Once again the fashion industry takes a turn for the practical, offering up this outfit perfectly suited for a wide range of occasions, whether you’re representing deadbeats in tax court, walking your ferret, flying in your gyrocopter, or just enjoying an evening of miniature golf.

My only problem is, in spite of being a longtime observer of the haute couture scene, sometimes they hit me with confusing new articles of clothing, like that uni-sleeve deal a few weeks ago.

I’m not quite sure what to call that piece of jewelry hanging from this model’s waist. It’s like, you know, a necklace that slid down, or like a really heavy belt, and frankly I’m not completely sure she is even wearing it in the right place. So if you happen to own one, can you please check the box it came in and see what they call it?

More Oddly Enough Blog

A model displays a creation by Spanish designer Francisco Montesinos during the Spring/Summer 2007-08 Pasarela Cibeles fashion show in Madrid September 17, 2007 REUTERS/Susana Vera

As Marilyn Monroe put it so well in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, upon seeing her first tiara, ”I just LOVE finding new places to wear diamonds.”

Well, it turns out some people are better at wearing jewelry than others, which I guess is why there’s actually a Best Jewelry Wearer competition, in Japan.

The awards are presented to “celebrities and famous personalities with either an outstanding fashion sensibility in jewelry, or a brilliant record of achievement,” and there are categories and everything.  

Anyway, as you can see from this photo of one of the winners, the competition is tough - you need to think of lots of new places to jam gems, like fingernails and knuckles, if you want to walk away with the big prize.  I suggest you start practicing now for next year’s contest.

Oddly Enough Blog:

Japanese singer Kumi Koda  receives a necklace at the best jewelry wearer award ceremony during the 18th International Jewellery Tokyo 2007 fair in Tokyo January 24, 2007.   REUTERS/Kim Kyung-Hoon

Okay, you’re a carpenter in India. You steal a million bucks worth of diamonds from a jewelry shop you’re working on, and the last thing you want to do is attract suspicion.

So naturally, you sell some of the diamonds, get drunk, go to a dance bar and tip the band lavishly to play the same song, over and over and over. You have them play the Bollywood song Humko Deewana Kar Gaye repeatedly, not for one night, not for two, but for three nights.

Oh, and while you’re at it, make sure a police informer is hanging out at the same bar, and that you’re carrying $67,000 worth of the diamonds with you when the cops pick you up. Here is the story:

Stars of Humko Deewana Kar Gaye: Actress Katrina Kaif performs with Akshay Kumar at the 7th International Indian Film Academy awards in Dubai June 16, 2006. REUTERS/Jack Dabaghian

It turns out a new study suggests that women dress to impress when they are at their most fertile. The study, of young college women, showed they frequently wore more fashionable or flashier clothing and jewelry when they were ovulating.   

A model presents this creation by Lebanese designer Elie Saab during his Spring/Summer 2007 ready-to-wear fashion collection in Paris October 8, 2006. REUTERS/Charles Platiau   

For those of you who have always wanted to be just like Cher - and I don’t want to know who you are or how you found this blog - this is the event you’ve been waiting for.

In early October, the singer is holding a gigantic global garage sale, getting rid of 800 items, from stage costumes to gem encrusted jewelry, works of art, furniture and even a Hummer. 

Among the items being auctioned off are many pieces from Cher’s Malibu home. According to one of the people organizing the auction, the singer is redecorating, and getting rid of her gothic revival items.  Hmmmmm. And what will replace that style? Cher will be “going for a Moroccan-Tibetan look,” according to our story: 

This could be you… Cher performs in Toronto, October 31, 2003. REUTERS/Mike Cassese

Remember what Marilyn Monroe’ character said when she was shown a tiara in the movie “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”?  “You DO wear it on your head. I just LOVE finding new places to wear diamonds!”  Well, looks like some women feel the same way about pearls.  Feel free to come up with your own caption and blast it to us via Post a Comment.                                                                       

A model wears a creation from Lucy in the sky ’s 2007 spring/summer collection during the Fashion Rio Show in Rio de Janeiro June 7, 2006. REUTERS/Bruno Domingos