Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Do you have a flare for stupidity?

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SOCCER-EURO/

Blog Guy, me and others like me are being discriminated against. We’re dumbasses, and we don’t think there are enough ways for us to express ourselves these days.

I have to disagree there, ace. From where I sit, opportunities for dumbasses have never been greater.

SERBIA-GAYS/Really? Like name some!

Well, look at this top photo, from a soccer match that had to be abandoned two days ago after “supporters” of one team threw flares at fans from the other team.

That’s great! What’s the world coming to if a dumbass can’t throw burning flares at people?

Hey, where’s that tear gas coming from?

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Blog Guy, it must be tough covering news in hostile situations. How do you keep track of all the different weapons they use?

You rely on your instincts. For instance, the caption for this top photo says a soldier is firing tear gas at youths who are throwing stones, but I’m not so sure.

The world’s most dangerous sport?

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CHINA/

Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my haberdasher’s chimney sweep?

That’s why I’m here, to settle stupid bets. What is it this time?

hokey pokey vertical 220What is the most dangerous game in the world? I say it’s Floppy Clown Shoe Minefield Parachuting, but the chimney sweep thinks it’s Lightning Storm Aluminum Pacemaker Pole Vaulting. Who’s right?

Can a pilot get some RESPECT?

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wreath top 490

Blog Guy, I know you keep a close eye on military maneuvers around the world. Are there any going on now?

Just the usual nonstop war games in South Korean waters. Those are pretty dramatic.

Okay, the next round’s on me!

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CHINA/

Quick quiz: The troops in this photograph, clearly nervous and struggling, are…

shells vertical 220a) …playing a variation on Russian Roulette and wondering what theyhave to do to win.

Run for cover, boys, they’re shootin’ blanks!

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obstacle top 490

I’m just not positive what’s going on here.

This caption says a trainer is firing blanks as a soldier jumps off a platform during an obstacle course at an Iraqi military base, while U.S. soldiers take shelter from the scorching summer sun and watch the Iraqis train. Let’s watch and learn…

IRAQ-USA/BRIGADE

“Okay men, listen up! This is an important training exercise for all those times when the enemy expects us to jump off a platform while they shoot blanks at us!

Starting your own Goofy Face Museum?

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fishermen and bride 490

Blog Guy, as the curator of the very popular Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop in the nation’s capital, can you tell us a little about what makes a truly goofy picture? It all starts with a goofy face, right?

afghan melon goofy 320Not always. The photo above is wonderfully goofy, but nobody’s making a face.

Hold on Ma, we’re a half-second from Miami!

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missile travel 490

Blog Guy, I know you’re one of the biggest names in travel writing, and I have a question.

My family loves to travel overseas, but we hate the hassle of getting there. You know, 10-hour flights to Europe, and like 20 hours or more to Asia… Is anybody working on faster flights?

Tanks for nothing…

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THAILAND/

“This is General Johnson, come in Alpha Dog. Are the assault vessels in place? Roger that…

“Affirmative, we’re all set for the attack. I want you to deploy all 1,000 of our T-69 amphibious tanks and begin our surprise invasion. Push ‘em into the water, boys, now!

Kids, welcome to Camp Sarcasm!

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KOREA/

“Timmy, Jennifer, it’s August, and you know what that means!”

“Yay! Summer camp, Daddy, summer camp!”

“Exactly! So this year the choices are, let’s see, cartoon camp, cookie camp, Justin Bieber camp, messy room camp…”

KOREA/“Yes! Yes! Yes! Any of those!

“Oh wait, look at this! Self-Denial Camp! A military camp for civilians! Boy, does this take me back. Why, the log stories I could tell you…”