Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Giant black cloud? How bad could it be?
Blog Guy, I wanted to follow up on an item you had a few days ago, about that gigantic 300-acre “marijuana plantation” that was found by soldiers in Mexico.
I was just wondering if it’s possible to rent the plantation for nature study trips. Or fraternity parties.
Nice try. It’s already gone. We have subsequent pictures of troops burning all those crops.
Nooooooo!!!! I mean, gosh, that seems like a waste. All 300 acres of weed, up in smoke…
If it’s any consolation, it produced a monumental smoke cloud, hundreds of miles big, drifting out over the Pacific Ocean.
Hey, there’s thuggage in your luggage!
Blog Guy, it’s July 6. Isn’t that the date you usually announce the coveted Doofus of the Year Award?
Indeed, but it was complicated this year. A last-minute entry snatched the title from someone I thought had an absolute lock on it.
So? So? The winner is?
Some guy who tried to escape from a Mexican prison zipped up in a suitcase, after a conjugal visit by his girlfriend.
How did this EVER seem like a good plan? I mean, was his visitor going to say, “Guards, I’m ready to go now. Say, can you help me with this extremely large, bulging suitcase I brought in for a one-hour conjugal visit?”
“Si, Señorita! This is a VERY fine suitcase! This is the kind you can push down the stairs, like this, and shoot with a pistol, like this, and set on fire, like this, and it still works, no?”
maybe the Mexican prison system could hire this guy to handle any outgoing suitcases http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=749iU2Zv1 kw&feature=related
You said my butt looks WHAT?
Lonnie, what were we thinking? I KNEW we shouldn’t have booked a fashion show in Mexico, what with the drug wars, the gang hits, the brazen shootouts all over the place!
It’ll be fine, Boss. Some of the models want to wear Kevlar vests on the runway, but those are pretty fashionable these days.
Well, I don’t know, Lon. Did the girls demand any other kind of security?
Oh, you know, they all want to carry 9 mm pistols. I said fine, what could it hurt?
Sure, what could possibly go wrong with arming a couple dozen prima donna models with semiautomatic weapons? Say Lonnie, have you seen Lamar around?
Yeah Boss, he just went backstage to tell Hulga her thighs are looking kind of chunky.
Spin – that would be useless, her super zapper sting would still find you. Useless hiding. Just like you’re fighting Chuck Norris. This sure is scary.
Oh, and don’t drink the water…
Blog Guy, you’re not gonna believe this. I live in Mexico City, and I saw some dude showering outside a few days ago!
Yeah, the city council set up some shower booths to teach people how to save water while taking a shower.
Really? Could that be effective?
Probably. I know if I ever had to shower in public it would be the fastest one I ever took.
Using that logic, I bet public outdoor toilets would lead to even more water conservation.
Yeah, or else some pretty serious kidney damage. Look, here’s the thing. Often, campaigns like this one are really aimed at teaching citizens something completely different.
It’s an epidemic…From Mexico City to Hollywood, USA. Check this out: http://www.lbpost.com/life/pets/11340
Hit Man Camp? Pass the lime bag, slimebag!
Blog Guy, what are some things to watch for if you suspect you’ve chosen the wrong summer camp?
Good question. This would be one example. The photo caption here says these things are latrines at a “drug hit men training camp.”
So are they all booked up for June, Blog Guy?
You’re not paying attention.
I’m saying if your camp’s restroom consists of a log-covered pit and a communal lime bag, and you’re hurrying off to handicrafts like Make Your Own Silencer, you may not be a happy camper.
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Krasnoyarsk: where the air quality rating has a whole new meaning. Code Munchie coming up!
If you think reading the blog is fun here, wait ’til you read it there. And then try to say Krasnoyarsk ten times wihout giggling…