Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Oh no no no I’m a rocket man…

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MYANMAR-ELECTION/THAILAND

Blog Guy, my college career counselor sent me to you. He said you keep tabs on the most interesting and unusual new jobs out there, and I definitely want to try something different.

Glad to help. I was just reading an online recruiting ad for door-to-door RPG salesmen. The pay is good, and that sales sampler you carry on your back is a chick magnet.

rocket sales crop 260Wait, Blog Guy. You actually go door-to-door selling those rocket propelled grenades like we see in news clips from Afghanistan? Is that even legal here?

It is in Arkansas, parts of Texas, and certain neighborhoods in Detroit. If you own a home near a noisy fraternity house or a karaoke bar, these little babies practically sell themselves.

It’s lard work, but someone has to do it…

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junk food obama top 490

Blog Guy, I enjoyed your report a few days ago about President Obama eating doughnuts.

junk food obama combo 220How does that work? Does he just walk along and suddenly say, “I’d really like to clog my arteries with a load o’ fried dough about now!” and then they scramble to find a bakery for him?

Nothing could be finer than be waiting for a rhiner….

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Blog Guy, you’re famous for your career advice, especially about jobs that should be avoided. I’m going through brochures now looking for something suitable, and wondered if there is anything new I should be wary of.

KENYA/

Yeah. No matter what the brochures say, avoid being a “Great Big Rhinoceros Catcher.”

Grads, harness your naked ambition!

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Blog Guy, I graduated from college in June and I’m looking for a job. Everybody knows you give great career advice, so I’m open to suggestions.

Let me help you. Tell me what you studied in school.

CHINA/

I had a double major, creative writing and film studies…

Wow, and you’re STILL unemployed? Are you willing to pull your own weight? Do you enjoy working outdoors near the water?

The glamorous world of foreign hernias

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BELARUS/

Blog Guy, thanks for the useful career advice for us recent grads. I have a batch of glossy brochures for promising careers overseas, and I’m hoping you can help me narrow my search.

Here’s one from a place called Ukraine, entitled, “The Thrilling World of Tire Delivery!”

Okay, make a wish!

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INDIA-ECONOMY/

Blog Guy, you occasionally offer advice on jobs we should stay away from, and I wondered if you’ve seen anything recently.

Yes. This photo illustrates a very good example of a field not to pursue if you can avoid it.

Thanks for auditioning, we’ll call you…

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RUSSIA/

Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice.¬† I’m a dancer looking for work. Whenever I say I’m a dancer, people think I mean stripper.

RUSSIA/Yeah, that’s a common problem. I notice the same thing when I tell people I’m a blogger. What can I do for you?

What happened to your neck, Blog Guy?

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Blog Guy, I read a Reuters story about proper attire for the office, and it’s kind of confusing. Like whether your boss lets you wear shorts and flip-flops, and stuff like that. Can you tell us about the dress code for your office?

lucky dog 180Well, I write my blog from my own home, so that’s very different. If my boss were to walk through my door on a surprise visit here I could just shoot him with a taser, no questions asked.

Pull up your socks, Dobbin!

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COLOMBIA/

Blog Guy, I’m a recent college graduate and I need¬† your help finding a suitable career. My mom got me a colorful brochure called “The Exciting World of Putting Socks on Horses,” and I wondered what you think of that career path.

Forget it. Listen to me. How long have you known about horseshoes?

horse socks 240All my life, why?

And how long have you known about horse SOCKS?

Um, about ten minutes, just since I got the brochures.

Right. So if you don’t know about ‘em, horses don’t know about ‘em, and they do not adapt quickly to new articles of clothing.

We do have some job openings, Lamar

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ASIA-WEATHER/

Mr. Johnson, it’s me. They told me I had to show up in person at the employment office to prove I’m willing to take work. So here I am, what do you have for me?

Ah. Let’s see here, Lamar, we have several slots for workers who can put large stones into bags, lug them out into a raging river and hurl them to reinforce some dikes in a flood.