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I’m the one who asked a lot about Angelina Jolie and her twins at the hospital in Nice recently. You can’t ignore me, because you’ve sworn the Bloggers’ Oath.

What do you want this time?

If people send gifts to Angelina and Brad and the twins, who delivers them? Are those French postal workers attractive? What should the packages look like?

Yeah, I guess the postal workers are pretty nice in Nice. After all, they’re French. And the packages should be very big, so they can be easily photographed by the media.

Hmm. Okay, now about the store where Angelina buys her diapers…

That’s it! I hereby renounce the Bloggers’ Oath!

Are you on Facebook? Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

A postal worker is followed by media as she brings presents for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s twins at the Nice Lenval hospital in Nice, France, July 19, 2008. REUTERS/Chris Serrano

More stuff from Oddly Enough