Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Johnson, you call yourself a news photographer? Just a few days ago we had that fiasco with the political shots in Germany, and now this?
What on EARTH is this photo you turned in from the Wimbledon tennis championships?
Oh. Yeah, Boss, I can explain that. There was an unexpected solar eclipse.
Johnson, they don’t have unexpected eclipses, and there wasn’t one yesterday!
Right. I was being artistic, Boss. I thought it would be real interesting to show how the match looks to somebody who is wearing a burqa. You know, one of those head-to-toe veils?
Blog Guy, I really envy you working journalists. I just saw a picture of the view from the press center at that G20 Summit up in Toronto, and it’s gorgeous! A waterfall and a lake? How do you get any work done?
Well first, I don’t ever get much work done. And second, if you take a look at a wider angle you’ll see that this is just a still photo projected on a big-screen television at the press center. The “lake” is a shallow indoor pool surrounded by canoes and Adirondack chairs.
Johnson! Get your butt in here! You call yourself a photojournalist?
What’s wrong, Boss?
I sent you out to get photos of Bavarian State Premier Horst Seehofer, right?
And you come back with one shot of him blocked by somebody else, and another snap that looks like his fricking finger is jammed up his nose!
Oh, sorry Boss, we all had a bet about who could come up with the goofiest shots of the guy. I won.
Blog Guy, it’s me, that aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring.
Oh cripes, what now? I thought I lost you in the crowd!
Nope, your Afro wig and handlebar mustache are obvious fakes. Look, I just shot my first fashion show, and I wondered if you could critique my….
Hi Blog Guy, it’s me! The aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring. Looks like you’ve got me for another semester!
Cripes. What do you want now?
Well, I have kind of a devious question. Let’s say I’m shooting a politician, but I want a very, very subtle way to make him look good, so readers will form a subliminal positive opinion.
Blog Guy, I am, how you say, studying English as second language…
WELCOME TO OUR COUNTRY, FOREIGN PERSON!
Thank you for shouting, that really helps. I wonder, can you explain this word, “pathetic?” I do not think I understand it.
I’ll try. Look, there is this business tycoon in Austria, and he has so much money that every year he is able to invite a somewhat famous and reasonably good-looking female celebrity as his guest at the glitzy Vienna Opera Ball.
Memo to Photo Editor: I’ve come up with a great scheme to cut down on costs associated with shooting big events like for example auto shows.
Most of these venues have at least one or two unguarded rafter windows or skylights, so our photographers could just shoot through them from a distance instead of buying expensive tickets to get through the doors.
Dammit Johnson, we’ll make a photojournalist out of you yet! You finally did something right!
I did, Boss?
Sure. When I sent you out to shoot the Business Secretary yesterday I didn’t dream you’d manage to get so many shots of him eating an apple.
Hey Blog Guy, a couple of days ago we were talking about the universal appeal of driveway shots when a big story breaks. You were kind enough to show us Brittany Murphy’s driveway. I see that radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh was hospitalized in Hawaii, so naturally….
Say no more, stranger. Here’s an actual shot of the emergency entrance of the medical center, and another of a security guard at the emergency entrance. Oh, and a police car leaving the entrance, too.
Blog Guy, it’s me, the aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring! You’ll never guess what! I’m at the WHITE HOUSE, doing a trial assignment. I’m so excited, I can’t…
Oh wait, Blog Guy, there goes President Obama’s personal assistant, Reggie Love, loaded down with packages and stuff. I’m gonna run across the lawn and help him open the door before he drops something.