Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, you’re looking positively jubilant today. Why are you rejoicing?
I’ve made the big time. My blog’s Facebook Network hit 25,000 members yesterday.
CONGRATULATIONS! There must have been one HUGE celebration when that happened.
Indeed. Washington was all ablaze with glory. The very heavens seemed to have come down. Rockets flashed to and fro in fiery lines, and banners waved above the tumultuous throng…
Let me stop you right there, Blog Guy. That sounds very familiar…
You’re quoting a newspaper story from April 14, 1865, describing Washington DC’s celebration over the end of the Civil War! It didn’t really happen to you yesterday.
Blog Guy, I know you get around. I’ve heard that U.S. celebrities, even superstars, often do TV commercials and endorsements for overseas markets, since they know the ads won’t be shown here. Does this happen a lot?
Yes, much more than you can imagine. Above, here’s a screen grab showing first lady Michelle Obama advertising for Susie’s House of Doilies on a home shopping network over in Indonesia.
Blog Guy, you’re a Washington DC insider, so maybe you can clear up something for me. It sounds nutty, but I heard that many of our first ladies have professional lounge acts.
That’s true. Michelle Obama, for example, does a standing-room-only show called, “That Guy on the One-Dollar Bill.”
Frankly, as a serious collector, both of those guys sound pretty weird to me.
I see. And what do you collect?
Photos of important people with vegetables. Here’s part of my collection, including my pride and joy, former President George Bush holding a can of Bush’s Baked Beans. That one is worth a fortune.
Blog Guy, last month you said that in case extremists get into the White House grounds and overpower the Secret Service, the Obamas have been trained to hide behind trees and shrubs.
You said they even carry bundles of foliage when they cross an open area. You had a photo of Michelle Obama carrying protective bundles of herbs.
Blog Guy, tell me some inside Washington stuff. What if extremists get into the White House grounds and overpower the Secret Service? What’s the contingency plan?
I don’t think I should make that public.
Come on, just between us. Nobody reads this blog in the summer, anyway. I bet the plan involves jet packs and hidden trap doors….
Blog Guy, we’re all aware that there is tough competition among contenders for the summer exhibition at your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop there in Washington. A few days ago you published the all-time goofiest Michelle Obama photo, which seems impossible to beat. Has Hillary Clinton just given up on winning the contest?
Far from it. Clinton has hired world-famous goofy face coach Hamid Karzai and is working long hours with him to perfect her best faces.
Blog Guy, I see all these very inspiring pictures of first lady Michelle Obama visiting classes in schools, and the kids seem to love her. How does she establish that instant rapport?
I believe normally she begins by challenging them to a fistfight.
WHAT? Are you out of your mind?
Yes, I probably am, but let’s answer your questions in order. I think she says, “Hello class,” and they say, “Hello Ms. Obama.”
Blog Guy, I see that President and Mrs. Obama had a little getaway this weekend. That’s nice, especially after those worrisome signs of stress you wrote about recently. So what did they do?
They went to North Carolina and toured the famed Biltmore Estate. It was a rare opportunity for them to see a historic mansion and be surrounded by priceless antiques.
Blog Guy, you haven’t written much about your beloved Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop lately. You got anything new to unveil for the summer tourist season?
Hey, thanks for asking. We’re in an odd situation this summer. We can only open one new exhibit, and both first lady Michelle Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton want to be the subject.