Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

A little bit of Boris…

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becker 300Blog Guy, I’m a big tennis fan, and you never do anything about tennis except show players making goofy faces.

Hey, I don’t force them to look goofy. I just use what I get. But let me do something nice to make it up to you.

Oh. That’s damned decent, I must say. Well, my all-time favorite player is Boris Becker. Can you run some photos of him in your blog?

Sure thing. Here he is with his wife, Lilly, just a couple of days ago. Enjoy.

But wait. That seems to just be a photo of Lilly, with a tiny sliver of Becker.

becker 2 200I do beg your pardon. Sorry, here’s another one.

Um, that’s not much better.

Look, clearly you’re a pathetic malcontent who will never be happy and should seek professional help.

The mother of all wardrobe malfunctions?

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fashion wardrobe combo 3 490

Class, welcome to Wardrobe Malfunctions 101, where we’ll see what can go wrong if you try to cut corners in the high end fashion design  process.

fashion wardrobe vertical 2 180We’re going through this stuff quickly, so please take notes and pay attention.

Mom and Dad, the Beautiful People?

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parents combo 490

I should warn you, I’m kind of emotional today. See, I’m adopted, and I just got a report from a private detective who has tracked down my biological parents after all these years. You can imagine my feelings as I read it.

Hmmm. It says BOTH of my parents were models, which might explain my interest in fashion.

It’s like Halloween, every day!

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Blog Guy, I’m in HUGE trouble! My school is putting on “H.M.S. Pinafore” this weekend, and I’m playing Bill Bobstay, the boatswain’s mate. Mom was supposed to make my costume but she got really hammered on mudslides and took a bunch of her pills, and….

fashion ready combo

That’s too much information, honey. Here’s the perfect outfit for you.

This model walks into a bar, see…

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fashion vodka 490

Lamar, those fashion models are getting uppity. Oh, they’re so full of themselves, with their beauty and glamour, we need to take ‘em down a notch.

fashion smoke combo 280Gosh, how do we do that, Boss?

We lower their self-esteem.

Let’s put one of ‘em in lingerie and stiletto heels, send her out on the runway with a big bottle of vodka, and have her ad lib jokes until she’s flat on the floor. She won’t feel so high and mighty then!

What are you chicks waiting for again?

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FRANCE-FASHION/

“Maggie, what the hell is going on? The fashion show has started, and those three models over there don’t even have their make-up! Let’s get going!”

“But Boss, I can’t do their make-up until their hair is done!”

Lingerie models, coy and decoy…

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Blog Guy, I know you’ve done security consulting for some major companies. Are you working with anybody now, or is that confidential?

I’ve recently been working with the Victoria’s Secret folks. Their supermodels are often the targets of stalkers, creeps and pervs. You know, basically the guys I call my readers.

She’s choking! Save the shoes!

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Blog Guy, I’m dating a fashion model…

Hey, that must be neat.

fashion heimlich crop 260It is, but I worry. She eats so little, and sometimes a raisin or a pea will go down the wrong way and she starts to choke.

So I figure I should learn that lifesaving Heimlich Maneuver.

Okay, first, you don’t want to use the standard Heimlich on her. You need the Size Zero Heimlich.

They don’t call it a runway for nothin’….

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models run 490

Boss, you know how you’re always saying we need to cut costs for our fashion shows? Well, have I got great news for you!

models run vertical 200Do tell, Lamar. I hope it’s not using dead models again, or zombies. We’ve tried those things.

Top 10 things about the blog in February

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This was a very good month for the blog. I tried doing a few items in list form, and it paid off in page views. I did this for 10 reasons, but I don’t remember what they were.

USA/The most popular post of the month, by far, was Top 10 things I learned in the blizzard.