Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Golly, I don’t have enough pockets for all my cash!

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If  you get all of your fashion guidance from this blog – and boy, you should be easy to spot in a crowd – you know I pay close attention to police decoy fashions.

Tempting bad guys to commit crimes is a challenge in our litigious society. So as usual, I’m attending the annual “Hook ‘em and Book ‘em.”

Am I glad I came this year! There is an exciting new surprise twist to the show.

What this unsuspecting model doesn’t know is, Hollywood loose cannon Mickey Rourke is in the audience! Mickey was told to study for the part of a hood whose father was sent away by a police decoy during a Pinky Lee tribute.

Models, we’re havin’ a Wingding!

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Okay, fashion show staff, I wanna know who played this little joke, and I wanna know now!

You know what I’m talking about. One of you printed up some “books” with that Microsoft Wingdings font, and told the models there would be a “test” after the show!

You’ve reached the firm of Ponce, Bonache and Gotcha!

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Blog Guy, do you stand behind the info in your photo captions? Is there a chance anybody ever pulls a fast one on you?

We do our best to check information, but my own personal suspicion is that sometimes people in Spain are having a laugh at my expense.

High fashion, it’s all in the execution?

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Blog Guy, please let me jump in here quickly because I have special fashion needs which are fairly urgent.

Okay, I’ve never heard of urgent fashion needs, but go on…

I’m Judy, a wartime spy facing the firing squad, and naturally I want to look my best. I’m furious!  No designers are producing chic blindfolds!

So, you like shoulder skulls, Liz?

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Hi, are you Liz? It’s me - Lamar – your Internet date!

So, at last we meet!. That’s quite an outfit, Liz. I guess you must have just come from some theatrical thing or something? Oh. You just came from the dentist, huh? Well…

I hope you like it here at Denny’s. Their country fried steak is… Excuse me, Liz, um, that little skull on your shoulder just said something to me.

A box of castanets for my pink bird, please…

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Blog Guy, like many of your readers I have very special fashion needs. I dance the flamenco.

You mean those festive pink birds like I have in my front yard?

No, those are flamingos. I dance the flamenco. You know, with castanets.

That candy you get at the movies?

No, those are Raisinets! Please try to follow me. I clap my hands and stamp my feet a lot.

Nice melons, soldier!

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Blog Guy, you seem to know quite a lot about how the military works in various countries, so I have a question.

I’ll do my best.

I was wondering how the paramilitary police carry watermelons in China.

I get that question a lot, and I believe this photo illustrates the technique they use.

Two thousand folks to avoid?

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A few months ago I launched a Facebook Network Page for readers of this blog. It was largely a public service, so readers could recognize and avoid one another in social situations.

Anyway, fast-forward to yesterday, when some innocent reader became the 2,000th person who was willing to admit to following this blog.

It’s ME, Grammy, all dressed up!

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Dear Mr. Big Shot Fashion Designer:

I am writing to say I believe you designers should be required to include, on every outfit you sell, a label suggesting places where the thing can be worn.

This would certainly help me respond when my wife says, “Bob, what is this fricking crap in your closet, and just where do you think you’re going in it?”

Stand out, but not too much…

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Blog Guy, you don’t know me… You never saw me, we never had this conversation. I know you help people with certain fashion needs find appropriate attire. I represent the 42 million people in the Witness Protection Program. When you’re disguised all the time, it’s not easy to look chic.

Wait a minute. There are 42 million of us?

Us? You’re in the program?  Hey, clever disguise, doing a blog that anybody in the world can read. Then you know we have parties, cruises, WPP discounts… So is anybody creating fashions for us?