Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Join the army, and pamper yourself!

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Now, if you just sign on the dotted line, son, it’ll be official. You’ll be a private in the U.S. Army.

I don’t know sir, I’m still not sure about this.

Look, I’m a professional recruiter, so I have to be totally honest with you. What’s holding you back, young man?

Well, I’ve seen a lot of movies about the soldier’s life, living in damp tents or slummy barracks…

Why didn’t you say so? Just look at this picture of a new recruit in his own room at basic training. These are the new barracks.

What’s this-here doohickey for?

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Blog Guy, I could use some of your famous career advice.

My mom gave me a glossy brochure entitled, “The Glamorous Field of Dismantling Old Nuclear Bombs,” and I signed up for their training course.

It’s real interesting, but I wondered what you thought of that career path?

Catching bayonets, what could go wrong?

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It’s not that I don’t think you know what you’re doing, but we hired you to spiff up our military honor guard with some great new moves, and I’m just not sure about your plan.

Trust me, I know what I’m doing.

Okay, I’m sorry, what was your name again?

Lamar.

Okay Lamar, so as I understand it, the honor guard marches up, stops, and everybody just hurls their rifles straight into the air, is that it?

Oh, so this is a SERIOUS bike lane!

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Okay, listen up, troops! I’ve got your duty assignments for the anti-Gaddafi army!

Smith, you’re riding in a tank. Jones, you’re a bombardier. Williams, you fire rocket-propelled grenades and blow up big stuff all day long. Johnson, you’re on Bike Patrol. Williams, you’re…

Have another round? No, I mean drinks!

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Blog Guy, I need some of your great advice on home entertaining.

Is it something that can be solved by a fancy Williams-Sonoma gadget?

Not this time. I’ve invited some of those anti-Gaddafi soldiers over for a home- cooked dinner, and I’m wondering if there’s anything special I should know. We’ll start with pre-dinner drinks in the living room.

That sounds lovely. Make sure they have a clear line of fire.

Excuse me? Clear line of fire?

You know, they’ll want to use your sofa’s arm rest for their assault weapons, so you should only put one fighter on each piece of furniture.

What’s wrong with this picture?

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Blog Guy, I’ve been seeing photos of well-armed rebels in Yemen in recent days, and I notice a lot of swollen cheeks. Are those plucky lads in need of major dental care?

No, don’t worry about that. These guys are just getting stoned on a leaf called qat.

Lemme just hack away at this gizmo…

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Blog Guy, I’m looking for a new career and I know your advice is the best. I picked up a colorful brochure called, “The Exciting World of Battlefield Rocket Repair,” and I was wondering if you think that’s a good way to go?

That brochure is really making the rounds, isn’t it? I hear from lots of young people, captivated by the opening lines, “Hey, have you always wanted to see Libya?”

Honk if this seems strange…

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Strange days have found us
Strange days have tracked us down

Blog Guy, how’s come you’re playing a Doors album really loud? What’s up with that?

Oh, I think it’s that war in Libya. It’s getting weirder and weirder, and starting to remind me of tracks off that “Strange Days” album.

Looks like that one passed the test!

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Sarge, look sharp. I’ve got a job for you.

Sure thing, Captain, Sir!

We’ve captured all these big weapons from the Gaddafi loyalists, and we need to test ‘em.

Can you take care of that? And start with that big anti-aircraft gun over there!

Seeing Libya, from surface to air!

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Blog Guy, I could use some of your famous travel advice. With Libya being in the news lately I’d love to go see it, but I’m concerned about getting around. I’m not even sure how to get there. I’ll be starting my trip in Mexico, so I need to get…

From the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli? No problem. Libya is already building up tourism, and offers fast, efficient ways to get from place to place, using the thousands of  unused missiles littering the country.