Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Nov 21, 2011 06:02 EST

Which job would you choose?

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Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I have a dead-end job selling lunch meat door-to-door, and I’m looking for something different.

Hmmmm. Are you willing to relocate overseas? Do you enjoy working outdoors and getting a little exercise on the job?

You betcha! I’m not really a morning person. Evening work suits me best.

Then I may have your dream job. You should consider being one of the 44 people employed to kill rats at night in Mumbai, like these guys in the pictures.

OMG I think I’m going to barf! How do they kill them?

The caption says they use an “improvised stick,” whatever that is. Personally, if I had to show up night after night to beat rats to death, I think I’d bring a real stick, but maybe that’s just me.

COMMENT

@Moonshine, ok then. I am not familiar with White Plains so I will take your word for that. I will believe though that it is more pleasant than the city.

Posted by iflydaplanes | Report as abusive
Nov 20, 2011 07:12 EST

Hire me! I can be a better vetter!

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Hey Blog Guy, I don’t get out very much. Can you explain what these guys in this picture are doing?

Yes, the caption says they’re vetting dancers before the opening of an Erotica show.

Excuse me? They’re doing what?

You know, they’re watching exotic dancers, to make sure the audience won’t go blind or spontaneously combust or anything like that.

That’s an actual JOB?

Sure, but Exotic Dance Vetting is tougher than it looks, because the minute the vetter seems to be enjoying it, he’s fired.

COMMENT

So these are the dudes responsible for all the salmon bars, huh? Shame on them.

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive
Oct 7, 2011 09:57 EDT

Lemme just hack away at this gizmo…

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Blog Guy, I’m looking for a new career and I know your advice is the best. I picked up a colorful brochure called, “The Exciting World of Battlefield Rocket Repair,” and I was wondering if you think that’s a good way to go?

That brochure is really making the rounds, isn’t it? I hear from lots of young people, captivated by the opening lines, “Hey, have you always wanted to see Libya?”

So, what do you think? Would I need to learn to use a lot of complicated tools?

Not really. You can see this guy in the photo working on a sophisticated Grad rocket, and he’s just using a knife.

Yikes! Using a knife on a Grad rocket? That seems pretty dangerous!

Hey, there are worse jobs than his.

COMMENT

uncarastus, agreed. ifly FTW.

Did anyone notice that the two gentlemen in the background of Pic 1 must have switched hats?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive
Sep 26, 2011 07:05 EDT

I’ve got all your spam, Ronald!

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Believe it or not, I’ve found something even more irritating than getting spam.

Getting SOMEBODY ELSE’S spam.

Just when I thought unwanted e-mails couldn’t get any stupider, along come some spammers mistaking me for a guy named RONALD Basler. The actual screen grab above shows just a small sampling of the offers Ronald is getting at my e-mail address.

Judging from Ronald’s spam, which I presume is carefully targeted to his personal needs, he may be going through some hard times.

Ronald gets frequent offers of depression treatments, along with information about how the stimulus package can help him cllimb out of debt. Gosh, it even looks like his roof leaks and his oil needs changing.

I gather Ronald is looking for a new job, and there are opportunities for him as a nurse, an ultrasound technician, a school counselor and a pharmacy assistant.

COMMENT

spam sculpting! This one is my fav. I love the Velveeta baby Jesus ;)

http://lliissaa.com/2007/12/spam-nativit y-fusion-awesome/spanger-small-2/

everybody sing: Away in a spanger, no crib for a bed

Posted by GeorgiaPeach | Report as abusive
Aug 17, 2011 06:57 EDT

Earn big bucks without knowing anything!

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I swear, I don’t know why I keep getting suckered by these lame “list” stories. For instance, Ten Jobs that Don’t Require a Degree.

Please, let me save you the trouble of reading it. Basically, these are 10 jobs that may not require a college degree, but to get them you have to take really crappy entry-level jobs and work your way up, if you live long enough.

Still interested? I will hit the highlights. It says here you can be the captain of a commercial ship, enjoying “long hours of isolation or dangerous conditions.” After sugar-coating the job like that, the story says you don’t get to be a captain right away. No, you have to start as a deckhand.

I’m sure being a professional deckhand is a real chick-magnet, but I’m not settling for the first job on the list.

Let’s see. I can be a manager in the highly respected gaming industry. But it turns out there are only 6,900 jobs in the whole country, and you have to begin as a dealer, “one of the worst-paying jobs in the country.”

Not interested in helping people lose their life savings at blackjack? No problem. Next on the list is police detective, a job they describe as having “one of the highest rates of on-the-job injury and illness.” Cool!

