Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Brace yourself for eel farming in Holland

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Blog Guy, how do you decide what photos to use? I think you’re holding out on us. I bet there’s better stuff than just shots of people making goofy faces and fashion models with their hoo-hahs showing. How about letting us READERS decide?

No problem. I’ll just give you the titles of several of our photo essays from recent days, and you tell me which ones you want to see here. Just say when…

Well thanks, that sounds more than fair…

Here goes: “Swiss Air Force Performs,” “Honduras Coup: The Man and His Hat,” “Harvesting Grapes in Austria…” See anything yet?

Not yet…

Um, “Belgium’s King Albert II and Queen Paola at the Vatican,” “Eel Farming in Holland…”

Sit! Stay! Who’s a GOOD model?

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Okay fashion show staff, times are hard, and we need to save more money.

We tried using dead models, but it turns out they don’t last long in the bright lights. We hired raccoons to do makeup, but there was that rabies problem.

Now, we think we have the perfect solution to the high cost of hair stylists: dog groomers!

Shopping for droppings WHERE?

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Blog Guy, I enjoyed your item about the festering zombie skankfest. but you didn’t include the most important information. Where can I get ME some outfits like those?

A couple of them were Vivienne Westwood originals. I’ve featured lots of her piles of steaming manure – I mean fashions – here in my blog.

It’s a festering skankfest of zombies, Clancy!

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Lamar, you mark my words, tonight is a turning point in our luck with the babes.

But it don’t make sense, Clancy. Why would professional models date guys like us?

Nobody wants to see exposed fashion models!

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Okay Lonnie, we took you on as an intern during Paris Fashion Week because what the hell, you were willing to work for free just to meet the models.******But Lon, we assigned you a VERY simple task, just to wash the tops for each outfit, and what happened?******Every one of them shrank drastically, leaving the models fully exposed on the runway! You think anybody wants to see that?******Lonnie, I’m sure this was just an accident, but we did warn you that heat shrinks fabric. So what did you do wrong?******Really? Washed them repeatedly all night long in a steam room, huh, and then dried them over a Weber grill?******Well gee, that sounds like an innocent mistake to me, Lon…***

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******Models present creations by designer Gareth Pugh as part of his Spring/Summer 2010 women’s collection during Paris Fashion Week, September 30, 2009. REUTERS/Jacky Naegelen***

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Human evolution, the sexy way

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Blog Guy, I have a question about the whole Darwinism/creationism debate, and I know you are educated in both science and theology.

My problem is, I think both of those theories are kind of gross. I mean, amphibians, apes, men’s ribs, neanderthals crawling out of slime…

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I need another Adderall!

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As apartments and even houses get smaller, with shrinking wall space, many folks are desperately short of places to hang essential items.

The good news is, fashion designers are doing something about it, by taking stuff that once would have gone on your walls, and having you wear it instead.

Wanna come back to MY place, human?

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Blog Guy, I’m a hip young single guy, and I need some dating advice.

You’ve sure come to the right place. I can pretend I know all about that stuff.

I go to singles bars, and sometimes chicks will say, “You want to come back to my place?” But I don’t always know if I should.

Ya want me back in the shower, Mr. Hitchcock?

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“Ding-dong!”

“Dear, one of the young ladies from that Manson family up the street is here selling homemade lunchmeat! Can she put us down for some?”

Okay, that was an imaginary conversation. But this photo here, which I have artfully censored, is an actual “creation” from a fashion collection in Milan this week. I did not make it up.

Gals, time to get your nails done!

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Okay fashion show staff, you’re all aware of our problem.

Our designer shoes are so uncomfortable, our models won’t wear them. As you can see here, they just take them off in the middle of the runway!

We’ve had lots of falls recently, and now, God forbid, people have started debating whether women have the right to wear “comfortable” shoes to work. This could be the end of us.