Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
The last huzzah?
So this is the end. The last post for this blog.
It’s a good thing we’ve said our farewells, because this is also the last day for new comments.
Today, this site freezes in time. You can always revisit it for a little nostalgia, like that old amusement park in the creepy part of town, with all the chains and cobwebs.
Former presidential candidate Herman Cain was fond of telling his supporters, “Stupid people are ruining America!”
Well, maybe that’s true, Herman, but stupid people also provide cheap entertainment, which is a useful service. We should thank them for it, without using any big words.
My readers, my commenters, my friends, you are the best. You can find me on Facebook. Some of you have even found me in person, so please remember I know how to get restraining orders.
Nine things I’ll miss most about this blog
Let’s get the sad news out of the way first.
After an exhilarating five-year run, this blog is ending its run here. Websites change, and take new directions.
The slightly better news is that we have a couple of weeks until my final post, so let’s have fun.
I’ve enjoyed everything about creating and writing Oddly Enough. My advice is, if somebody offers to pay you to be a sarcastic smartass, take the job. Especially if it includes dental insurance.
Some of the things I will miss most…
9. The Photos: The Reuters photo file is a grand candy store. It has been a treat to look through it daily, searching for goofy gems in a sea of serious images. I’m sure it’s fair to say many of the shots in my blog don’t get used anyplace else. Indeed, it was the richness of our photo archive that inspired the blog’s fabled Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, which will be a runaway success if it ever opens.
I’ve never commented in the 2 years I’ve read the blog because I’m quite certain I could never hang with the rest of everyone. I thank you all but especially The Blog Guy… But I’m pretty sure my neighbors and students hate you 
Of the thousands of things they blocked at school, y’all never made the cut.
thank you again and again. Have fun out there on that interweb-wide-machine and keep the shiny side up Mr. Baz.
So I’m not the sexiest man alive?
Boss, you got a minute for a private chat?
I’m kinda depressed. “People Magazine” just announced its “Sexiest Man Alive” choice for this year, and once again, it wasn’t me.
I can see where that would be a blow to somebody with your unusual looks, Lamar. Who got it this time?
Some actor named Bradley Cooper.
It keeps goin’ to guys like George Clooney, Matt Damon, Harrison Ford. Some of them have won twice, and I can’t even get it once.
@Nosmo_King: Recent reports from the Cassini probe have determined that one section of the rings of Saturn consist of lost socks teleported by laundry systems here on Earth. Analysis of other sections include lost pen tops, paper clips, and loose change.
Think she’ll notice if we take her purse?
Lamar, where did you get the models for today’s fashion show?
From my psychiatrist. They’re all in therapy for various things, so they’re happy to have the work.
Therapy? Is it safe to have them here?
Oh sure, Boss, most of the ones with violent tendencies turned down the gig. My shrink says one of these chicks is being treated for narcolepsy.
You mean the excessive urge to sleep at inappropriate times, such as while at work, huh? I bet I can spot that one.
Lamar, the rest of the models aren’t even stopping to help her.
The Runway’s Got Talent!
It’s the same old story, Lamar. We’ve got a major fashion show today, but we can’t afford to pay professional models. You always manage to come through with models on the cheap. Any luck?
Don’t worry, Boss, I got us a good group today, and they’re free.
FREE? Huzzah! But how did you work that?
Oh. Well, they’re under the impression we’re having a reality TV talent show, so they each get to do a little “act” on the runway.
What? What the hell kind of “acts” do they do while modeling our designs, Lamar?
Uh, Tiffany will break out in a little tap dance. It’s very impressive to see in her stiletto heels, Boss.
Ahh… I can’t be on Facebook at work, that’s the problem. 
This train is bound for glory, this train
Whoa! Did you see that, Clancy? Looked like Pope Benedict on that train that just went by!
Nah, it couldn’t have been, Lamar.That’s an express and the Pope takes the local.
Couldn’t he take the express and change to the local at 72nd Street?
Yeah, I guess that would work. Maybe he’s running late this morning, or he’s got a sales call before he hits the office.
I seen him once on the F Train. Real friendly guy.
@Nosmo, hey I see where you went with that one! Well done!
Oh so that’s a window and those are real people Pope is waving to in the second pic? Looked like a TV screen to me. Thought he was watching a re-run of Real Worshipers of Vatican City.
Catching bayonets, what could go wrong?
It’s not that I don’t think you know what you’re doing, but we hired you to spiff up our military honor guard with some great new moves, and I’m just not sure about your plan.
Trust me, I know what I’m doing.
Okay, I’m sorry, what was your name again?
Lamar.
Okay Lamar, so as I understand it, the honor guard marches up, stops, and everybody just hurls their rifles straight into the air, is that it?
That’s it. It’s going to be impressive as hell.
I find themself staring, for at least an hour, transfixed by those yellow ribbons. I guess that’s why the Eighth and I Marines decided not to take me into their midst. Dave, good eye in noticing that the M16s aren’t current. AllthatJazz, what you see doesn’t exclude one in the chamber! For those that are bad tossers. I MEAN rifle throwers!
Get a grip, models!
Lamar, we’ve got another expensive fashion show to put on today, and our label is in the toilet. Have you found any more ways to save money? We just can’t afford a first class runway production.
Relax, Boss, I’m saving us a fortune.
Bless you, Lamar! How did you do it this time?
By not renting backstage dressing rooms for the models. You can’t imagine how much that saves!
Are they okay with that?
Well, they were a little concerned about their personal belongings, what with no lockers for storing their suitcases.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, help me with the bags.
Igor: [Imitating Groucho Marx] Soitenly. You take the blonde, I’ll take the one in the turban.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I was talking about the luggage.
Fashion models, name your poison…
Here we go again, Lamar. We’ve got a major fashion show coming up, and the cost of paying good models would bankrupt us. Have you found a source for bargain-priced chicks, like you usually do?
I sure have, boss. I think you’ll be very happy.
So what’s wrong with this batch, Lamar? Are they zombies, genetic mutations, snake handlers, extremely moody….
Nope, they’re actual professional models and they’re willing to do our show for half price, with just one little, bitty demand. They want to be anonymous.
Why do they insist on that, Lamar?
Oh, I can’t remember their exact quotes, but it’s something about our fashion designs being grotesque, repugnant, appalling, infantile, an affront to womanhood, a putrid puke fest, an assault on the senses…
Well, call me odd, but if that Meshy eye-shade is Lamar’s creation, I quite like it..
This is not good, I know… I am gonna try medi-cheese scones today… extra butter..
Coming soon, the Sound of Stupid…
Blog Guy, I just heard about an exciting project involving your blog. Can you confirm it?
Yes, the last two years of my blog postings are being released as Blogs on Tape, so folks can listen to them in the car, on dates, during court arraignments, whenever.
That’s great! I know it’s important to get the voices right on these audio things. Who are you using?
We assembled a stellar audio team. Actor George Clooney does Blog Guy. Here you can see him cracking up during a recording session, trying to deliver the line, “What do I look like, an ornithologist?” He just loved the material.
Wow, that’s quite a coup! And the all-important voice of your sidekick, Lamar?
That would be Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, seen here playing off of Clooney’s straight lines with his over-the-top wacky rejoinders.
-
Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
-
It’s not pining, it’s passed on. This blog is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late blog. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If they hadn’t nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It’s rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-blog.