Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I’m hoping I can get some of your famous job-hunting advice. I’m a guy who likes to ride motorcycles.
Ah. Any other skills?
Well, normally I wouldn’t have much to offer someone with your, um, limited qualifications.
However, I just saw this photo, and the caption says these are bikers undressing models during a lingerie fashion show in Lebanon. Does that appeal to you?
Hmmmm. Lebanon is over there in Europe or someplace, right?
I think so. You could check a map. Is there some part of the job description you aren’t clear on? Let me just repeat it: “Bikers undress models…”
From Romania comes news that the government has proposed a law under which people who practice witchcraft can be fined or even imprisoned if their predictions do not come true. I am NOT making this up.
Now, let’s set aside the fact that such a law seems more appropriate for fortune-tellers than for witches. Maybe job distinctions overlap over there. But whatever predictions they do make are suddenly going to be a LOT less specific…
Quick quiz: The bewildered and confused young women seen here…
a) just can’t understand why they had to get up at noon on a Friday.
b) have just been asked if World War I was fought before or after World War II.
c) have been told they’ve won a dinner date with somebody named Lamar, and they are wary.
d) are actually fashion models, getting “instructions” about the complicated process of walking down a runway, turning around and walking back.
Blog Guy, you’ve done a great job of reporting on those Government Death Panels, but how about doing sort of a behind-the-scenes look at their job?
That’s a great idea. We sent a photographer to one of their branch offices, in Nevada, to watch them get ready for a busy day of putting folks out of their misery.
Blog Guy, we’re a whole month into 2011 and you haven’t spotted any new signs of that onrushing Apocalypse. Does that mean we’re out of the woods?
Far from it. I’ve just seen a very serious sign, but it’s so disturbing I’m still in shock.
Blog Guy, my daughter just got a degree in creative writing and film studies. Any suggestions for a job?
Sure. Increasingly, people in nice big houses are hiring human door knockers to hang on their front doors, as kind of a status thing. You get to work with people and be outdoors.
Blog Guy, can I work for your blog in some capacity?
You could be an interim intern.
May I ask some questions about the work?
Yes, I will answer your interim intern questions in turn.
What if you catch me stealing?
We will intern you. You will be an interned intern.
What if I stop moving while I’m interned?
If you’re inert, we will inter you.
Really? You inter inert interned interim interns?
Sure. Does interim interning interest you?
What sort of work is it?
Internet research. It’s an interim intern Internet job, unless you become an interred inert interned interim Internet intern.
I’ll take it. Who do you want me to do research on?
Pinter. Its an interim intern Pinter Internet job….
Left: Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky in a 1997 file photo. REUTERS/Defense Department/Handout
Blog Guy, I know you’re an expert on military tactics and strategies. What do you think is the most effective fighting force in the world today?
That would be China’s feared Commando-Style Commandos.
I’ve never heard of them. Are they lean and mean?
No, more like lewd and nude. They operate stark-naked, creating diversions to help the regular troops.
Blog Guy, my doctor sent me to you for some career advice. I need a job that works with some, uh, small quirks I have.
Quirks? Well, your timing is good. I was just thumbing through a glossy brochure called “Your Future in Hippopotamus Hygiene.”