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Blog Guy, will you please set up one of your famous fantasy photos for me?

What do you have in mind?

Well, I want to be in it myself. I’ll be in a train station…

Already I don’t like where this is going.

See, this gorgeous brunette – like Kate Middleton, only much prettier – dressed all in black, with stiletto boots, roars up on a big red BSA Spitfire and stops to let me on the back…

I’m gonna stop you right there, Ace. Let me take a wild guess. You’re over 60, you’re losing your hair and you’re no Brad Pitt. Am I right?

Er, well, yes. How did you know?

Because you’re the 14th guy today to ask for that exact same fantasy shot. Show up at the railway station on Tuesday. I’ve got a 10:45 a.m. slot open, take it or leave it.

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Thriller writer Jeffery Deaver poses for photographers with model Chesca Miles on a BSA Spitfire motorbike to launch the new James Bond book “Carte Blanche” at St Pancras station in London May 25, 2011. REUTERS/Paul Hackett