Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Hey there, Gorgeous! You come to this bar often?
I myself make this scene a couple times a week. Gotta spread myself around where the hot chicks are, am I right?
Yo Joey! My usual! Double Crème de Menthe on the rocks!
Anyhoo, my name’s Cecil. I’m a Leo, I play the ukulele, and I’ve been to ALL five of the the Great Lakes.
I sell homemade lunch meat door-to-door. It’s a good living, Cutie-Pie.
Oh, this outfit? It’s IMPORTED. From China, like everything I wear. You can’t get stuff like this anyplace else, unless you’re in a “Star Trek” movie.
I’ll tell you one thing, Honey, when I ring a doorbell dressed like this, that lunch meat practically sells itself!
Boss, the models are complaining about their food again.
Lonnie, I get so tired of this! What do they expect, real meat?
Well Boss, some of them say they’re not even getting enough nutrition to make it to the end of the runway and back without stopping for a rest.
Why, we’ve even had members of the audience trying to feed them to get them back up on their feet.
Okay, fashion show staff, as you know we’ve been struggling for some time with the problem of models showing too much emotion when they’re out on the runway.
Sure, an occasional pout or contemptuous sneer or obnoxious smirk can have its place, but our new clothing line is heading more in the direction of no emotion whatsoever.
Blog Guy, last year you had several posts about a supposed new fashion trend in which portions of a woman’s anatomy had to be covered up with her own hand, if you take my meaning.
Did this ever catch on? Out here in Akron we haven’t seen too much of it since you wrote about it, but it’s time for the missus to get a new dress, and she was wondering should she go that route?
Quick quiz: This photo from a fashion show illustrates:
a) The growing problem of headless models
b) A model who is too stupid to put her big sunglasses on right
c) A model who is too stupid to put her airline sleep mask on right
d) A model who enjoyed a little hanky-panky backstage before the show, and doesn’t think anybody will notice
e) A model who frankly is just counting the days until retirement…
A model displays a creation during a special show organised for the Elena Franchuk ANTIAIDS Foundation during Ukrainian Fashion Week in Kiev March 16, 2010. REUTERS/Gleb Garanich
Blog Guy, you’ve helped a lot of readers with very specific fashion needs, and I hope you can help me. I’m just a regular chick, except I have two extra legs growing out of my stomach, and just because of that small detail, I can’t find clothes to wear.
Two extra legs, huh? What’s that like?
Well, it’s much easier to do push-ups.
May I ask a very personal question?
No, you may not. Now can you help me?
Yeah, I’m going to go out on a limb here…
Limb? Stop it! I’ve heard all the bad jokes already.
I just meant this fashion creation from Kiev would give you a leg up on the other…
Blog Guy, it’s me, that aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring.
Oh cripes, what now? I thought I lost you in the crowd!
Nope, your Afro wig and handlebar mustache are obvious fakes. Look, I just shot my first fashion show, and I wondered if you could critique my….
So Alan, another Monday morning at the office. Whatcha got going on today?
Oh don’t even ask, Gordon! I got an Executive Board meeting all day to discuss the IBM acquisition.
That sounds awful, man. Yeah, I’ve got a visit from the SEC regulators. Those guys put me to sleep.