Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

It’s all just food to him…

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PHILIPPINES/

Blog Guy, I just graduated from college and I’m looking for a job. A recruiter sent me a glossy brochure called “The Exciting World of Feeding Giant Reptiles,” and I wondered what you know about opportunities in that field.

croc crop 240Several recent grads have asked me the same thing. I’ve seen that brochure, with the folksy quotes from such legendary reptile feeders as Stumpy, Lefty and Elbow Willie.

While I understand the attraction of being able to put your hand in a blue plastic bucket of raw meat anytime you want, I just can’t recommend this career path.

The thing is, research is still being done on the subject of how far out of the water large crocodiles can leap, and there are indications that many of them have been holding back, if you catch my drift.

Your feet smell like rotting corpses, Ed!

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I see we have a story offering etiquette tips on how to dress for the office during the summer. This helps me a lot, because my “office” is in my home. My coworkers are two dogs and two cats, so I’m afraid my dress code may be slipping as the heat rolls in. I need some good advice.

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“Sandals are iffy for men. Be sure your feet look and smell appropriate for business…”

Flying high with my secret career…

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The crew of a Basler BT-67 fixed wing aircraft releases oil dispersant over an oil discharge from the mobile offshore drilling unit, Deepwater Horizon, off the shore of Louisiana, in this May 5, 2010 photograph. REUTERS/Stephen Lehmann/U.S. Coast Guard/handout

Blog Guy! You won’t BELIEVE what I just saw! There was a picture of an airplane helping clean up after that oil accident in Louisiana, and the caption said it was a….

Is this the best job on earth, or what?

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HUNGARY

Blog Guy, it seems like mostly you write about jobs to avoid. How about some positive career advice? Aren’t there any GREAT jobs out there?

You bet, and here I’m talking especially to you men. Every major fashion show employs a Chest Checker, and if you can score one of these jobs, you’re set for life.

Is that a frosty mug I see before me?

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All you people who think I make up everything in this blog, check it out.

A real story, and much better than anything I could invent.

S&N/It turns out that over there in Denmark, several hundred employees at the Carlsberg brewery have stopped work for a couple of days to protest a company decision to limit beer drinking at work to lunch breaks.

I’ll let that sink in for minute. Some of  the workers are cheesed-off because they can ONLY drink at lunch, instead of whenever they want, like they used to.

Hey, from the back you could be the pope!

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Hey, Blog Guy! It’s me, that aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring…

You say mentoring, I say avoiding… What do you need to know today about the exciting field of news photography?

Shay, can I get more of thish water?

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Lamar, where are you? I know you’re in this storage room, I saw you come in.

hillary glass face crop 240There you are. My God, you’re drunk! Here’s a liter of 100-proof vodka, and it’s almost empty!

The adventures of Hillary and Michelle

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“Funny story, Hillary. Yesterday I found a secret stash in one of the White House cabinets that they said hadn’t been used since you and Bill lived there….

“I mean, this was some twisted stuff! I’m talking about a 1.75 liter bottle of creme de menthe, an old VHS set of the entire “Yogi Bear” cartoon series, an ‘I’M WITH STUPID’ t-shirt, a case of Hostess Twinkies…”

Ten jobs you’ll avoid if you’re smart

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A reader writes, “Bob, I’m looking for a career, but I get bored reading all the fine print in online job postings. Are there any shortcuts?”

jobs combo 200 this oneWell sure. What you do is set up a filter so that job descriptions containing certain words or phrases just don’t show up at all, thus freeing up much more of your time for watching “Starsky and Hutch” reruns. The trick is to block just the right stuff, so use my list, which is based on years of career advice.

Roy, hand me that user’s manual for a sec!

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Blog Guy, whatever happened to those fantasy photos you used to set up at the request of your readers?

jackhammer crop 200I still do them, but they have to be really challenging or they just don’t interest me. Make it good.