Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Tanks for the memories?

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A Reuters story from Moscow says about 100 modern Russian tanks have been discovered abandoned on the side of a road in the Ural mountains. There are video clips showing the tanks parked in long rows.

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I’m  not totally clear on how this happens. These T-80 tanks hold three-person crews, which means what? At some point several hundred soldiers walked into town for a drink or whatever, and then forgot where they parked?

RUSSIA/“Yo Lonnie! Man, am I hung over! How much vodka did we drink last night, comrade?”

“Jeez, Roy, I don’t even remember how we got here. Hey, what do you suppose this big honking ignition key in my pocket goes to?”

Well, there’s your problem right there, Mister!

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We have a video report about the Thai government deciding not to buy any more of these expensive bomb detectors because they say the the things only work 20 per cent of the time.

detector 1 280“Great news, men! We’re passing out your new bomb detectors, and I’m happy to announce that 20 of you 100 guys will get to go home to your families tonight!”

Hey, you’re getting your prince all over my binoculars!

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I keep hearing that Prince Charles has failing eyesight. That’s sad. Is this true?

goofy crop vertical 200Yes, as you can see by his special eyeglass prescription, Charles….

I’m sorry, Blog Guy, I’m  not going to keep being your straight man for a picture this dumb. Now, I want to know what’s really going on here.

Raise your hand if you could use a drink!

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I have to wonder what’s really going on here. The caption says these are U.S. Marines watching as a dude from the Thai Navy catches a cobra with his bare hands during a “jungle survival exercise,” but look at them. They’re chuckling and taking photos!

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Is there some part of “jungle survival exercise” that seems to confuse them? Do they think this is just a Thai ventriloquist act?

Hurry up Earl, it’s Headstand Night!

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My regular readers know that for some time I’ve been gathering information for a doctoral thesis.

It is to be an objective, scientific look at how sad and meaningless life is in places where they don’t have cable television, Blu-ray, TiVo and other entertainment necessities.

We’ll remember always, Graduation Day…

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There’s a time a for joy
A time for tears
graduation vertical 200A time we’ll treasure through the years
We’ll remember always
Graduation day

At the senior prom
We danced til three
And there you gave your heart to me
We’ll remember always
Graduation day

Rome, Rome on derange…

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Okay, Lamar, this has your ineptitude written all over it. I gave you simple instructions, to find a couple of people to manage the shop during the post-Christmas sale, and who do you hire? Frickin’ Roman centurions!

ITALY/

Look! Another couple just went right up to the door, saw these goofballs with helmets and swords, and just walked away. How are we supposed to make any money?

Act like you can’t see the guy with the bomb over there….

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PALESTINIANS-ISRAEL/

Blog Guy, your career advice has been invaluable to others, and I want to run something past you. Some recruiters came to our college and handed out brochures about entering the exciting field of Improvised Explosive Devices. Do you think I should consider this?

bomb gaza crop 240Hmmm. I can’t honestly support a choice like that. Sure, it LOOKS glamorous, and lying on your back wearing a ski mask, covered with some really bad camouflage and holding a bomb may SEEM like a pretty easy gig…

Feel like carry-out from Earth tonight, honey?

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// // //

I have great news, my fellow Neptunians! Our intelligence agents tell us that after  more than 50 years of service, Britain’s Defence Ministry has shut down its UFO investigation unit, saying it can no longer justify the cost.

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The Ministry said such investigations are an “inappropriate” use of resources, which are needed instead for the war in Afghanistan. I swear I am not making this up, fellow Neptunians.

The all new Lock and Load Blog!

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Well, drop a grenade down my pants, this one REALLY took me by surprise!

The official tabulation of this blog’s posts for November reveals that the most popular item had nothing to do with Victoria’s Secret or stupid fashions or Barack Obama or the other usual topics.

Instead, it involved ceremonies honoring Mikhail Kalashnikov, the inventor of the weapon that bears his name.