Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
When the chips are down, in Wackytown
Say, Blog Guy, I keep reading about those group tours you organize to that place you call Wackytown, the goofiest place on earth.
Right, that’s Krasnoyarsk, in Siberia. Think you’d like to join us on a trip? We’ve got a gambling junket coming up. Why waste your time in Las Vegas when you can go to a Wackytown casino?
Gambling, huh? That sounds like fun, but I also like to keep fit when I’m on vacation.
Then this is the place for you! You can go right from the slopes to the casino without even taking off your ski mask, as you can see here!
Plus, they encourage patrons to take breaks for calisthenics, under the close supervision of personal trainers. Look at these folks doing crunches and sit-ups.
Wait just a bleeping minute. Are you INSANE, Blog Guy? Those are cops arresting gamblers in those pictures. That’s a fricking police RAID!
How I spent my macho vacation…
Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I’m a fairly dimwitted guy who never really grew up. Life hasn’t gone my way, and I need an experience to make me feel like I’m somebody.
So you’re looking for something you can brag about on Facebook, no matter how shallow it is, to keep your pathetic imitation of life going for another year?
You bet! All I have left now are shabby, contrived experiences!
This is your lucky day. We’ve just published a list of “extreme holiday adventures.” And by “extreme” I think we just mean very, very sad.
Bring ‘em on!
Okay, how about a “mountain safari,” in a helicopter whizzing right past lofty peaks that other people have actually climbed. Our story says it seats only two guests, and is “a downright romantic trip, allowing you to score major points with your girlfriend while conveniently involving superslick machinery.”
Well, Spin, as I discuss in the first chapter of my dissertation, “Underpants and the Critics,” the poem has gone through a number of permutations over the years….
Did you just hear a piercing scream?
Blog Guy, did you see they just set a new world record for “Most Body Piercings in a Single Sitting” yesterday? A person got 3,200 piercings. Do you approve of things like that?
Only if it’s done properly, which this was.
The guy performing the procedure is named “Danger” and has tattoos showing behind his surgical mask, so you know he’s a top doctor. The woman getting pierced is a sideshow performer, so clearly she is good at making sound decisions.
Plus, it was done to get into the “Guinness World Records,” the best reason to do anything. It’s why we went to the moon, and also why we tracked Osama bin Laden.
So wait, Blog Guy. Why are you smiling. You’re hiding something, aren’t you?
Well, yes. This sideshow performer won’t hold that record for long, because I have a plan to go after it myself this weekend.
Nice one Georgia. 
There do appear to be two people holding down the piercee. Is this a record for involuntary piercing?
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