Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Welcome to Brassieres 101, ladies…

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USA/

Okay ladies, thank you for coming to the Victoria’s Secret “bra launch” today. We’re sure you will enjoy your new purchases.

bra launch crop 260You were wise to sign up for this class on how to wear a brassiere, a must for any young woman going out into the world.

OUCH! Who did that? Who flung this bra at me with the elastic? See, that’s not what “bra launch” means, ladies!

Let’s start by taking them out of the package, and… Miss, you in the blue dress? It’s going to go in the front, not the back…

And now, for you smarty-pants kids…

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Okay, publishing staff, I’ll tell you why we called this meeting.

Children’s books aren’t selling as well as they used to. We need to retool them a bit for today’s more sophisticated kids, and for the the dads who do the bedtime reading.

ITALY-FASHION/You know, maybe even a tad risqué.

Now, Lamar has been brainstorming this, and he has some ideas for us. Lamar, fill us in….

Buddy, can you hand me some paper?

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AUTOSHOW-GENEVA

Lamar, where the heck are you? I told you to meet me at the Motor Show.

AUTOSHOW-GENEVAI’m here, Boss. I’ll find you in a few minutes. I stopped in the men’s room by the Renault display.

Really? I just went by there and I didn’t see a men’s room.

I’m not surprised, Boss, it turns out in Switzerland they just put the stalls right out in the open. Those crazy Swiss, huh?

Welcome to our model town…

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gown town this 490

(to the tune of Petula Clark’s “Downtown“)

When you want lookers
But you can’t afford hookers
Here’s the place to go, Gown Town

You’ll be a hero
‘Cause they’re all a Size Zero
If you find them in, Gown Town…

Try walking with more Bounce, girls!

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SPAIN/

Hey Sweetie, have you gone to the laundromat yet this week?  I really need some clean underwear.

fashion washing vertical 260Sorry Honey, I haven’t done that. It just creeps me out, now that they’re doing live fashion shows from that place!

Fashion creations to die for?

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fashion napkins this 490

Okay Lamar, business hasn’t picked up at all, so I hope you REALLY saved money on today’s fashion show. We’re just about broke.

fashion ghost 240Don’t worry, Boss, this one is practically a freebie.

Do tell.

For starters, the dress we’re showing was made entirely with 40 starched linen napkins and some super-glue. The  model was a really good sport.

Lamar, the crash test dummy…

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volvo crash 490

Lamar! Why am I talking to you on your cell phone instead of in person? I put you in charge of delivering our new electric car here at the auto show! It’s missing, and so are you!

AUTOSHOW/This place is full of journalists, cameras, live coverage, streaming video, all kinds of free publicity. Where’s my car?

Look Ma, it’s like we’re really THERE!

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Staff, this holiday season we’re going for broke. We’ve jammed our store full of flat-screen TVs of all sizes, wall-to-wall, and now we need to make shoppers think they can’t live without owning one.

BELARUS/

Lamar, you were in charge of selecting content to excite the shoppers. They need to be slobbering, frothing at the mouth, willing to spend everything they have for one of these TVs.

Another president taken down by vampires?

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FRANCE/

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending the Insurance Salesman of the Year Dinner.

Tonight we honor one of our own – you know him as Lamar – who has set new standards for  insurance salesmanship this year.

“If it ain’t Lamar’s, it just ain’t steak!”

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INDONESIA-OBAMA/

Blog Guy, I know you get around. I’ve heard that U.S. celebrities, even superstars, often do TV commercials and endorsements for overseas markets, since they know the ads won’t be shown here. Does this happen a lot?

michelle steak combo 280Yes, much more than you can imagine. Above, here’s a screen grab showing first lady Michelle Obama advertising for Susie’s House of Doilies on a home shopping network over in Indonesia.