Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Fall fashions? Your slip is showing…

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BRAZIL/

Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer? You’ve covered the fashion show all week, and not a single shot of a model falling down!

Well thankfully it’s been a pretty safe show, Boss…

BRAZIL/Thankfully? You think readers wanna see skinny chicks standing upright in boring outfits? They want pratfalls! Accidents!

Look, sometimes you have to help it along a little. Why, back in my day as a young shooter, we carried Vaseline in our camera bags. A little dab of that on the runway, and it’s “I Love Lucy” all over again!

Boss, is that even ethical?

We don’t use that word here, Johnson. There are lots of other tricks. You substitute a pair of roller skates for their designer shoes, you set  your strobe light on STUN and surprise them with it…

Look chic when it’s a jungle out there!

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fashion survival combo 490

Blog Guy, I’m a woman who likes to look her best at all times. I have an irrational fear of being caught out in the jungle, without my luggage, and no way to accessorize my outfit.

fashion survival boots 300My psychiatrist said you might be able to do something.

Yes, help is available. Many women share this fear. You are not alone.

I strongly recommend a six-week jungle survival fashion course, called “Going Rogue, But Staying Vogue.”

Try walking with more Bounce, girls!

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SPAIN/

Hey Sweetie, have you gone to the laundromat yet this week?  I really need some clean underwear.

fashion washing vertical 260Sorry Honey, I haven’t done that. It just creeps me out, now that they’re doing live fashion shows from that place!

Time to slather on more makeup, honey!

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model saner combo this one 490

Blog Guy, I’m an 18-year-old girl and I want to be a model, but my parents won’t let me take modeling classes!

model combo apple line 300Can you please tell them what a glamorous and exciting life fashion models lead?

The warm, buttery, gooey diet?

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cinnabon diet 490

Blog Guy, my friend told me about a big new miracle diet. I’m skeptical because it seems so unusual, but I thought I’d ask you.

FRANCE-FASHION/I’m guessing you mean that Cinnabon Diet.

Yes! That’s it! Does it really work?

It must. Look at the women in these pictures. See how pretty their faces are? Great legs, nice arms…

Fashion creations to die for?

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fashion napkins this 490

Okay Lamar, business hasn’t picked up at all, so I hope you REALLY saved money on today’s fashion show. We’re just about broke.

fashion ghost 240Don’t worry, Boss, this one is practically a freebie.

Do tell.

For starters, the dress we’re showing was made entirely with 40 starched linen napkins and some super-glue. The  model was a really good sport.

I stick my neck out for nobody…

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fashion no neck 490

Blog Guy, you’ve helped lots of people with unusual fashion needs, and I hope you can do something for me. I’m an attractive woman who was born with no neck.

BRAZIL/You mean you have a very short neck, right?

No. I have no visible neck whatever. Damnedest thing you ever saw. Just a torso with a head on it. I mean, I can’t even look left and right at traffic lights.

From the design house to the outhouse…

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porta fashion models 490

Lamar, now that our fashion show is underway, please tell me you managed to keep costs down. I hope you didn’t throw away a lot of money on extravagances and luxury doodads.

porta fashion 240We’re on the same page, Boss. I didn’t even rent an expensive backstage dressing room this time. Look out there, our models will just change outfits onstage.

And the trunk is roomy enough for a…

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detroit auto 490

Blog Guy, have you been over to the auto show to see the new models?

detroit combo 340You bet, and this year they’re great, especially the Audi. I actually bought one!

Wow! Tell me all about them.

Well, the Ferrari and Jeep both come with one in a black dress, and the one that comes with the Chrysler has a white dress…

Cavort until you’re blue in the face…

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NETHERLANDS-WEATHER/

Okay Lamar, this was your really big chance. How many guys get to plan the entire Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, huh?

sports illustrated vertical 180This is the magazine everybody waits for, so pass around those proofs and show us what you did.