Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer? You’ve covered the fashion show all week, and not a single shot of a model falling down!
Well thankfully it’s been a pretty safe show, Boss…
Thankfully? You think readers wanna see skinny chicks standing upright in boring outfits? They want pratfalls! Accidents!
Look, sometimes you have to help it along a little. Why, back in my day as a young shooter, we carried Vaseline in our camera bags. A little dab of that on the runway, and it’s “I Love Lucy” all over again!
Boss, is that even ethical?
We don’t use that word here, Johnson. There are lots of other tricks. You substitute a pair of roller skates for their designer shoes, you set your strobe light on STUN and surprise them with it…
Blog Guy, I’m a woman who likes to look her best at all times. I have an irrational fear of being caught out in the jungle, without my luggage, and no way to accessorize my outfit.
My psychiatrist said you might be able to do something.
Yes, help is available. Many women share this fear. You are not alone.
I strongly recommend a six-week jungle survival fashion course, called “Going Rogue, But Staying Vogue.”
Blog Guy, my friend told me about a big new miracle diet. I’m skeptical because it seems so unusual, but I thought I’d ask you.
I’m guessing you mean that Cinnabon Diet.
Yes! That’s it! Does it really work?
It must. Look at the women in these pictures. See how pretty their faces are? Great legs, nice arms…
Okay Lamar, business hasn’t picked up at all, so I hope you REALLY saved money on today’s fashion show. We’re just about broke.
Don’t worry, Boss, this one is practically a freebie.
For starters, the dress we’re showing was made entirely with 40 starched linen napkins and some super-glue. The model was a really good sport.
Blog Guy, you’ve helped lots of people with unusual fashion needs, and I hope you can do something for me. I’m an attractive woman who was born with no neck.
You mean you have a very short neck, right?
No. I have no visible neck whatever. Damnedest thing you ever saw. Just a torso with a head on it. I mean, I can’t even look left and right at traffic lights.
Lamar, now that our fashion show is underway, please tell me you managed to keep costs down. I hope you didn’t throw away a lot of money on extravagances and luxury doodads.
We’re on the same page, Boss. I didn’t even rent an expensive backstage dressing room this time. Look out there, our models will just change outfits onstage.
Blog Guy, have you been over to the auto show to see the new models?
You bet, and this year they’re great, especially the Audi. I actually bought one!
Wow! Tell me all about them.
Well, the Ferrari and Jeep both come with one in a black dress, and the one that comes with the Chrysler has a white dress…