Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

How many floozies live at this address?

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Alert readers of  this blog will recall my complaints about the U.S. Census last year.

I wrote about their heavy-handed approach, their fixation that my single-family dwelling was actually housing countless lodgers, and their surprise visits looking for an Apartment 2 and Apartment 3 somewhere in my home.

Also, I wasn’t too crazy about the census question asking whether I spend some of my time living in prison instead of here. Shouldn’t the government already KNOW who lives in prison?

But let’s not dwell on that again until 2020. Instead, let’s look at how another country handles it. Hungary, for instance.

Reading in bed just got a lot better…

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Okay Lamar, your memo said you’ve come up with a  totally new fashion concept in women’s apparel. I’m very excited, so show me what you’ve got.

Okay, Boss!  Presenting, ta-da, The Linger-Read!

The what?

It’s lingerie that you can read, Boss. So if you get bored with your partner, you can at least read what she’s wearing for entertainment.

The VERY WORST new retail trend?

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There is a retail trend that seems to be spreading and we need to stamp it out now, before it gets out of control. I’m talking about a store that offers free stuff to people who show up to shop in their underwear. Here are several examples, including one from just last week.

So far, this strategy has been confined to just a few clothing stores, but that doesn’t mean it won’t catch on, and soon we’ll all be wearing nothing but underwear when we go shopping for anything. Who needs that?

Finally, a job for you bikers…

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ducati bikers 490

Blog Guy, I’m hoping I can get some of your famous job-hunting advice. I’m a guy who likes to ride motorcycles.

Ah. Any other skills?

ducati models 320Absolutely none.

Well, normally I wouldn’t have much to offer someone with your, um, limited qualifications.

Welcome to Brassieres 101, ladies…

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USA/

Okay ladies, thank you for coming to the Victoria’s Secret “bra launch” today. We’re sure you will enjoy your new purchases.

bra launch crop 260You were wise to sign up for this class on how to wear a brassiere, a must for any young woman going out into the world.

And we’ll throw in a free doctorate, too!

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BRITAIN/

Lonnie, it’s me, the university president. Can you hear me?

Yeah Boss, I’m at the art gallery. A bunch of our students are here demonstrating against the tuition increase.

arm pit vertical 240Big deal, Lonnie. They’re being peaceful, right?

Uh, yeah, but one of the women just took off her clothes, right down to her black bra and panties.

All you nutjobs, come up onstage now!

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USA/

Blog Guy, if I’m not mistaken, the big annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was held last night. I come to your blog for all my shameless retail lingerie news, so what can you tell us about it?

secret fashion combo 280You know, I got kind of bored with this one, but I can give you a few details.

I gather from seeing our photos that this year’s theme was “Great Acid Trips of the 1960s.”

There’s lingerie in Paraguay?

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paraguay combo 490

Blog Guy, isn’t it cool how Paraguay is hanging in there at the World Cup? How about some pictures of their loyal fans?

SOCCER-WORLDFans? I think there’s just the one.

Only one fan? For the whole country?

Apparently. You know that woman I blogged about with the interesting docking station for her cell phone? We’ve now had ELEVEN photos of her.

New rice bra, more grains than brains?

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JAPANBlog Guy, I know you have a background in agriculture. I’ve read that nations are running out of room to grow vital crops to feed their people. What is being done about this?

A very good question. Japan, for example, has begun to require women to grow rice in their brassieres.

Why are these bikini models romping?

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victoria celebrate combo 490

Quick quiz: These three perky Victoria’s Secret models are celebrating because…

USA/a) It’s the 15th anniversary of the Victoria’s Secret swim catalog.

b) It’s the 50th anniversary of blowing air kisses for no apparent reason whatsoever.