Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Duchess? It has a certain ring to it…

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Blog Guy, thanks for all your coverage of the royal visit by Britain’s Prince William and Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge. I guess it served its purpose, to raise their profile, huh?

Oh grow up. You think this visit was about them? The Brits have the single most famous piece of jewelry on earth, Catherine’s 18-carat sapphire and diamond ring, and they want to make sure it keeps circulating.

I gather market research and found there were a couple of people in North America who hadn’t seen it, so it was time to correct that.

They arranged a whole royal tour just to show off a ring?

Sure. It’s in almost every shot of Catherine on the trip, playfully sparkling for the cameras. You think that was an accident?

Because you’re worth it, Honey…

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royal rings kate 490

It isn’t often that one of my posts generates serious economic debate. But a few days ago I explained that we couldn’t show a copy-quality photo of a Gaugin painting, because then people at home could paint their own and flood the art market with hundred million dollar paintings.

BRITAIN ROYAL/RINGMy readers were skeptical about whether it really works like that, so I’ll try again.

The Used Underwear of the Apocalypse?

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madoff auction 490

Blog Guy, thank you so much for keeping us alert on signs of that Apocalypse which seems to be hurtling toward us. Last week you warned us about the proliferation of craters and sinkholes. Are there any new signs?

MADOFF/You bet. Tomorrow, keep your eyes on an auction of stuff that once belonged to Bernie Madoff, the mega-swindler who is serving 150 years in prison.

Then those animals FORCED me to shop!

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MARKETS-PRECIOUS/

Okay, now I just feel like a total jerk.

We have a great story from Beijing about officials issuing an advisory on Hong Kong travel after a video surfaced showing tourists being insulted and “forced to shop” by a tour guide. I’m not making this up.

Indeed, the story says a 65-year-old tourist died from a heart attack in Hong Kong, after arguing with a tour guide over forced shopping there.

I’m calling this ring Mini Pearl!

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From Switzerland comes news that a Hong Kong tycoon who bought a flawless blue diamond for a record $9.5 million has now named it the “Star of Josephine.”************I’m not sure why this is important. Naming jewelry is no big deal. For years, my wife has been naming the tokens of affection I’ve given her on romantic occasions.******It started with her engagement ring, an admittedly very modest ruby which she christened the Dinky Pinky.******Soon, the Dinkster was joined by a diamond named Mr. Chips, followed by a pearl she calls, well, Poor Pitiful Pearl.******These adornments now share space in her jewelry box alongside El Shrimpo, Mr. Measly and Li’l Sapphire. Last Christmas, they were joined by Pretty Boy Flawed. So take that, Josephine!***

Why bother to think? Join the Oddly Enough blog network

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Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

************Model displays the diamond during an auction preview in Geneva May 6, 2009. It was found in 2008 and weighs 7.03 carats. The buyer will have the honor of naming the diamond as the first owner of the stone. REUTERS/Denis Balibouse***

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Okay, that’s my last offer, your holiness…

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Blog Guy, after New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson dropped out of the Commerce Secretary nomination, what’s he up to now? I mean apart from being governor.

Well, I just saw some photos of him today. It appears he’s hanging around public places trying to sell jewelery.

Hi! You must be here for the um, um, um…

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Blog guy, I have a major fashion dilemma. Tomorrow I’m supposed to go motorcycling in the morning, swimming in the afternoon, and then to a glitzy cocktail party, and I won’t have time to change in-between. Help!

fashion-black-swimsuit-crop-180.jpgYou sound VERY busy! Here’s a useful fashion tip: If you’re busy, and you’re an idiot, then dress like a busy idiot.

I just wanna see how this looks in a taxi. I’ll be back…

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rings-160.jpgThis isn’t the kind of jewelry heist where they use the word “mastermind” a lot. The robber didn’t work too hard on a plan, and luckily he found a shop that didn’t try too hard to foil him, either.

The guy asks to see a bunch of rings and necklaces, which he tries on, and then walks out and gets in a taxi. However, I think even I could find this dude, since he’s described as 6’5″, weighing 250 pounds, with a Chinese symbol tattooed on his neck. Nice touch to try on necklaces, so they couldn’t possibly miss the tattoo. 

Cue the James Bond music…

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Gold forearm, she’s the girl, the girl with the Midas touch,
It’s a bit much,
Gold forearm, she’s been kissed, with bracelets stacked on her wrist,
Can’t make a fist,
Trendy places she’d like to have gone,
But the airlines won’t let her get on,
When this golden girl is walking her ferrets,
All her limbs are 18 carats…
Gold forearm…

Memo to fashion show security staff: Somebody has raided the models’ bracelet cabinet. We need to find the jewelry before the show. Whomever did the job must have hidden it, because nobody is tacky enough to wear all of it at one time. Keep your eyes open…

The flawless diamond caper…

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parkour-160.jpg I’ve been planning this heist for months, but now that we’re going in, I feel like maybe I overlooked some detail. I guess that’s natural.

Let’s see. I know for sure that $14 million worth of  flawless diamonds are in the mansion. I know this is the one day a year when they leave that titanium  vault open and the back door ajar so the appraiser can get in. This is the day they take their killer dobermans on a picnic and  leave two friendly, well-fed golden retrievers to guard the whole  shebang…