Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, me and others like me are being discriminated against. We’re dumbasses, and we don’t think there are enough ways for us to express ourselves these days.
I have to disagree there, ace. From where I sit, opportunities for dumbasses have never been greater.
Really? Like name some!
Well, look at this top photo, from a soccer match that had to be abandoned two days ago after “supporters” of one team threw flares at fans from the other team.
That’s great! What’s the world coming to if a dumbass can’t throw burning flares at people?
Blog Guy, it must be tough covering news in hostile situations. How do you keep track of all the different weapons they use?
You rely on your instincts. For instance, the caption for this top photo says a soldier is firing tear gas at youths who are throwing stones, but I’m not so sure.
Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my haberdasher’s chimney sweep?
That’s why I’m here, to settle stupid bets. What is it this time?
What is the most dangerous game in the world? I say it’s Floppy Clown Shoe Minefield Parachuting, but the chimney sweep thinks it’s Lightning Storm Aluminum Pacemaker Pole Vaulting. Who’s right?
I’m just not positive what’s going on here.
This caption says a trainer is firing blanks as a soldier jumps off a platform during an obstacle course at an Iraqi military base, while U.S. soldiers take shelter from the scorching summer sun and watch the Iraqis train. Let’s watch and learn…
“Okay men, listen up! This is an important training exercise for all those times when the enemy expects us to jump off a platform while they shoot blanks at us!
Blog Guy, as the curator of the very popular Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop in the nation’s capital, can you tell us a little about what makes a truly goofy picture? It all starts with a goofy face, right?
Not always. The photo above is wonderfully goofy, but nobody’s making a face.
Blog Guy, I know you’re one of the biggest names in travel writing, and I have a question.
My family loves to travel overseas, but we hate the hassle of getting there. You know, 10-hour flights to Europe, and like 20 hours or more to Asia… Is anybody working on faster flights?
“This is General Johnson, come in Alpha Dog. Are the assault vessels in place? Roger that…
“Affirmative, we’re all set for the attack. I want you to deploy all 1,000 of our T-69 amphibious tanks and begin our surprise invasion. Push ‘em into the water, boys, now!
“Timmy, Jennifer, it’s August, and you know what that means!”
“Yay! Summer camp, Daddy, summer camp!”
“Exactly! So this year the choices are, let’s see, cartoon camp, cookie camp, Justin Bieber camp, messy room camp…”
“Yes! Yes! Yes! Any of those!
“Oh wait, look at this! Self-Denial Camp! A military camp for civilians! Boy, does this take me back. Why, the log stories I could tell you…”