I’ve blogged before about Saint Death, this grinning skeletal figure who isn’t recognized by the Catholic Church, but is revered by drug traffickers and other criminal scumbags.

I get a kick out of this guy, because I don’t begin to see how he fits in with regular theology. I noticed this photo when soldiers in Mexico seized a house used for storing marijuana and a lab producing cocaine. According to the caption this is an “altar to venerate Saint Death.”

Looking at the AR-15 rifle leaning against the thing, I’m thinking they meant “ventilate” instead of venerate.

Anyway, note the statues of the saint and the large work of art. The caption doesn’t say, but I’m hoping and praying the artwork is made of velvet. It just seems right.

To get scholarly for a moment, the blown up section shows Death is smoking a joint, something you rarely see in religious art apart from Saint Jerry Garcia. He is also waving a scythe, similar to the one Saint Happy New Year! carries.

Finally, in big gold lettering on the frame we see SANTA MUERTE, which I believe translates to “Maybe we should have chosen another frickin’ career.”

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An AR-15 rifle is seen at the base of an altar to venerate Saint Death, inside a house seized by the army during an operation in Monterrey, northern Mexico June 23, 2009. The army seized a house used for storing marijuana and a lab producing cocaine during an operation early Tuesday. One man was detained and three more escaped, according to local media. REUTERS/Tomas Bravo

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Blog Guy, I’ve noticed that every time you offer career advice about the military, all you do is write about the jobs you consider crappy. Are there ANY good jobs?

Yes. These troops here are watching as tons of marijuana goes up in smoke, if you catch my drift.

They’re just standing there.

I presume they’re also inhaling, if you catch my drift.

So this would be a good assignment?

Absolutely, especially when the Big Snack Truck shows up, if you catch my drift.

And all they have to do is be in a straight formation?

More of a Zigzag, if you…

Yes, I DO catch your drift, Blog Guy.! The village idiot would catch your drift!

Oh. Now I’ve forgotten what I was saying, if you catch…

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Soldiers stand in formation as packages of marijuana are incinerated at a military base in Monterrey, northern Mexico, April 24, 2009. More than 9 tons of marijuana and drugs such as cocaine, heroin, methamphetamines and psychotropic pills were destroyed as part of efforts to crack down on the drug trade. REUTERS/Tomas Bravo

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Blog Guy, last week you had an item about a Drug Museum in Mexico City. Is that for real? Because, you know, that’s one of my interests. What do they have there?

Oh, it’s real. Judging from our photos, it looks like they’ve hired Burt Reynolds to portray a drug trafficker, which has got to be kind of expensive for them.

Also, they have tableaus like the one below, showing a guy guarding marijuana crops.

Very interesting! Any idea what else they have?

I suppose maybe they have, like, a tableau of a dorm room at any college in the U.S., and maybe a tableau of Bill Clinton not inhaling. And I’m just guessing here, but I bet they have one heck of a snack section in the museum’s gift shop.

Do you think a museum like this will be popular?

Maybe. A lot of folks who visit will forget about it and go back, over and over.

Forget about what?

You see what I mean?

Drug Museum slideshow

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Above: Exhibit of a drug trafficker in the Drugs Museum at the headquarters of the Mexican Ministry of Defense in Mexico City, March 9, 2009.

Below: Exhibit of a man guarding marijuana crops is displayed at the museum.

REUTERS photos by Jorge Dan Lopez

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Blog Guy, The Dutch take a very liberal approach to marijuana use. You can buy marijuana in coffee shops over there. How is that going for them?

Well, they’re having a “weed summit” this weekend to discuss that very thing. I got a copy of the working agenda. It’s still secret, so don’t share it with anybody:

8 a.m. Stop by a “coffee shop” for “breakfast.”

9 a.m. Try to remember what we’re doing here. Did anybody write it down?

9:15 a.m. Three-hour snack time.

1 p.m. to 2 p.m. Hold our ears and dance in those clunky wooden shoes we wear.

2 p.m. Try to decide if we live in The Netherlands or Holland or “That Dutch Place.”

3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Unless we can remember what we’re supposed to be doing, it’s back to the old “coffee shop.”

So you think the “weed summit” will be worthwhile, Blog Guy?

What summit?

