A certain Ms. Johnson, from Battle Creek, Michigan, writes that she’s going on vacation in Bulgaria, and she wants to make clothes that will blend in.

That’s very commendable, Ms. Johnson. Below is a photo from a fashion show in Bulgaria this very week, so I’m guessing that should seem pretty trendy to the people you meet there.

To make this outfit, you’ll need the upholstery from a 1973 Pontiac Grand Am - both the front and back seats. Typical undergarments would be some football shoulder pads and a Kevlar vest. For the skirt, you’ll need an inflatable swimming pool toy.

You won’t need an actual pattern to make the outfit, just a drawing of Minnie Mouse to copy. And as this professional model knows, the perfect finishing touch for this sexy ensemble is a big, come-hither smile!

Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

above: Minnie Mouse

A model presents a creation as part of Totally Erected fashion house Autumn/Winter 2008 -2009 collection in Sofia September 23, 2008. REUTERS/Stoyan Nenov

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Confidential note to fashion show staff:

Well, this is another fine mess I’m going to have to explain to the designers!

Yes, I admit I thought it was a good cost-cutting idea to pass over big-name supermodels for our show and hire cheap movie stunt women instead.

But I figured these women would play it straight! Who knew they’d treat it like real stunt work, hurling themselves on the runway, spitting teeth and spurting fake blood?

Who wants to see a model in Prada haute couture if she can’t walk? It was like a sorority party at 4 a.m.!  We’re going back back to zombie models!

On Facebook? Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

above: A model falls as she displays a creation from Prada Spring/Summer 2009 women’s collection during Milan Fashion Week September 23, 2008. REUTERS/Stefano Rellandini

REUTERS photos of other falling models: Caetano Barreira, Stephen Hird, Mike Segar, Andrea Comas, Joshua Lott and John Schults

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, didn’t President Bush address the United Nations General Assembly yesterday? Why haven’t I seen any photos or video of the event?

Hmmmmm. That’s a pretty good question. I just did some searching around, and it looks to me as though he gave the address facing the wrong way.

The wrong way? Shouldn’t somebody have told him to turn around? Wasn’t the first lady there?

Yeah, it looks to me like she was listening to her iPod most of the time. Just one of those things that can’t be helped, I guess.

Okay, but I’m going to keep looking, and if I find out this is more of your made-up garbage…

Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

U.S first lady Laura Bush listens to the address by her husband to the United Nations General Assembly at U.N. headquarters in New York September 23, 2008.

President George W. Bush leaves the podium after his final address to the U.N.  General Assembly in New York, September 23, 2008.

REUTERS photos by Mike Segar

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Some blog readers have been asking why I’m not in Las Vegas covering that O.J. Simpson memorabilia trial. There are several reasons:

1. Genuine bloggers don’t usually cover stuff in person because it’s too much work being a reporter.

2. These photos from the trial scare me. I don’t want him giving me one of those stink eye stares. Would you?

3. Now that I know he wants his memorabilia back, I can’t look at him without feeling guilty about owning some Simpson autographs. I mean, if I keep them, how will he ever get more?

Are you on Facebook? Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

REUTERS photos Isaac Brekken, Steve Marcus, John Locher, Jae C. Hong

More stuff from Oddly Enough

My Dear Mr. Gifford,

I regret that I shall not be able to join your upcoming mass parachute jump over Mount Everest, though it sounds exciting to hurtle past the 29,000-foot peak and land on a drop zone at 12,000 feet. I’m afraid my parachute is at the dry cleaners.

You have been quoted as saying this feat “has never been done before.” Actually, I believe there may be good reasons for that.

Also, I do not want to join the group that holds trampolines to catch unlucky jumpers whose chutes don’t open. I have seen numerous Daffy Duck cartoons, and those things do not work so well.

As an animal lover, though, I do applaud your efforts to supply the vultures with plenty of fresh meat for the cold weather ahead.

Don’t forget to wave.

Bob

Are you on Facebook? Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Nigel Gifford organizer of the skydiving team, demonstrates the use of an oxygen mask on one of his diving members in Kathmandu, September 23, 2008. REUTERS/Gopal Chitrakar

REUTERS Everest shot by David Gray

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, my friend and I are debating which is the most elite military force on Earth. What would you say?

