Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

But one of those guys IS the pope, right?

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Blog Guy, I was stunned by the attack on Pope Benedict by a woman at the start of his Christmas Eve mass. Can you explain exactly what happened?

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Yes. Through detailed scientific computer analysis of individual video frame grabs, you can see every detail. One of the clergy turned into a hideous, hollow-eyed goat’s head, then there was a flash of red, and then two men in chef’s hats ran in.

I think you’re just making up that crap, Blog Guy. Your analysis is totally worthless. How are we ever going to know what happened?

Well, you could just watch the video clip, which isn’t bad. That’s what I did.

Uncle Lamar’s very last Christmas display

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Blog Guy, my family and I LOVE Christmas light displays, the bigger the better. We’ve gone all over the world. Anyway, we feel like we’ve done it all, and we’re getting jaded. Is there anything we may have missed?

WEATHER

Yes. Judging from a photo I just found from flooded Venice, Italy, there is about to be an astounding live action display. Have a look.

Heartwarming holiday story restores my faith in man…

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Blog Guy, I recall from earlier years that you suffer from a serious problem at Christmas?

Yes, I have too much holiday spirit. It makes me giddy, and I’m no good until something brings me back down to earth, like a very special seasonal story. You know the recent attack on Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, where a guy threw a souvenir statuette that broke two of his teeth and gashed his lip.

Another reason not to smoke?

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Continuing on with today’s theme of curious responses by onlookers who are present at a crime scene…

Maybe you’ve already seen our video of a mafia-style hit on a guy with a mafia criminal record. It’s pretty strong stuff, and also fairly surprising.

Hey Diego! Know where you should avoid?

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I’m very reluctant to call anyone stupid. What? Yes, I HAVE used that word in 423 blog posts, which just goes to show my restraint.

So here is this story about “soccer legend” Diego Maradona. He checked into a weight-loss clinic in Italy, and finance police promptly seized his earrings to help pay off his back taxes.

Are you SURE that’s Stallone’s bathroom?

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Blog Guy, you haven’t done any fantasy photos for a few days. I want some!

I’m here to make you happy. What the hell do you want?

I want a photo of a billionaire dressed like a clown.

Sigh. Any special setting?

No, it can be anyplace, so long as it’s in Red Square.

Holy crap! Anything else?

Yes. I want a photo of actor Sylvester Stallone in his private bathroom.

Geez, I sure hope the authorities are watching you. Okay, here are the two shots you requested.

Hey! That billionaire is just some Canadian clown!

You expected what, Warren Buffett in a red wig?

And this caption says Stallone is in a theater, not a bathroom!

Sure, but isn’t this pretty much how you think his bathroom at home would look?

Grazie! I’ll be here all week!

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Blog Guy, what can you tell me about that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi guy, who seems to be involved in lots of controversy these days? Have you seen him speak in person?

He doesn’t give speeches. He does comedy shtick. He patterns his stage act after hip ’60s comics like Shelley Berman and Bob Newhart, with imagined telephone chats.

We can find her for you, George!

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Blog Guy, what do you think it’s like being George Clooney? I bet it’s pretty neat!

You have a real way with words, stranger. I’m guessing “pretty neat” is accurate.

Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers!

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Blog Guy, I read that they’re doing a remake of the classic 1980 comedy “Caddyshack.” That means we’ll see the great Bill Murray again in that hysterical gopher scene?

No. They’ve gone another direction with the casting. The part of Carl Spackler is being played by Thailand’s prime minister, as you can see in this studio publicity photo taken today.

That’s really subtle, dudes!

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It’s time once again for an episode of our popular feature, Stuff Maybe We Should Have Mentioned in the Caption, But Didn’t.

Yesterday they shot the group photo of the world leaders who participated in a summit in L’Aquila, Italy.