From Switzerland comes news that a Hong Kong tycoon who bought a flawless blue diamond for a record $9.5 million has now named it the “Star of Josephine.”

I’m not sure why this is important. Naming jewelry is no big deal. For years, my wife has been naming the tokens of affection I’ve given her on romantic occasions.

It started with her engagement ring, an admittedly very modest ruby which she christened the Dinky Pinky.

Soon, the Dinkster was joined by a diamond named Mr. Chips, followed by a pearl she calls, well, Poor Pitiful Pearl.

These adornments now share space in her jewelry box alongside El Shrimpo, Mr. Measly and Li’l Sapphire. Last Christmas, they were joined by Pretty Boy Flawed. So take that, Josephine!

Why bother to think? Join the Oddly Enough blog network

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

Model displays the diamond during an auction preview in Geneva May 6, 2009. It was found in 2008 and weighs 7.03 carats. The buyer will have the honor of naming the diamond as the first owner of the stone. REUTERS/Denis Balibouse

More stuff from Oddly Enough

tMstMO9c&fDu

Blog Guy, after New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson dropped out of the Commerce Secretary nomination, what’s he up to now? I mean apart from being governor.

Well, I just saw some photos of him today. It appears he’s hanging around public places trying to sell jewelery.

Excuse me? That doesn’t sound right. You mean he’s just going up to strangers to see if they want to buy something?

That’s how it looks. You have to give him credit. Today he got through tight Vatican security to try selling a necklace to Pope Benedict XVI.

Amazing. Did the pope buy anything?

I’m not sure, although in the photo it looks like his holiness is driving a hard bargain.

I think this is just more of your lazy reporting. Check the captions, and you’ll see this was a gift.

Of course they would say that. You think they want every Tom, Dick and Harry schlepping jewelery to Saint Peter’s Square?

That’s it. I’m never coming back to this bottomless cesspool of misinformation.

Big talk, but the next time you need to get something wrong, you’ll come crawling back here.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Above: New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson displays the gift he was to present to Pope Benedict XVI before the Wednesday general audience in Saint Peter’s square at the Vatican, April 15, 2009. REUTERS/Tony Gentile

Below: Richardson presents gift to the pope. REUTERS/Osservatore Romano

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog guy, I have a major fashion dilemma. Tomorrow I’m supposed to go motorcycling in the morning, swimming in the afternoon, and then to a glitzy cocktail party, and I won’t have time to change in-between. Help!

You sound VERY busy! Here’s a useful fashion tip: If you’re busy, and you’re an idiot, then dress like a busy idiot.

This striking black leather jacket will deflect the wind while roaring along on your Harley. Then, when you get to the beach, there is a sexy black vinyl swimsuit, which can be dried quickly without even taking it off. It’s like wearing a child’s place mat!

Then it’s off to your posh party. Note the spectacular bejeweled necklace which will make you the hit of any soiree, and the dressy white gloves which won’t leave prints if you want to steal some stuff.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network.

A model presents a creation by German designer Karl Lagerfeld for French fashion house Chanel during their Spring/Summer 2009 ready-to-wear fashion show in Paris October 3, 2008.  REUTERS/ Charles Platiau

More stuff from Oddly Enough

This isn’t the kind of jewelry heist where they use the word “mastermind” a lot. The robber didn’t work too hard on a plan, and luckily he found a shop that didn’t try too hard to foil him, either.

The guy asks to see a bunch of rings and necklaces, which he tries on, and then walks out and gets in a taxi. However, I think even I could find this dude, since he’s described as 6′5″, weighing 250 pounds, with a Chinese symbol tattooed on his neck. Nice touch to try on necklaces, so they couldn’t possibly miss the tattoo. 

Anyway, while he made off with several items, the total value was just $9,800. With the price of gold and gems today, he must have gone OUT OF HIS WAY to find the cheapest stuff in the store! “Excuse me, do you have some gold-painted plastic beads, and some tin rings with cut glass in them that I can try on?”

