Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
I say, my good man, are you the local fishmonger?
Well, I must say, there is a vile odor here!
You smelt something bad? Say, did you come to carp, or are you here just for the halibut? Get it? Halibut? I got a million of ‘em!
One gathers you must be some sort of village simpleton, laughing at jokes such as those.
You could be right, your majesty. I’ll mullet over.
Now see here! I am growing very angry!
I’m not doing it on porpoise, your highness. It’s probably just your minnow-pause.
Um, Blog Guy, you write about fashion real good. We are two very famous designers, and we would like to have you cover our new clothes and stuff. Okay?
Sure. If you’re really big designers, I’ll see your creations at one of the big international shows.
Blog Guy, my daughter just got a degree in creative writing and film studies. Any suggestions for a job?
Sure. Increasingly, people in nice big houses are hiring human door knockers to hang on their front doors, as kind of a status thing. You get to work with people and be outdoors.
Blog Guy, you strike me as a guy who would like practical jokes.
No way. Too many of those things are cruel, sick, mean-spirited and make me cringe.
Oh come on, I can tell from the humor in your blog, you’ve contemplated some pretty funny tricks on your fellow man, even if you never went through with them.
Hey, Blog Guy, I’ve been looking at your photo file. You just had a shot of China’s President Hu Jintao, in Shenzhen.
Yes, Hu! He was near Macau, where that snooker player is from.
That’s him! Si Tau Chong Wut. And while Hu was in Shenzhen, China’s premier was in Tianjin.
Your timing is perfect. The International Self-Pranking Olympics are now underway in Germany. All those cruel, thoughtless practical jokes that dumbasses usually pull on other people, they do to themselves at these Olympics.
Pay attention, Earl, this is goin’ down as my very best practical joke ever!Now just picture it. All these troops will be looking left, see, watching for the president to arrive. So I’m gonna stretch a shin-high rope in front of their legs!Then, see, when they take a step forward with their UNLOADED rifles to present arms, they’ll all go stumbling and sprawling! They’ll be SO pissed-off!Get outta here, Earl, here comes the president now!What? Their guns ARE loaded? Fully-automatic, huh? Magnum what?
A soldier lines up a rope for guard of honor members before Hungary’s President Laszlo Solyom arrives for a two day long official visit in Brdo, Slovenia, October 8, 2009. REUTERS/Srdjan Zivulovic
Okay comrades, it was partly my idea to send a billionaire Canadian jokester into space to make us a few extra rubles. Now, just two days into the flight, I admit it was a horrible mistake.
You know what I’m talking about. One of you printed up some “books” with that Microsoft Wingdings font, and told the models there would be a “test” after the show!