Continuing on with today’s theme of curious responses by onlookers who are present at a crime scene…

Maybe you’ve already seen our video of a mafia-style hit on a guy with a mafia criminal record. It’s pretty strong stuff, and also fairly surprising.

A guy is smoking a cigarette outside a bar, a dude in a baseball cap walks into the bar, then comes out and kills cigarette guy with several shots.

Meanwhile, a woman checking out her scratch-off lottery ticket just keeps on doing that, then walks away. Even the hitman just walks off.

For those of us trained in human behavior, this raises a number of questions:

• This new get-tough initiative on smokers, is it working?
• Why are baseball fans suddenly turning so violent?
• Are lottery officials allowed to use this footage in an ad campaign along the lines of, “Hold the noise down boys, I think I won the lottery!”

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I’m very reluctant to call anyone stupid. What? Yes, I HAVE used that word in 423 blog posts, which just goes to show my restraint.

So here is this story about “soccer legend” Diego Maradona. He checked into a weight-loss clinic in Italy, and finance police promptly seized his earrings to help pay off his back taxes.

Now, what’s odd about that?

Our story says three years ago tax police took two Rolex watches from Maradona when he was in Italy for a benefit match.

In 2005, they seized his payout for participating in a TV dancing show, and in 2001 he was met by 20 police officers as he got off a plane in Rome.

Now, if this happened to me with such regularity, I’d say, “WTF! Give me a map of Europe! I’m gonna figure out which place is Italy, and not go there anymore!”

But instead, this guy seems to pack for every visit saying, “I need to take something nice for the tax man….”

“Oh look, honey, they’re waiting for us at customs! Give me a necklace or something - it’s impolite to not bring them anything!”

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Left:Former Argentine soccer star Diego Maradona at a match in Buenos Aires, in 2006. REUTERS/Marcos Brindicci

Right: Argentina’s national soccer coach Maradona watches their World Cup 2010 qualifying soccer match against in Asuncion, September 9, 2009. REUTERS/ Stringer

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Blog Guy, you haven’t done any fantasy photos for a few days. I want some!

I’m here to make you happy. What the hell do you want?

I want a photo of a billionaire dressed like a clown.

Sigh. Any special setting?

No, it can be anyplace, so long as it’s in Red Square.

Holy crap! Anything else?

Yes. I want a photo of actor Sylvester Stallone in his private bathroom.

Geez, I sure hope the authorities are watching you. Okay, here are the two shots you requested.

Hey! That billionaire is just some Canadian clown!

You expected what, Warren Buffett in a red wig?

And this caption says Stallone is in a theater, not a bathroom!

Sure, but isn’t this pretty much how you think his bathroom at home would look?

You’ve got me there, Blog Guy. Thanks for the snaps!

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Above: Canadian billionaire Guy Laliberte poses in Red Square in Moscow September 10, 2009. Laliberte, who owns Cirque du Soleil, is set to become Canada’s first space tourist. REUTERS/ Sergei Remezov

Below: Actor Sylvester Stallone poses while visiting La Fenice theater in Venice, September 11, 2009. REUTERS/Michele Crosera

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Blog Guy, what can you tell me about that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi guy, who seems to be involved in lots of controversy these days? Have you seen him speak in person?

He doesn’t give speeches. He does comedy shtick. He patterns his stage act after hip ’60s comics like Shelley Berman and Bob Newhart, with imagined telephone chats.

Awesome! Is he funny? “

He’s hilarious! Well, uh, actually I don’t speak Italian, but I guess he’s probably okay.

Ah. And what’s this stuff about Berlusconi’s scandals involving young women? Any truth to that?

I can’t say, but I do know that after I blogged this week about actor George Clooney’s rumored ability to get women just by gesturing what he wants, Berlusconi appeared to throw down the gauntlet, describing better-endowed chicks, as you can see in these photos below.

Thanks, but I’d rather see pictures of the chicks they got.

Sorry, this isn’t that kind of a blog.

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Upper left: Comedian Shelley Berman

Upper right: Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi gestures during a right-wing youth party meeting in Rome, September 9, 2009.  REUTERS/Remo Casilli

Right: Italy’s Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi gestures as he speaks during a news conference in Milan, September 8, 2009. REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo

Right: Actor George Clooney is escorted by police during his tour of earthquake-damaged areas in central Italy, July 9, 2009. REUTERS/Philippe Wojazer

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Blog Guy, what do you think it’s like being George Clooney? I bet it’s pretty neat!

You have a real way with words, stranger. I’m guessing “pretty neat” is accurate.

Take these shots of Clooney arriving by speedboat in Venice yesterday. It was like in the 90s in Italy, but he’s totally fresh looking.

Actually, it was in the mid-70s in Italy. You’re probably thinking of India.

Italy, India, whatever. Anyway, I hear when Clooney goes someplace all he has to do is describe the sort of woman he wants, and they just bring her to him.

Is that really true?

I think so. Look at the photo below from when he was in Italy in July. What else could he possibly be talking about?

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Above: Actor George Clooney arrives by speedboat in Venice September 7, 2009. He will be attending the 66th Venice Film Festival for his premiere of “The Men Who Stare at Goats”. REUTERS/Manuel Silvestri

Clooney is escorted by police during his tour of earthquake-damaged areas in central Italy, July 9, 2009. REUTERS/ Philippe Wojazer

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Blog Guy, I read that they’re doing a remake of the classic 1980 comedy “Caddyshack.” That means we’ll see the great Bill Murray again in that hysterical gopher scene?