The heist story

Probably not the robber: Christie’s jewellery specialist displays rings in a 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Denis Balibouse  

A model presents a creation by Italian designer Riccardo Tisci for French fashion house Givenchy as part of Fall/Winter 2008/09 women’s ready-to-wear fashion show in Paris February 27, 2008.  REUTERS/Gonzalo Fuentes

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Gold forearm, she’s the girl, the girl with the Midas touch,
It’s a bit much,
Gold forearm, she’s been kissed, with bracelets stacked on her wrist,
Can’t make a fist,
Trendy places she’d like to have gone,
But the airlines won’t let her get on,
When this golden girl is walking her ferrets,
All her limbs are 18 carats…
Gold forearm…

Memo to fashion show security staff: Somebody has raided the models’ bracelet cabinet. We need to find the jewelry before the show. Whomever did the job must have hidden it, because nobody is tacky enough to wear all of it at one time. Keep your eyes open…

More posts about jewelry

Model displays gold jewelry ahead of the Hindu festival of Akshaya Tritiya at a showroom in southern Indian city of Hyderabad May 6, 2008.  REUTERS/ Krishnendu Halder

More stuff from Oddly Enough

 I’ve been planning this heist for months, but now that we’re going in, I feel like maybe I overlooked some detail. I guess that’s natural.

Let’s see. I know for sure that $14 million worth of  flawless diamonds are in the mansion. I know this is the one day a year when they leave that titanium  vault open and the back door ajar so the appraiser can get in. This is the day they take their killer dobermans on a picnic and  leave two friendly, well-fed golden retrievers to guard the whole  shebang…

And for sure, this is the one day they leave that big iron gate unlocked, and turn off the lethal electrical charge that always surges through it… Wait! DID I check on that darned electricity thing, or not?  I’m not sure…

More posts about crime

A member of the Street Show PK Club shows parkour skills at a park in Hangzhou, China, April 9, 2008. Parkour is “the art of moving,” involving moving from one point to another as efficiently and quickly as possible. REUTERS/ Steven Shi

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Well, the fashion industry says these clear cube bracelets will be huge this summer, but I don’t think so. Here are some problems I see:

• - You know how you buy a bag of fried pork rinds from a vending machine and they don’t come all the way down, so then you have to stick your hand up there and grab them? You try doing that wearing these!

- A summer accessory? Two words: sun magnification. We’re talking heat rash, second degree burns and wrists so puffy you’ll have to hack the things off with a saw!

- Think you can eat corn-on-the-cob wearing these? Think again…

- And finally, no matter what some slick ad campaign tells you, cheap clear plastic is not “the new platinum.”

A model displays an outfit of SLY at the Tokyo Runway 2008 Spring and Summer collection March 23, 2008. REUTERS/Yuriko Nakao

More stuff from Oddly Enough

This guy decides to ask his girlfriend to marry him, so how does he do it?

• He gives her a $12,000 ring at home, with a cozy fire in the fireplace and a bottle of champagne chilling?
• He gives her a $12,000 ring at their favorite restaurant, over a perfect creme brulee?
• He puts a $12,000 ring in a helium balloon and takes it outside to hand it to her on a windy day?

Maybe you see where this is going. The balloon was last spotted drifting high over London.

Cripes! I’m surprised he didn’t suck in some of that helium himself and propose in a high squeaky voice! In our story, he says he feels like “such a plonker.” I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds about right.

Children release balloons in 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Michael Dalder

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Memo to fashion show staff:

I am happy to announce we’ve secured the services of Mr. T, of “Rocky” and “A-Team” fame, to be  jewelry consultant for this show.  

Mr. T brings a wealth of experience in hanging gold chains on everything, including himself. “It’s just like putting tinsel on a Christmas Tree,” he says. “I throw lots of stuff and see what sticks. I pity the fool that doesn’t like it…”

Yeah, I know, his taste sucks, but who’s going to tell him he’s fired? Not me! Now, bring out the first model, and let’s see how bad it is…

Related postings: Truth, or spoof? and Don’t wear the bracelet on your neck

A model presents a creation by Italian designer Riccardo Tisci for French fashion house Givenchy as part of his Fall/Winter 2008/09 women’s ready-to-wear fashion show in Paris February 27, 2008.  REUTERS/Gonzalo Fuentes

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Salutations, Blog Guy - My husband is a gladiator. It’s a living. Us “glad wives” are expected to show up and cheer, but I need accessories. I want edgy stuff that sort of says, “My husband left his trident in your husband.”

Maybe some jewelry, so my hands will look good when I do thumbs-down at the end of a match.  

And a purse, so I have chariot money in case Marcus gets the old mace in the face someday, if you catch my drift. You know, the old lance in the pants? The old dagger in the gagger? I mean, it’s amazing he’s lasted this long.

I’m touched by your wifely concern. Have a look at these pictures from a current fashion show. By the way, I guess you must get sick of people asking Marcus if he’s going to bring the old battle ax to the Colosseum, huh?

Related post: Fifth floor, medieval accessories

Model displays a creation during Burberry Prorsum’s Fall/Winter 2008/09 women’s show at Milan Fashion Week February 18, 2008. REUTERS/Max Rossi

More stuff from Oddly Enough