These people are at Germany’s Oktoberfest, which our caption calls ”the world’s biggest folk festival.”  Now there’s a wonderful euphemism. Hey, Billy, will your parents let you bring that chick with all the staples in her lip over to my place on Saturday so we can get hammered? What? They only let you go to folk festivals? No problem!

People gesture as they drink in an Oktoberfest tent in Munich September 20, 2006. The Oktoberfest, the world’s biggest folk festival, runs from September 16 till October 3, 2006.  REUTERS/Michaela Rehle

“The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name…” They must have told me your IQ, or I wouldn’t be using lines like these… 

The fabled pick-up line.  The single sentence that will melt a woman’s heart.  Now, a publisher has printed the so-called top ten such lines, in several languages, so if they don’t work in English you can try in Czech, German, and so on, until the woman falls off her barstool with wine spritzer spewing from her nose.

The lines are also offered in Italian and French, because the publisher says they are “the same no matter what language you are speaking.” Yeah, that explains why French and Italian guys always seem to need so much help.

By the way, that ”…only thing your eyes haven’t told me…” line is only number ten, and obviously it wouldn’t pick up road kill.  The book’s number one line is so truly, truly awful, you could go blind just reading it. This blog isn’t responsible if you go past this point:  

File photo

You put your right hand in,
You put your right hand out,
You put your right hand in,
And you shake it all about

The conservative magazine “National Review” has published a list of “The 50 greatest conservative rock songs.”  Surprisingly, “The Hokey Pokey” isn’t on it, despite mentioning the right a number of times — see the lyrics above.  I guess the problem is it mentions the left, too.

Anyway, the list is filled with songs that I used to just think of as great music, without getting the conservative connection at all. The Review attempts to explain what qualifies the songs for its list but doesn’t always succeed. “Sweet Home Alabama” is there because it is a tribute to the South — apparently that is something only conservatives appreciate. And “Stand By Your Man” is there because Hillary Clinton made negative comments about it. Oh, okay.

Here is the full list: 

Stand By Your Man….” Country singer George Jones, (R) pictured with the late Tammy Wynette at the Country Music Association Awards in Nashville on October 4, 1995, FILE PHOTO

There isn’t much to add to this one. When it comes to sex and romance, it turns out aging Canadian baby boomers spend a lot more time watching television or surfing the net, according to a new study. 

Specifically, the study found that Canadians between the ages of 40 and 64 spend an average of 15 minutes a day on sex and romance, but can spend as much as five hours a day watching TV or surfing the Internet.

Man looks at a display of televisions at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, Nevada, January 5, 2006. REUTERS/Steve Marcus

We all know things can get volatile when husbands and wives go after each other.  Awhile back a Cairo woman set fire to her apartment after an argument with her husband over his refusal to buy dried fruit and nuts for Ramadan. In another case, a restaurant chef in Germany got so angry with his wife he hurled a piece of meat at her but  missed, hitting a customer in the head.

But today’s story puts those to shame. A Mexican husband and wife were recovering separately after a marital spat got out of control and saw them firing guns, throwing knives and hurling homemade bombs.  s                     Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â   

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, stars of the new action film “Mr. & Mrs. Smith”, pose at the film’s premiere in Los Angeles June 7, 2005. REUTERS/Fred Prouser