Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Lamar, where did you get the models for today’s fashion show?
From my psychiatrist. They’re all in therapy for various things, so they’re happy to have the work.
Oh sure, Boss, most of the ones with violent tendencies turned down the gig. My shrink says one of these chicks is being treated for narcolepsy.
You mean the excessive urge to sleep at inappropriate times, such as while at work, huh? I bet I can spot that one.
Lamar, the rest of the models aren’t even stopping to help her.
Yeah, those would be the members of Doc’s therapy group for the totally self-absorbed. He says they’re not making much progress…
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written about any new signs of that onrushing Apocalypse, so I foolishly thought things might be getting better.
Let’s see here. Roman Catholic bishops in Wisconsin are urging their parishioners not to bring weapons TO CHURCH, now that a new law permits state residents to carry concealed firearms and electric weapons such as stun guns or tasers.
So, pal, what do you do for a living?
What do I DO? I am FABIO!
I am an actor and a model!
Oh! Have I seen you in anything?
Probably. I played the Handsome Man in “Scenes from a Mall,” the Blind Date in “Boogies Diner,” and I have done numerous cameos.
No. The short kind.
Hmmmm. You do look familiar.
I am also a spokesman.
Spokesman, huh? For what?
I can’t believe it’s not butter.
What, this stuff on our plate isn’t butter?
No. I am a spokesman for I can’t believe it’s not butter!
Ah, I don’t watch much TV.
Do you read? I write books and my bare chest is on the covers! Perhaps you have read “Rogue,” “Comanche,” “Viking…”
So, Blog Guy, as a keen observer of the political scene, what’s your take? Can Herman Cain be elected president at this point?
Because of the….
Exactly. Because of his name.
Now I’m confused. His name?
Of course. What did you think I meant? Check out the U.S. Bill of Rights, and you’ll see that nobody named Lemuel, Enoch or Herman is allowed to become president.
Blog Guy, I’m a fed-up, angry American. Enough is enough!
You must mean the Kardashians?
Of course! They’re everywhere! Now the mother has written her “memoirs,” and that daughter that got married like a week ago has already filed for divorce. How many of them are there, anyway?
Blog Guy, I guess you’ve been reading about the huge recall of cantaloupes because of that deadly listeria outbreak?
Yes, but recalls in general are coming too fast to count. In the past month, we’ve had stories about recalls of lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, brewers yeast tablets, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, organic eggs, frozen tuna…
It’s the same old story, Lamar. We’ve got a major fashion show today, but we can’t afford to pay professional models. You always manage to come through with models on the cheap. Any luck?
FREE? Huzzah! But how did you work that?
Oh. Well, they’re under the impression we’re having a reality TV talent show, so they each get to do a little “act” on the runway.
In case some of you missed it because of the freak snowstorm, I’m going to mention an unusual political story from Saturday. It involves Herman Cain, one of the front-runners for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination.
According to the Associated Press, Cain said he will “dial back” his campaign and media appearances in order to avoid missteps.