Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Big yawn on the South Lawn…

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Blog Guy, I see lots of photos of Michelle Obama, reading books to school children. This is wonderful. What better way to instill an interest in reading and story-telling than to get to listen to the first lady. Her children are SO lucky!

horton poster 240Um, maybe. Here’s a shot of Ms. Obama reading “Horton Hatches the Egg” at the annual Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn of the White House. As you can see, her own daughter can’t quite stifle a yawn.

That’s unfortunate. Why would that be?

Well, for one thing, Michelle read the book in her native Estonian language, so nobody understood a word.

She also has a very high-pitched, whiny reading voice which is hard to take, and she tends to skip several pages at a time and just say, “Blah blah blah, you know, you know…”

The adventures of Hillary and Michelle

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“Funny story, Hillary. Yesterday I found a secret stash in one of the White House cabinets that they said hadn’t been used since you and Bill lived there….

“I mean, this was some twisted stuff! I’m talking about a 1.75 liter bottle of creme de menthe, an old VHS set of the entire “Yogi Bear” cartoon series, an ‘I’M WITH STUPID’ t-shirt, a case of Hostess Twinkies…”

Fatty pork and rotten eggs for lunch?

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Blog Guy, I know first lady Michelle Obama cares about a lot of good causes. Which do you think is most important to her?

OBAMA/I think childhood nutrition, though I don’t necessarily agree with her on that. She just released her new school lunch menu, and it included fatty pork products and apparently rotten eggs. Can you imagine?

The Goofiest Photos of the Year…

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I’ll admit my blog isn’t very good, but without goofy photos it would be far worse. Trust me. So this is the big day when I reveal the five goofiest photos of 2009. Below are two through five, in no particular order.

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You will now cluck like a chicken!

I’ve got something odd to ask, your Holiness!

You may kiss the bride… No thanks!

Schcuse me… Is thish the schtable?

And now, for the moment we’ve all been waiting for, GOOFIEST SHOT OF THE YEAR, which I’ve saved just for today. The envelope please… It is the only known photo of a U.S. first lady giving the stink-eye to an earthworm. It don’t get no goofier than this!

Obama in hot water at home?

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Blog Guy, what does President Obama do in his spare time? He must have a lot of it, because he doesn’t have to commute to work or anything like that.

obama water heater combo 180Obama like to putter around the house. He’s quite a handyman. For instance, yesterday he diverted his motorcade for a stop at a suburban Home Depot, to pick up a new water heater for the White House.

Now act REAL scared, Mr. President!

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Boy, talk about your big coups! We at Acme Films expect the runaway blockbuster of 2010 to be our “Jurassic Park IV: Raptors Meet the Death Panels of Doom.”

But the really big news is, we’ve done a deal to have the entire Obama family appear!

Must stay awake… Must look interested…

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Oh Dear Lord, will this doofus NEVER stop talking? Blah blah Afghanistan, blah blah Afghanistan… Somebody PLEASE hit me with a ball-peen hammer!

Oooh, if I push my fist against my lower lip like this, it hurts enough to keep me awake… Good to know…

I didn’t know they required a tie…

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Blog Guy, it’s well known that you’re a real romantic, whose sophisticated dating advice is followed by many. Here is a couple on a date in Washington, DC. They are leaving a restaurant after a leisurely dinner. I’d like your thoughts.

The guy is a few steps behind her. Bad move. If there are muggers waiting to take her purse, he can’t do anything to stop them.

Just call him a fencing foil…

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Quick quiz: In these photos, President Barack Obama is…

a) illustrating how his new death panels will work.

b) abruptly ending a promising political career.

c) pretending to be Luke Skywalker, like every other guy on earth.

d) about to provoke the Secret Service marksmen on the White House roof.

Actually, the best thing about these lawn fencing photos is first lady Michelle Obama’s expression. It’s perfect….

“Oh dear God, who gave a toy sword to that fool? Honey, come over here, I need to talk to you for a minute about dinner! It’s IMPORTANT, sweetie-pie!”

I hope you don’t paint for a living, Slick!

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Readers have asked what I thought of Friday’s national Day of Service, in which President Barack Obama helped paint a house to show his strong support for volunteer work.

It’s great that the first family set such a fine example, but I noticed all these people standing outside the house where the president was working, holding signs saying how much they love Obama…