Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Get whiter teeth, with twice the pain

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Blog Guy, I read about a place in France that has made great strides in whitening teeth. Can you tell me more?

You’re in luck. I don’t actually read French, but then again I can make up stuff from looking at photos no matter where they were taken.

It scares me to death that that makes any sense to me at all, Blog Guy. So how does this method work?

I believe the technique involves biting on a gel-filled mouthpiece, which reacts to ultraviolet light.

Think she’ll notice if we take her purse?

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Lamar, where did you get the models for today’s fashion show?

From my psychiatrist. They’re all in therapy for various things, so they’re happy to have the work.

Therapy? Is it safe to have them here?

Oh sure, Boss, most of the ones with violent tendencies turned down the gig. My shrink says one of these chicks is being treated for narcolepsy.

It takes lots of plastic to be the Man of Steel

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Blog Guy, who’s your favorite superhero? Mine is Superman. I love the whole story of being sent here in a rocket from the planet Krypton by his scientist father, Jor-El, and how he….

Right! I love that, too. And the rocket landing in the Philippines, and…

Er, no, he was raised by the kindly Kents, and…

And then he disguised himself by…

By wearing a business suit and a snap-brim hat and glasses, and…

No, by having plastic surgery on his nose, cheeks, lips, chin and thighs, and changed his skin color, and…

What year is it again?

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Welcome back to a regular feature we call, “What Year is it Again?” in which we relate true events that make us question whether we’ve gone back in time for decades, maybe even centuries.

For instance, I was looking at a very nice photo series about guide dogs in Peru, but I noticed the captions said that shops, banks and buses don’t allow blind people to enter with their guide dogs.

So, Doc, is it a boy or a girl?

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Blog Guy, I’ve heard our elected officials don’t earn much, and they have to find ways to supplement their income. Is that true?

Uh-oh, I suppose you’re going to ask me about former vice president Spiro T. Agnew, right?

A loco motive for doing this?

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Hey Doctor, it’s me! Earl! I’m calling from out here on the railway line where you sent me. Are you positive this will make me better?

Yes Earl, we’re on the right track.

You say the electrical energy from the rails will cure me, but how do I get it from the train into me?

Yeah baby, I used to be famous!

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BRAZIL/

Psssssssssst! Blog Guy, it’s me!

elephant man japan 180Wally? My old roommate from the Witness Protection Program?

No, you dimwit, I’m The Elephant Man! I was famous when my movie came out, back in 1980, and I’d like some of your fashion advice. I want to start hitting the singles bar scene, but I need a hip wardrobe.

Ah, that empty oat bag over your head and the stupid floppy cap aren’t making it any more, huh?