No. They’ve gone another direction with the casting. The part of Carl Spackler is being played by Thailand’s prime minister, as you can see in this studio publicity photo taken today.

Okay, hang on. Why would they use a Thai politician? What’s Bill Murray doing now?

He and George Clooney are working on an earthquake disaster film. Look at the photo below, from Italy during the G8 summit.

Why would Bill Murray and George Clooney need to be where the G8 summit is?

I guess they represented the Thai prime minister so he could keep shooting “Caddyshack.”

You’re driving me nuts here. In the photo, the prime minister is with a ferret, not a gopher.

Yes, that ferret is a big star in Thailand. On the movie set, he…

Please don’t say it.

Yes, he has his own gofer.

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Above: “Caddyshack” publicity photo, and Thailand’s Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva looks at a ferret at Silapakorn University on the outskirts of Bangkok, July 12, 2009. REUTERS/Chaiwat Subprasom

Left: Actors George Clooney and Bill Murray (R) tour an area hit by an earthquake in L’Aquila, July 9, 2009. The two visited the region during the G8 Summit. REUTERS/Daniele La Monaca

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It’s time once again for an episode of our popular feature, Stuff Maybe We Should Have Mentioned in the Caption, But Didn’t.

Yesterday they shot the group photo of the world leaders who participated in a summit in L’Aquila, Italy.

Our actual caption on this photo here tells us that President Barack Obama and French President Nicolas Sarkozy  “take their places with junior G8 delegates for a family photo…”

I guess it didn’t occur to us to mention that something far more interesting is going on here, and that Obama and Sarkozy aren’t giving their fullest attention to finding their places for the group photo.

I don’t believe that chick is the leader of a country, not even a little-bitty one, so she must be one of those “junior delegates.”

I couldn’t find her in the group photo of the real leaders, but maybe she was voted out of office just before they snapped the picture.

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U.S. President Barack Obama (C) and France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy (R) take their places with junior G8 delegates for a family photo at the G8 summit in L’Aquila, Italy, July 9, 2009. REUTERS/Jason Reed

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Blog Guy, I’ve been following President Barack Obama at the G8 summit. Can you please tell me what all those world leaders do most of the time?

They walk. And walk. And walk…. And walk…

Really?

Sure. Look at this summit photo of Obama on an endless red carpet. That’s pretty typical.

A recent efficiency study found that leaders of major countries spend 72 percent of their time walking, mostly in grand hallways. It appears to be the reason why so little gets done.

You take the White House. The pictures below show Obama making endless trips back and forth to the East Room using a hallway which is roughly two miles long.

Do you think he feels like actually working by the time he gets there? Heck no. He slugs down a frosty cold Corona Light and then heads back the other way.

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President Barack Obama arrives at Quirinale palace to meet Italian President Giorgio Napolitano in Rome July 8, 2009. Obama arrived in Italy on Wednesday to attend the G8 summit. REUTERS/ Paolo Giandotti-Italian Presidency Press Office

President Barack Obama walks in the cross hall at the White House, April 29, 2009. REUTERS photos by Jason Reed and Jim Young.

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Afternoon, Mr. Johnson, we’re the whippers you called for. You know, from Acme Whipping and Lawn Care.

You probably saw our ad in the Yellow Pages: “Acme, we can whip anybody!”

Dressed funny? Heck no, this is normal whipper attire for summertime. We do most of our work outdoors. Matter of fact, these are spanking-new duds we bought at the Milan Fashion Show, over there in Italy.

Zorro? Nah, that’s just Floyd in that black mask. He’s got some warrants out on him and it’s easier if he just hides his face.

So, whatcha got that needs whippin’, Mr. Johnson? Some adulterers? Horse thieves? Liberals?

Oh, I know what you’re wonderin’ about, Mr. Johnson. This long string dangling out of my shorts. It’s just my little joke. Go ahead, pull it. See what happens!

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Models present creations as part of the Vivienne Westwood Spring/Summer 2010 men’s collection during Milan Fashion Week June 21, 2009. REUTERS/Stefano Rellandini

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I guess every couple in love wants to be Romeo and Juliet. To refresh your memory, Juliet was a 13-year-old girl who couldn’t marry her boyfriend, so she takes a potion that makes her seem dead, then he finds her and takes poison, and when she wakes up and sees his body she stabs herself to death.

What young love bugs wouldn’t want a relationship like that?

Now modern lovers can have the ultimate romantic thrill, getting married on the balcony in the 13th century mansion thought to be the home of the Capulets of Shakespeare’s tragedy, ‘West Side Story.’

This is big stuff for incurable romantics. If it’s a success, there’s no end to the mawkishly tragic romantic shrines of pop culture that can offer the same deal.

“Honey, have you thought about where we should hold the wedding? I want someplace really romantic!

“I’m thinking like that air strip in ‘Casablanca.’ Or the cave in ‘The English Patient.’ Or you know, that Moscow tram from ‘Dr. Zhivago.”’

“Well wait, sweetie, don’t forget that covered bridge in Madison County… Or the Titanic. Is that still around?”

Video clip of the wedding

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Luca Ceccarelli kisses his wife Irene Lanforti after getting married at Casa di Giulietta in Verona, Italy, June 1, 2009. Casa di Giulietta, or Juliet’s House, is a museum dedicated to Shakespeare’s “Romeo & Juliet” play. REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo

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