COMMENT

Damn, Crow, you’re way too clever! You’ve already figured out the competition is never won by somebody who shows up….

Posted by rcbasler | Report as abusive
Jul 19, 2011 08:49 EDT

Oh honey, I’m home!

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Blog Guy, you used to offer useful tips on how people can tell if they’ve made a bad career choice. Can you please do some more of those?

Sure. Here’s one career test that many young professionals overlook until it is too late.

Look at yourself in a full-length mirror. If all you can see are bees crawling over every inch of your face and body, you may have chosen poorly on career day.

I was afraid of that, Blog Guy. That’s exactly what I see. But at least I am wearing swimming goggles and I have some sort of cigarette filters jammed in my nose.

I’m afraid that doesn’t change the fact that you wear bees for a living.

But the job sounded so glamorous! How was I to know?

COMMENT

Spin, atta’boy’. :) Can one say attagirl?

Posted by Malteser | Report as abusive
Jun 30, 2011 06:19 EDT

The easiest job on earth?

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Blog Guy, I’ve just graduated from college, and I would like some of your famous career advice. Can you help me?

If it doesn’t take too long. What are you looking for?

I want the easiest job on earth. Let me make it clear. I want to live someplace wonderful, and have a job that takes no energy whatsoever. I want a job I couldn’t possibly screw up if I tried.

I’m sorry, you can’t have my job. However, I’ve searched the world and found something right up your lazy alley. How about being the Italian Tourism Minister?

You’re sure that’s easy enough?

Here’s the thing. Italy is probably the greatest place on earth outside the U.S. It’s beautiful, the people are charming, it has art, history, religion, fashion, culture, majestic views, beaches, and the food and wine are to die for.

COMMENT

The first picture is goofy face material, that or a face of haughty clearly proving fwd’s thoughts on hot chics :D

Posted by antb | Report as abusive
Jun 23, 2011 07:11 EDT

Sit, Spot, it’s time for our conference call!

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Regular readers know I seldom volunteer my personal opinions, which tend to be uninformed and moronic.

But just this once, I’m going to support a good idea that is coming up very soon.

Tomorrow is “Take Your Dog to Work” day. I’d rather work in an environment with dogs than in a dogless one, any day.

Oh, I’m not saying it’s the right move for everyone. If you plan on confronting riot police, you may want to leave the dog at home.

The same probably holds true if  you’re a brain surgeon, opera singer, test pilot, Mafia hit man or air traffic controller.

If your daily job involves rescuing disaster victims, helping folks with disabilities or generally making our world a safer and better place, then working with dogs may be something you already do every day.

COMMENT

I looooooove my dog.. we named him Flint coz he has the colouring of a flintstone… though he is as crazy as the Yabba-Daba-Doo!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive
Jun 1, 2011 07:07 EDT

We can fix up this grenade, good as new!

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Blog Guy, I’m a recent college graduate who needs career advice. I picked up a colorful brochure entitled “The Exciting Field of Refurbishing Rocket-Propelled Grenades,” and I wondered if I should look into that.

A lot of grads are asking me that these days. It looks like RPG Refurbishment is attracting entry-level folks at a rapid pace.

Kids, I know the brochures make it seem really glamorous, but I just can’t recommend this career path.

Sure, the black rubber gloves look cool, but you have to ask yourself why this man’s boss has located his office behind 450 massive truck tires.

You see, RPGs are designed to be used once. Any effort to repair them and reload them with what we call “high explosives” invalidates the warranty.

But Blog Guy, in the brochure the man gets to work sitting down, which is important to me!

COMMENT

@CG – I’m with you there. Rocket in one holder, HE and fuse in the other. Lamar was earning his pay taking these pictures.

Where do I sign up?

Posted by Dave_not_dave | Report as abusive
Apr 8, 2011 09:15 EDT

Can I pull the plug during a shutdown?

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Blog Guy, this federal government shutdown has me really worried. I had hoped to get rid of my do-nothing son-in-law, but I wonder if those Government Death Panels will be answering their phones.

Not to worry. Essential services like the military, airport security and Death Panels will continue to operate.

Death Panels are considered essential services?

You bet. We can’t have people living longer than they’re supposed to, can we?

No, I guess not, but how will they get paid?

That’s not a problem. The Death Panels work largely on tips.

COMMENT

White Hat Conspiracy!!!!!
And I like that mask in the second pic…
Spin, OFCOURSE, Eugene would win!!!

Posted by Shra | Report as abusive