Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

My name is Cecil, I play the ukulele…

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Hey there, Gorgeous! You come to this bar often?

CHINA/I myself make this scene a couple times a week. Gotta spread myself around where the hot chicks are, am I right?

Yo Joey! My usual! Double Crème de Menthe on the rocks!

Anyhoo, my name’s Cecil. I’m a Leo, I play the ukulele, and I’ve been to ALL five of the the Great Lakes.

I sell homemade lunch meat door-to-door. It’s a good living, Cutie-Pie.

Oh, this outfit? It’s IMPORTED. From China, like everything I wear. You can’t get stuff like this anyplace else, unless you’re in a “Star Trek” movie.

I’ll tell you one thing, Honey, when I ring a doorbell dressed like this, that lunch meat practically sells itself!

The naked stewardess time warp…

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flight attendants 490

Welcome back to a regular feature we like to call, “What Year is this Again?.”

There was a time, years ago, when airline flight attendants were called stewardesses, and they tended to be portrayed as flying cocktail waitresses.

Can’t walk on the catwalk?

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GEORGIA/

Boss, the models are complaining about their food again.

Lonnie, I get so tired of this! What do they expect, real meat?

fashion fall crop 220Well Boss, some of them say they’re not even getting enough nutrition to make it to the end of the runway and back without stopping for a rest.

Why, we’ve even had members of the audience trying to feed them to get them back up on their feet.

Why are these bikini models romping?

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victoria celebrate combo 490

Quick quiz: These three perky Victoria’s Secret models are celebrating because…

USA/a) It’s the 15th anniversary of the Victoria’s Secret swim catalog.

b) It’s the 50th anniversary of blowing air kisses for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Zombie models, undead and unamused

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fashion zombies 490

Okay, fashion show staff, as you know we’ve been struggling for some time with the problem of models showing too much emotion when they’re out on the runway.

fashion zombies 260Sure, an occasional pout or contemptuous sneer or obnoxious smirk can have its place, but our new clothing line is heading more in the direction of no emotion whatsoever.

I’d like to thank my strap that didn’t break

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USA/SHOWEST

Blog Guy, last year you had several posts about a supposed new fashion trend in which portions of a woman’s anatomy had to be covered up with her own hand, if you take my meaning.

fashion breast combo 180Did this ever catch on? Out here in Akron we haven’t seen too much of  it since you wrote about it, but it’s time for the missus to get a new dress, and she was wondering should she go that route?

Hey Liz, your bra goes…oh, never mind!

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Quick quiz: This photo from a fashion show illustrates:

fashion bizarre 260a) The growing problem of headless models

b) A model who is too stupid to put her big sunglasses on right

c) A model who is too stupid to put her airline sleep mask on right

d) A model who enjoyed a little hanky-panky backstage before the show, and doesn’t think anybody will notice

e) A model who frankly is just counting the days until retirement…

UKRAINE-FASHION/Join the Oddly Enough blog network

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A model displays a creation during a special show organised for the Elena Franchuk ANTIAIDS Foundation during Ukrainian Fashion Week in Kiev March 16, 2010.  REUTERS/Gleb Garanich

Seems like clipping my toenails is a full-time job

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fashion kiev vertical 490

Blog Guy, you’ve helped a lot of readers with very specific fashion needs, and I hope you can help me. I’m just a regular chick, except I have two extra legs growing out of my stomach, and just because of that small detail, I can’t find clothes to wear.

FASHION-UKRAINE/Two extra legs, huh? What’s that like?

Well, it’s much easier to do push-ups.

May I ask a very personal question?

No, you may not. Now can you help me?

Yeah, I’m going to go out on a limb here…

Limb? Stop it! I’ve heard all the bad jokes already.

I just meant this fashion creation from Kiev would give you a leg up on the other…

Fashion photography, the age of aquariums?

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Blog Guy, it’s me, that aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring.

Oh cripes, what now? I thought I lost you in the crowd!

NORTHERN IRELAND/

Nope, your Afro wig and handlebar mustache are obvious fakes. Look, I just shot my first fashion show, and I wondered if you could critique my….

I’m Mr. Bozo, I’ll be your attorney…

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So Alan, another Monday morning at the office. Whatcha got going on today?

fashion red suits crop 280Oh don’t even ask, Gordon! I got an Executive Board meeting all day to discuss the IBM acquisition.

That sounds awful, man. Yeah, I’ve got a visit from the SEC regulators. Those guys put me to sleep.