Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Welcome to our model town…

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gown town this 490

(to the tune of Petula Clark’s “Downtown“)

When you want lookers
But you can’t afford hookers
Here’s the place to go, Gown Town

You’ll be a hero
‘Cause they’re all a Size Zero
If you find them in, Gown Town…

FASHION/NEWYORKLamar, come into my office…

Yeah, Boss?

We seem to have a REALLY beautiful crop of models for the fashion show today, and I don’t see anything wrong with them. Where did you find them?

I just drove the bus over to Gown Town and loaded it up. The gals there are happy just to have a bus ride, and we don’t even have to pay them.

Best of all, there’s nothing to tuck in

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Hello Mr. Henderson, I’m Jimmy. I’m here to take your daughter out.

FASHION-SPAIN/What? My outfit? It’s the latest thing. I bought it right off the floor at a major fashion show.

Yep, this beauty is part of the Fall/Winter collection. I suppose I should add a hat during the winter.

Models with low sylph-esteem?

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fashion skinny 490

Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I want to find a job.

FASHION-BRITAIN/What’s been holding you back, if I might ask?

Well, I’ve had a run of bad luck that left me pretty skinny. First, I fell asleep on the liposuction machine and it ran all night, and then I got a tapeworm….

Gosh. I suppose maybe you could…

I’m not finished with my sad story. Then I got lost in a cave for six weeks without any food. When I finally got out, I was rescued by a weight loss club.

Curses! Here comes Big Red!

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heroines combo 490

Blog Guy, I’m a young female who wants to become a super heroine, sort of like Wonder Woman. I know she was an Amazon. Any idea where she bought her costume?

I guess Amazon.com would be too obvious?

heroine redhead 240Oh. That makes sense. You’ve written about a place called Super-Chicks R Us. Are they still in business?

Your eyelids are getting heavy, and it’s not just the makeup

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FASHION-DENNISBASSO/

Lamar, we’ve got another fashion show today and our finances are still in the toilet. Do you have any new ways to save money?

hypnisis fashion vertical 220You bet I do, Boss. I’ve been hypnotizing the models backstage while I put on their makeup.

Along came a slider who sat down beside her…

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fashion sliders 490

Lamar, we’ve got another big fashion show today. What have you done to cut costs? I’m worried about this rule that we have to have food for the models.

COLOMBIA/Are you kidding, Boss? That costs us nothing! I just put out the five sliders again.

The key to a great Valentine?

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locks shoes 490

Blog Guy, I really need your help with a relationship problem. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend is stepping out on me.

fashion locks vertical 220Stepping out?

Yeah. You know what I mean…

Oh. Jeez, can’t you try one of our other blogs written by smarter people? Like Faithworld or Felix Salmon?

Fashion models, hither and yawn…

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Quick quiz: The bewildered and confused young women seen here…

FASHION/LUCALUCAa) just can’t understand why they had to get up at noon on a Friday.

b) have just been asked if World War I was fought before or after World War II.

c) have been told they’ve won a dinner date with somebody named Lamar, and they are wary.

d) are actually fashion models, getting “instructions” about the complicated process of walking down a runway, turning around and walking back.

Yeah baby, I used to be famous!

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BRAZIL/

Psssssssssst! Blog Guy, it’s me!

elephant man japan 180Wally? My old roommate from the Witness Protection Program?

No, you dimwit, I’m The Elephant Man! I was famous when my movie came out, back in 1980, and I’d like some of your fashion advice. I want to start hitting the singles bar scene, but I need a hip wardrobe.

Ah, that empty oat bag over your head and the stupid floppy cap aren’t making it any more, huh?

When designers stay up past bedtime…

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BRAZIL/

Um, Blog Guy, you write about fashion real good. We are two very famous designers, and we would like to have you cover our new clothes and stuff. Okay?

BRAZIL/Sure. If you’re really big designers, I’ll see your creations at one of the big international shows.