Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Who WAS that masked man?

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Dammit Johnson, you call yourself a NEWS photographer? I send you out to shoot a government official at a press conference, and THIS is what  you come back with? Half his face is missing!

Sorry Boss, but there are problems with his mouth…

Oh? He doesn’t have one?

Yes, he has one, but I believe his lips are covered in giant cold sores, and he has a purple rash all over his chin, and, uh, most of his teeth are either missing or rotten, and his gums…

I’m not INTERESTED in  the man’s oral problems, Johnson! So this is the only photo you got of his face?

No, of course not, Boss. I got this one on the left, too…

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Ireland’s Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern addresses the media in Dublin, November 26, 2009. REUTERS/Cathal McNaughton

Have fun, will travel…

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Blog Guy, I just read a great Travel and Leisure magazine article titled “Top Travel Websites of 2009,” and do you KNOW what I found?

Yes. My blog is mentioned there, and by the magazine’s Executive Editor, no less.

Show us your squeegee, Luigi!

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Hi, Blog Guy, it’s me! That aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring. I’m back!

Oh good. And after I shaved my head and pierced my lip so you wouldn’t recognize me. What now?

Get your butt off my train!

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Blog Guy, help me out here. Is there one person who is for sure the stupidest human being on the face of the earth? You can take some time to answer if you like.

I don’t need time. It’s the guy in our story today, who mooned railway staffers who were in a departing train.

Flossing, brushing threaten false teeth sales…

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Please don’t let me be the only one who thinks this is ironic.

I’m reading financial stories this week, and suddenly I see this headline: “Credit limits, self-discipline threaten holiday sales.” Did I wander onto The Onion site?

I swear I’m not making this up. Damn you, self-discipline! Damn you, credit limits!

She forced herself into the shot?

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Dammit Johnson, you call yourself a NEWS photographer? I assign you to get a weather shot showing how blue the sky is today, and you come back with some lady blocking part of the view! What’s your problem?

Sorry, Boss, but she’s the Chancellor! She stuck her face in and I couldn’t get rid of her. I got as little of her as possible. There’s not even a hint that her face has a left side.

Boy, we sure need one of these!

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Blog Guy, as someone who is interested in government, I’m wondering if you can find me a photo of President Barack Obama and his whole cabinet together.

Heck, I can find you an OFFICIAL one! Here is an OFFICIAL photo of Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and the whole cabinet, taken just a few days ago.

We demand his full Jackass List!

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In the past, I have solemnly vowed to my readers that they will never learn anything from this blog, and that though they search the entire blogosphere, they will never find anything less relevant.

So imagine my embarrassment now that bloggers are writing about whether President Barack Obama called that jackass Kanye West a jackass.

Did you SEE that dude hit the cement?

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I have trouble figuring out why some things are news. Readers know I’m confused about why we keep shooting identical photos of Madonna and her car in dozens of cities, as though we’ve never seen it before.

Then there’s this French so-called “daredevil” who climbs skyscrapers all over the world. Today he climbed a Petronas tower in Malaysia and was taken into police custody, which usually happens. Then, a couple of weeks later, he’s at it again, scaling a building somewhere else, only to wind up in custody again.

All I have to do is show up?

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Blog Guy, how can I get Reuters to take my picture? I imagine I’d have to do something VERY newsworthy.

Not really. All you have to do is put on silly outfits and go from city to city like that butthead British actor whose name I’m not going to mention. We’ll take your picture everywhere you go and put out 46 pictures in two weeks, and it probably isn’t over yet.