Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Sir, your glasses will be ready in 1162

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Blog Guy, I saw some Reuters photos from a Japanese battle reenactment, with Yabusame archers and stuff. What made those guys so awesome?

For starters, as this historically accurate demo shows, way back in the 12th century these archers wore glasses. Without good eyewear, hitting a moving enemy with an arrow fired from a galloping steed is actually hard. Yabusame is Japanese for “Read these letters, starting with the top line.”

Cool! And what about those guys with the guns?

They were a potent fighting force with their muskets, called harquebus. When the gunpower ignited, it propelled a lead projectile three, maybe four feet before it dropped harmlessly to the ground.

That doesn’t sound so formidable to me.

You don’t understand. While the bullet itself was laughable, the gun had a kick you wouldn’t believe. This rifleman is actually fighting people BEHIND him. The gun will fly backwards, take out two or three of the enemy, and he’ll pull it back with that rope.

So I should STRADDLE this thingie?

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To the Commander of Russian Cavalry:

Comrade, I’m not going to say I told you so, but it was your idea to cut out the training budget for our new cavalry recruits. “How hard can it be to figure it out themselves?” you said.

Well, here is your answer. The new horsemen put on a show this weekend, and it was pretty pathetic.

You’re SURE this is the air force?

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I’m embarrassed for these guys. The photo captions say they are in the Air Force, and are displaying their “skills.”

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But here’s a tip. If you find yourself slithering along the dusty ground with a bayonet on the end of your rifle, you may have joined the WRONG Air Force! There’s a chance you got drunk and signed up for that other branch, Dudes Who Crawl Along With Bayonets Until They are Strafed by the Air Force.

Lonnie, did YOU drop this grenade?

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Okay, the actual caption on this photo says this soldier is “on patrol.”

But I have to wonder, what the frick kind of “patrol” do you go on where you need FIVE rocket-propelled grenades, unless you’re  guarding the River Styx to make sure Satan doesn’t wander into our world?

Hey, what do you think THIS button does?

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soyuz-blast-140.jpgBlog Guy, you’ve been great about advising people on jobs to avoid. I just picked up a flashy brochure about the “exciting field of rocket-leading,” and I wonder what you can tell me about it. 

You were smart to come to me. Below is a photo of a rocket-leader at work, walking a few feet from the business end of a Soyuz spacecraft.

This isn’t as much fun as it looks like!

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chopper-net-crop-180.jpgHey, Blog Guy, you give the very best career advice. I especially value your tips on how to know if we’ve made a bad career choice.

Thank you. Here’s something that always works. I call it the triple reality check:

Protecting the seat of government?

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Blog Guy, my friend and I are debating which is the most elite military force on Earth. What would you say?

chairs-0919-160.jpgIt’s the legendary Ukraine Chair Patrol. In a country beset by furniture shortages, these troops are always on the move, ready to swoop in with ample seating so their officials don’t have to stand.