Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze
- Amanda Cross

I’ll never forget the first time I saw that model, as beguiling as Miss Grundy from Archie Comics, with the confident swagger of a deluxe Mrs. Potatohead. A sleeveless Ed Norton-style vest, a Hallmark birthday ribbon in her hair, and glasses big enough to read a book with, if she were into that kind of thing.

With her Laverne De Fazio skirt dropping below her knees, and her Batman gloves pulled to mid-forearm, there wasn’t a single tattoo showing - she was that classy!

She was like the best of 50 years of pop culture, and she was walking my way at New York Fashion Week. The character in Steel Magnolias said it best: “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize...”

Well, heck, who wants to be that different from the animals, anyway?

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A model presents a creation from the Marc Jacobs Spring 2008 collection during New York Fashion Week September 10, 2007. REUTERS/Keith Bedford

“Well, Mr. Know-It-All, this is a fine mess. You said, let’s run down this alley, and they’ll go for that dude standing in the doorway! How does that seem to be workin’ for us so far?

“And you were the smarty-pants who said we could yell anything we wanted in English, because bulls only know Spanish! I guess maybe they have a damned foreign phrase book, ya think?

“While we’re at it, you said we’d be safe if we got really, really drunk, because bulls fear the smell of red wine! Don’t you ever get tired of being wrong, Floyd? And another thing…”

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Runners and fighting bulls from the Jose Cebala Gago ranch enter the bullring during the fourth day of the San Fermin festival in Pamplona July 10, 2007. REUTERS/Vincent West

Dear Blog Guy,
I need some advice on planning my wedding, and naturally you’re the first person I thought of. Everything is so expensive! Can you give some tips on ways to cut costs without seeming to be cheap?
Happy Bride

Sure, and congratulations. Many couples these days are offering speed-receptions - that is, wedding receptions that last only six minutes. As you can see in these photos, guests are stuffing their cake-holes as fast as they can, up against the deadline.

You can save a fortune this way, but just make sure somebody knows the Heimlich Maneuver. Another tip: forego napkins at the reception. Who needs ‘em? A little sticky icing never hurt anybody, and that’s what dry cleaners are for. Have a great time!

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Contestants compete in a ‘Bridezilla-Ultimate Cake Eating Contest’ in New York’s Times Square June 12, 2007. REUTERS/Brendan McDermid

Dear Blog Guy,
You seem to know quite a bit about unusual social situations. I’ve asked a nice girl to go with me to run with the bulls. Any tips on what chicks expect on a date like this?
Curious

Yes, there are some rules of etiquette. For instance, notice this guy, who seems about to be squashed. His right arm offers firm support for the young woman, as he averts his gaze from her turquoise panties that are riding up. He makes diplomatic smalltalk about where they might go to dinner later, if chewing is still an option for them.

Of course, there is some chance that he’s just grabbing her to fling her behind him, hoping she will slow the bull down by a nanosecond and he can save his own miserable life. If you pull that stunt, do not expect a good-night kiss.

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Villagers run from a bull in the town centre of Ponte da Lima, Portugal, June 6, 2007, as part of the annual “Vacas das Cordas” celebrations. REUTERS/Nacho Doce

Dear Blog Guy,
My soul mate and I want to do something to symbolize our eternal love. You seem to be a man of the world, what do you suggest?
Smitten

Well, Smitten, Rome is maybe the most romantic city in the world, and lots of lovers there have recently been putting padlocks on lampposts, then throwing the keys into the Tiber River, so the locks will be there forever. Very romantic.

Oh, wait. It turns out the lampposts can’t stand the weight of all those locks, so firemen have started sawing them off, and they won’t exactly be there for eternity, just maybe a day or so. I guess you’ll just have to get married, instead.

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A lamp post covered with padlocks, placed there by lovers, stands on Ponte Milvio, on the Tiber River in Rome April 14, 2007. REUTERS/Chris Helgren

Some people just lack a sense of humor. Take this guy in Saudi Arabia who was talking to his two wives, and he said - yes, he is allowed to have several wives over there - and he said to them that maybe it was time he got a third wife.

So they bit off part of his nose and he had to have seven stitches.

I never realized they would get so worked up,” the guy said. That’s an actual quote. Here’s the story:

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Cast member Jeanne Tripplehorn (C) poses with co-stars Chloe Sevigny (L) and Ginnifer Goodwin at the premiere of “Big Love” on February 23, 2006. The television series tells the story of polygamist Bill Henrickson (Bill Paxton), who deals with three wives. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni

Dear Blog Guy,
My sweetie left me, and I’m really bummed. I know you see stuff from all over the world, and I thought you might know some way for me to get over her.
Dumped and Depressed

Well Dumped, some people go public with their pain. Now, you take Sarjeet Yadav.  When the woman of his dreams left him, he channeled his heartbreak into a crowd-pleasing display of masochism. So now he’s in show biz, breaking lightbulbs and bottles on himself, rolling in glass, pouring chili powder in his wounds…

We have a video report, but honestly, Sarjeet is only the second strangest character in the story. The strangest is his wife - that’s right, he has a wife - who nurses his cuts and bruises when he comes home after a long day of publicly torturing himself over the loss of his love.

Now, there’s a special lady. Baby, you’re the greatest! Cindy Martin reports:

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Don’t tell anyone the big secret, but I guess the folks who publish Harlequin romances can’t just rely on breathtaking plot twists, multi-layered characters and gripping prose to sell enough of their books. That’s where guys with no shirts come in.

This weekend, Harlequin representatives went looking for “regular” dudes they might want to use as models for their book covers, checking out about 200 men at a Toronto casting house.

A Harlequin spokeswoman said they were looking for “that iconic look that women go for - sexy, sensitive, beautiful and fit.” D’oh! Have I been stupid, or what? I thought they just wanted a good sense of humor. Jonathan Spicer reports:

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A man poses during a casting call for Harlequin romance novels in Toronto on March 24, 2007. REUTERS/Mark Blinch

It’s time for another installment of our regular feature, Great Challenges in Marketing.

This time, we’re promoting a female-only island in Iran, announced this week. The idea is to give women a place to feel at ease in a culture where mixing with men in public is forbidden. Restaurants and other facilities will be staffed only by women.

Now, selling this idea to men would be pretty easy, what with guys being comfortable with the image of an island with nothing but women. But how do you sell women on a vacation with no prospect of romance or chemistry?

We’ve come up with two approaches: What doesn’t happen in Urumiyeh Lake Stays in Urumiyeh Lake, or We don’t have to build men’s rooms, so you save money! Feel free to do better via Post a Comment. Here’s the story:

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This isn’t the place…Iranian families enjoy time on a beach near Chalus on the Caspian Sea in a file photo. The Caspian Sea is a favourite resort for many families as they escape the heat from Tehran.

Let’s all try to picture how this is going to go down. This oxygen bar in Belgium is featuring helium for Valentine’s Day, so couples can inhale it and say “I love you” in a high squeaky voice. I want to be there when the first guy surprises his soul mate with that one.

“Honey, I have a special treat! We’re going down to the bar, to say ‘I love you’ like cartoon characters! No chocolates this year, no red roses, no lingerie. But we get to sound like Alvin the Chipmunk when we exchange those three little words!”

“Oh, is that right, Mr. Romance? Well, good news…I may be able to trim my message down to two words, and save you some gas!” Emma Davis reports:

http://blogs.reuters.com/category/themes  /oddly-enough/

A vendor in a chocolate shop holds up Belgian praline boxes made for Valentine’s Day in Brussels February 13, 2007. REUTERS/Yves Herman