(to the tune of Petula Clark’s “Downtown“)
When you want lookers
But you can’t afford hookers
Here’s the place to go, Gown Town
Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I want to find a job.
What’s been holding you back, if I might ask?
Well, I’ve had a run of bad luck that left me pretty skinny. First, I fell asleep on the liposuction machine and it ran all night, and then I got a tapeworm….
Lamar, we’ve got another fashion show today and our finances are still in the toilet. Do you have any new ways to save money?
Quick quiz: The bewildered and confused young women seen here…
a) just can’t understand why they had to get up at noon on a Friday.
b) have just been asked if World War I was fought before or after World War II.
c) have been told they’ve won a dinner date with somebody named Lamar, and they are wary.
Psssssssssst! Blog Guy, it’s me!
Wally? My old roommate from the Witness Protection Program?
No, you dimwit, I’m The Elephant Man! I was famous when my movie came out, back in 1980, and I’d like some of your fashion advice. I want to start hitting the singles bar scene, but I need a hip wardrobe.