Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, my friends and I are guys who sincerely want the same thing most young men want.
Exactly. But we have a problem. We’re not exactly George Clooney in the looks department, if you take my meaning.
How bad is it? Do chicks run away from you screaming?
Only the ones who see us coming. Anyway, we have grotesque haircuts, crazed eyes and look like we’re barely conscious… Some of us lack chins.
Wow. Are you as bad as Mickey Rourke?
No, but almost. What can we do?
Relax. Just do what other scary guys do these days. Become male models.
Um, don’t you have to look handsome for that?
Not anymore. Check out these actual male models from the current New York Fashion Week. I mean, these dudes are getting PAID at least minimum wage, maybe more!
Hey Blog Guy, I have some fashion needs that you’ve never addressed. I’m a strumpet.
You mean the band instrument?
Not a trumpet you imbecile, a strumpet! You know, Jezebel? Floozy? Trollop?
Isn’t that a Coney Island law firm?
Gosh, you’re even thicker than I’ve heard, Blog Guy, and frankly that’s very hard to imagine.
Welcome to a very mysterious installment of our popular feature, “Stuff Maybe We Should Have Mentioned in the Photo Caption, but didn’t.”
The actual one-sentence caption for this photo identifies the subject as a “Rizla umbrella girl,” and says she is “posing” at some motorcycle race. That’s it, I swear.
There it is again.
The lady in the photo above is Jimena Navarrete, who was crowned Miss Universe just a couple of days ago. The one on the right is another contestant, Miss Brazil.
Both of them are doing this wacky glam pose that I guess somebody thought was sexy 100 years ago, and it just never went away.
Boy, it’s getting close now, Blog Guy! It’s almost Oktoberfest time in Germany. Will I see you over there?
No way in hell.
Ah. For the usual reason? “I have no interest in linking arms and singing about sauerkraut with 10,000 exuberant drunks in Lederhosen,” was what you said last year.
Blog Guy, I work for a bikini modeling agency that hires only gifted models.
That must be fascinating. What’s the latest methodology for telling if a bikini model is gifted?
I know you’re not gifted yourself, Blog Guy, but are you really that stupid? Look at the pictures. We have brightly-wrapped GIFTS attached to our heads. That shows we’re gifted. There’s no mystery.
Oh Boss, there you are. Got a minute?
Lamar, I’m kind of busy. The big fashion show is just starting. What is it?
Well, some strange woman came by a couple of hours ago and said she was a designer and needed space to work. She didn’t look quite right, but you never know in this business, so I helped her out.
Blog Guy, I’m a very strict father with a parenting question. My daughter’s prom is next weekend, and…
Sorry to interrupt you, sir, but what kind of school has a prom in August?
It’s a summer school prom. Anyway, you know how kids behave at those things, and I’m afraid the boys will be trying to get her to do you-know-what. So I’m looking to find a prom dress that will keep her absolutely safe.