Assorted joints at a coffee shop in the Dutch city of Bergen op Zoom. Dutch cities will exchange information at a “weed summit” in Almere, November 21, 2008. REUTERS/Jerry Lampen

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Top Secret Memo: For 4,000 years, armies have worked to look fierce and frightening, for that extra psychological edge over the enemy in combat. The Spartans, the Vikings, the Goths…

After years of studying intimidation, we are ready to unveil our soldier of the future.

Note how he waves his fully-loaded assault weapon without even looking. Note how his eyes are covered with a ski cap, so you don’t know WHAT he’s going to shoot at. And note that he is smoking a jumbo joint the size of a Churchill cigar! 

Gentlemen, meet the new Spartan. You don’t want to be HIS enemy. Oh, and you sure don’t want to be the cashier at the first ice cream and cookie snack shop he comes to.

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A militant holds his AK47 rifle as he smokes marijuana in the creeks of Nigeria’s volatile oil-rich Niger Delta in this July 18, 2008 picture. REUTERS/ George Esiri

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They did a poll to find our favorite TV moms,  and the results are just irritating. Here’s a hint: number one was June Cleaver, from Leave it to Beaver. There are a few bright spots in the list, but mostly, ”favorite mom” translates to “mom in a deep coma.”

For those who don’t think a good mom needs to be like some cult member, I’m offering my own list of “best” TV moms.

5. Peg Bundy: Katey Sagal’s trashy character in Married with Children. Her homemade raisin bread recipe involves a loaf of bread, a box of raisins and a hammer.

4. Nancy Botwin: In Weeds, Mom sells marijuana to sustain her suburban lifestyle.

3. Atia of the Julii: Evil chick from the Rome series. She’s described as  “snobbish, willful, cunning, and sexually voracious,” and those are her good qualities

2. Livia Soprano: Okay, she ordered a hit on her own son. “You’re dead to me,  Mommy!”

1. Estelle Costanza: George’s mom from Seinfeld. He might have been better off with Livia Soprano.

Estelle Harris, who played Estelle Costanza, REUTERS photo by Fred Prouser

Dear Blog Guy, I heard there’s a place in Spain where everybody on the town council dresses like Elvis Presley. Is this true?

Boy, things sure do get blown out of proportion. No, just one of the town councillors dresses like Elvis. He’s Ariel Santamaria, a former mailman. When he ran for election he said he would turn the town square into a nudist pool, paint the town hall pink, and plant marijuana in the parks.

By the way, what I like about our photo caption below is that we used (R) to show which one is Santamaria, just to make clear that the guy in the suit and tie in the back row isn’t the one who’s dressed like the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll.

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Ariel Santamaria (R), a former postman, is sworn in as town councillor, dressed as Elvis Presley, in Reus, Spain, June 16, 2007. REUTERS/Gustau Nacarino

When officials seize four TONS of marijuana from two boats off the Mexican coast, they have to get rid of it somehow, and that means a big fire and lots of smoke. And they have to guard it while it’s burning, and that means troops, and a lot of stuff to munch on…

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A Mexican marine stands guard in front of about 4 tons of marijuana being incinerated at a naval base in Topolobambo in the north western Mexican state of Sinaloa, January 25, 2007. REUTERS/Daniel Aguilar

Quick quiz: When playing the popular game Trivial Pursuit, the most important bit of trivia to have at your command is:

a) The capital of South Dakota
b) John Wayne’s Oscar-winning role
c) The biggest lake in Hungary
d) Exactly how much E & J Brandy your body can handle

For one young woman, the answer should have been d).  According to a Chicago Sun-Times story, she was hospitalized for intoxication after playing a version of the game in which giving an incorrect answer meant you had to drink a shot of brandy and take a hit of marijuana. 

Well, the important thing is, they were exercising their minds. Here’s the story courtesy of the suntimes:

Some guys in Amsterdam had planned to roll and smoke the world’s largest joint, but they cancelled at the last minute because they realized they might be breaking the law.

See, they had thought it would be legal to smoke a five-foot-long joint containing more than a pound of marijuana, if each person just brought a tiny amount and they put it all together, but that turned out not to be the case.

We have now read the small print and realize there could be problems, one of the organizers was quoted as saying after consulting Dutch drugs laws. 

A prohibition sign prohibiting marijuana smoking in public is seen in the district of De Baarsjes in Amsterdam February 2, 2006. REUTERS/Paul Vreeker