Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Mystery brunette with Prince William?

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Blog Guy, I’m confused. I was walking past a toy shop in London and I saw a doll that looked like Prince William.

He was packaged with a female doll dressed as a bride. She looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place her.

Ah, she looks like that Hollywood actress, Minnie Driver.

Jeez, Blog Guy, doesn’t it seem strange to sell Prince William and Minnie Driver dolls together, like they’re a couple.

I guess maybe he used to go out with her before his recent marriage. Wait. On closer inspection of those dolls, I’m not sure that’s Prince William at all! It may be Moose, from the Archie Comics.

William, what year is it here?

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Blog Guy, I’ve been reading your stories about Britain’s Prince William and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, and their visit to Canada. With her incredible fashion sense, I’m guessing she must really be dazzling those Canadians.

Well, they don’t quite know what to make of her modern outfits, since your typical Canadian still dresses kind of turn-of-the-century.

Cooking with Catherine: The Barefoot Duchess?

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Blog Guy, thanks for finally giving us some coverage of William and Catherine’s royal tour of Canada. We want more!

Well, Catherine did a cooking workshop at the Institut de tourisme et d’hotellerie du Quebec, in Montreal.

We’ve got fresh Kate, direct from Canada!

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Blog Guy, I have a complaint. Kate Middleton has been in Canada for several days now and you’ve written nothing about it, even though some of your readers are seriously addicted to her.

Look, I no longer actually cover stories, but I’m a professional, so I can wing it by looking at our photo file. Here you go.

Could this be how they tracked Osama?

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Blog Guy, you’re the only one I trust to come up with the real story on how they got Osama bin Laden. There has to be more to it than merely a decade of meticulous hard work by the military and intelligence agencies.

I can’t talk about it. It’s too sensitive.

Come on, Blog Guy. Look, I wouldn’t be online if I couldn’t keep a secret, and we’ve already established that it’s safe to put it in your blog, since nobody looks here.

There’s got to be a morning after…

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Blog Guy, it’s me again. That guy you got hooked on Kate Middleton pictures. What do you have for me today?

Are you serious? We gave you 62,000 photos of her yesterday. Give the woman some peace. Give me some peace, too.

That’s what a royal wedding looks like

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Okay, I know when I’ve lost. I had planned to avoid doing anything on the Big Event today because why should my blog look like all the rest?

But many readers have said they couldn’t find stuff about the wedding anywhere else, and they’ve begged me for fresh pictures and details, so I guess I’ll have to pander just a bit.

If you run out of REAL wedding news…

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Blog Guy, that royal wedding is getting really close now, so how about some more of your expertise? I believe you mentioned a royal carriage would be used for Prince William and Kate?

Absolutely, and here you can see the regal vehicle, with the royal couple riding around in it for practice.

In a jam with the royal ma’am?

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Blog Guy, you have to help me. That royal wedding is in two days, and I don’t know how to act around the queen! Our invite hasn’t arrived yet, but we live in rural Indiana, and mail takes a while to get here.

Um, could you even get from Indiana to England in time?

I think we could if we went first class, which I believe goes faster.

Ah, of course. Well, you’re in luck. We’ve just run yet another etiquette piece, specifically advising lower class losers on how to behave around royalty.

Unstabled threat at royal wedding?

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BRITAIN-WEDDING/

So Blog Guy, I don’t understand why you’re devoting so much time to that wedding with Kate Middleton and that guy she’s marrying. It doesn’t seem like your kind of thing.

BRITAIN/It wasn’t, but now it is. Let’s just say maybe I think it’s going to be more eventful than some folks expect.