It’s the legendary Ukraine Chair Patrol. In a country beset by furniture shortages, these troops are always on the move, ready to swoop in with ample seating so their officials don’t have to stand.

This awesome force can get a nice Ethan Allen grouping anywhere in Ukraine with an hours’ notice. For centuries, they’ve protected official foot stools and chairs.

Wow! When did they get their start?

During the Ottoman Empire. You really should have seen that one coming.

That’s it! I’m taking my italics and never coming back here!

Are you on Facebook? Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Ukrainian soldiers carry chairs for officials during Ukraine’s military drill near Rivne, west of Kiev, September 18, 2008. REUTERS/Gleb Garanich

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Recently, I ranted here about the sad state of today’s political protesters.

And now, more evidence that protest isn’t what it used to be. Note this caption informing us that these protesters are throwing “cobblestones, Molotov cocktails and shoes” at riot police.

Shoes? Sure enough, the street is littered with footwear. So, let’s see. We have cobblestone streets, which are hard to walk on, we have broken glass and flames from the Molotovs, and protesters creeping over that stuff BAREFOOT because they hurled their Pumas!

Gosh, I can’t imagine how the cops are going to identify the culprits. “ATTENTION! Will every foot surgeon in Budapest please report to Hungarian General Hospital? Take your time.”

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Far-right anti-government protesters throw cobblestones, Molotov cocktails and shoes at Hungarian riot police in Budapest, on September 20, 2008. REUTERS/Karoly Arvai

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Readers often ask me for more celebrity gossip. I’m not crazy about that kind of reporting, but out of respect for the eight million unique users who come to this blog anytime I mention Pamela Anderson, I’ll make an exception.

The hot news about Pam’s love life is, she appears to be dating a mime. This shot from a London fashion show yesterday reveals the actress getting cozy with one of those silent performers who are always stuck in glass boxes, and seem to be way too happy, or way too sad.

Pam has not revealed the mime’s identity, but has told friends she loves the fact that he doesn’t talk a lot, he lets her use his makeup, and he keeps his glass box pretty clean.

Facebook Odd Blog Network

Actress Pamela Anderson sits next to a mystery guest before the Vivienne Westwood spring/summer 2009 show at London Fashion Week, September 18, 2008. REUTERS/Suzanne Plunkett

More stuff from Oddly Enough

As we wind down the longest election campaign in the history of Earth by dissecting the nuances of words like lipstick and pig, it seems a good time to check out attitudes in other countries.

Take Miguel Angel Revilla, this politician in Spain, who’s taking some criticism because he just said in an interview that his first sex was in a brothel. Actually, he said it much more colorfully than that, but I can’t really repeat it here if I want to come back tomorrow.

So now his female colleagues say he shouldn’t be encouraging today’s young people to pay for their first time, and his male colleagues don’t seem to be saying much at all. Revilla says 99 percent of Spanish men did the same thing back then, and that it isn’t worth talking about “what a poor 18-year-old did…”

Of course, “poor” may be a bad choice of words, since he DID seem to have had SOME disposable income…

Facebook Odd Blog Network

above: Miguel Angel Revilla in 2006 file photo. REUTERS/ Victor Fraile

below: Prostitute poses after modeling in Madrid, June 26, 2008. Prostitutes held fashion parade to protest plans to buy up premises in which they have long plied their trade. REUTERS/Andrea Comas

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, you’re all over the fashion scene. How would you describe the look for next spring?

I’ve been studying the new creations at London Fashion Week, and I’d call them glams on the half-shell. Many of them include bivalve-style helmets, for today’s busy gal who needs to go straight from a cocktail party to the International Space Station.

You can’t beat that for flexibility, but you’d better plan on a lot of time at the gym, to get ready for this look.

Oh? Why the gym?

To work on toning your mussels.

Sigh. And you wonder why readers say you’re a moron?

Facebook Odd Blog Network

Models wear creations by Giles during his spring/summer 2009 show at London Fashion Week September 16, 2008. REUTERS/Luke MacGregor

More stuff from Oddly Enough