Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Weekend at Bernie’s?

Photo
-

Two days ago I wrote about an auction where the government was going to sell a bunch of stuff belonging to big-time swindler Bernie Madoff, including some of his underwear and a pair of monogrammed slippers…

MADOFF/So just to update you, the auction was yesterday and it raked in more than $2 million. A 10-carat diamond ring alone fetched $550,000.

Believe it or not, somebody paid $6,000 for the Madoff slippers, and a grouping containing the sleazebucket’s underwear and socks went for $1,700. That’s right, $1,700.

The high-rollers who bought those personal items might want to see this transcript from listening devices the government planted in Madoff’s posh New York City home when they were building their case. Here is Bernie and a close business associate:

There’s no room for non-shooters here!

Photo
-

obama cameras 490

Lamar, get in my office! Isn’t Vasquez one of your men?

Yes, SIR General Johnson! What can I do for you, SIR!

obama vasquez 260What’s his problem?

SIR! There is no problem with Vasquez that I’m aware of, SIR!

Then where’s his camera? Doesn’t he know his commander-in-chief is speaking? Why isn’t he shooting photos like everybody else?

SIR, yes SIR!  I believe Vasquez is a big fan of President Obama and wanted to concentrate on what he was saying, SIR!

Let’s think this through, Lamar….

Photo
-

Blog Guy! You’ll never believe what I just saw!

Try me. I’ll believe just about anything.

USA/

You know Christine O’Donnell, that woman who’s running for the U.S. Senate who “dabbled in witchcraft” and is opposed to people entertaining themselves?

Entertaining themselves?

USA/You know what I mean. Basting the ham… Shucking the corn… Polishing the bayonet… Should I get more specific?

We’re going down! Is this blog finished?

Photo
-

man men crop this 490

Blog Guy, it’s me, your editor. Did you see that incredible season finale of the hit series Mad Men, with that cliffhanger where Don Draper…

pilot pope 220Stop, Boss! We don’t allow spoilers here.

Oh. Anyway, I was thinking since your last blog of the season is coming up, you could end it with some cliffhangers so people would come back next season.

Fashion and trashin’ in Oinktown

Photo
-

UKRAINE-FASHION/

Lamar, I thought you said we were having our fashion show in the underground parking garage to save money. But it says here we’ll be on the real runway. We’re not made of money.

Boss, I’m all over it. I got us the cheapest spot. They’re practically paying us to take it!

Pedaling for the pope…

Photo
-

POPE/

Fellow archbishops, we all know why we’re here. The Vatican entertainment budget is gone, and it’s only October.

So who has some good ideas for extremely cheap ways to entertain the pope? Yes, Most Reverend Lamar, you raised your hand?

Faster than a speeding locomotive…

Photo
-

Hey Blog Guy, you used to set up test races and stuff like that for your readers, so they could bet on what would beat what. Do you still do that?

Indeed. It’s one of the many fine services that make this the blog you can’t live without.