Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Oh, so this is a SERIOUS bike lane!
Okay, listen up, troops! I’ve got your duty assignments for the anti-Gaddafi army!
Smith, you’re riding in a tank. Jones, you’re a bombardier. Williams, you fire rocket-propelled grenades and blow up big stuff all day long. Johnson, you’re on Bike Patrol. Williams, you’re…
Um, excuse me, Sarge?
What is it, Johnson?
Well, you know, I mean it doesn’t sound very cool to just ride a bike.
Really, Johnson? But it’s a ten-speed two-wheeler, very shiny, and you get to shoot your AK-47 from the handlebars.
Yeah, but it sounds kind of dangerous, what with all the heavy weaponry around.
I mean, I’ll be pedaling along the front lines at 15 miles an hour. How fast can those artillery shells travel?
Have another round? No, I mean drinks!
Blog Guy, I need some of your great advice on home entertaining.
Is it something that can be solved by a fancy Williams-Sonoma gadget?
Not this time. I’ve invited some of those anti-Gaddafi soldiers over for a home- cooked dinner, and I’m wondering if there’s anything special I should know. We’ll start with pre-dinner drinks in the living room.
That sounds lovely. Make sure they have a clear line of fire.
Excuse me? Clear line of fire?
You know, they’ll want to use your sofa’s arm rest for their assault weapons, so you should only put one fighter on each piece of furniture.
Lemme just hack away at this gizmo…
Blog Guy, I’m looking for a new career and I know your advice is the best. I picked up a colorful brochure called, “The Exciting World of Battlefield Rocket Repair,” and I was wondering if you think that’s a good way to go?
That brochure is really making the rounds, isn’t it? I hear from lots of young people, captivated by the opening lines, “Hey, have you always wanted to see Libya?”
Seeing Libya, from surface to air!
Blog Guy, I could use some of your famous travel advice. With Libya being in the news lately I’d love to go see it, but I’m concerned about getting around. I’m not even sure how to get there. I’ll be starting my trip in Mexico, so I need to get…
From the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli? No problem. Libya is already building up tourism, and offers fast, efficient ways to get from place to place, using the thousands of unused missiles littering the country.
Who has the worst taste on earth?
Knock-knock! Hello, are you Aisha, the daughter of fugitive strongman Muammar Gaddafi?
Who wants to know?
I believe I’m expected. I’m Lamar, the writer from “Extremely Poor Taste” magazine. I’m here for a tour of your home.
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