Oddly Enough Blog

Hi, you must be Paddington’s mom!

September 7, 2009

Blog Guy, I have a question about classic children’s literature.

Sure. I once interviewed Maurice Sendak. He was great! He told me his favorite children’s book was…

Put the money in the bag, or I’ll eachu up!

August 14, 2009

Blog Guy, there was a really bizarre bank robbery in Australia today.

Yeah, two guys held up a bank in dinosaur masks. As you can see in this closed-circuit footage, they had Tyrannosaurus Rex masks. The bank tellers cooperated and no one was hurt.

Heads I win, tails you lose…

July 29, 2009

Blog Guy, I just lost a bunch of money to a guy flipping coins, and I can’t figure out how he did it. He beat me every time!

I’m calling this ring Mini Pearl!

May 26, 2009

From Switzerland comes news that a Hong Kong tycoon who bought a flawless blue diamond for a record $9.5 million has now named it the “Star of Josephine.”************I’m not sure why this is important. Naming jewelry is no big deal. For years, my wife has been naming the tokens of affection I’ve given her on romantic occasions.******It started with her engagement ring, an admittedly very modest ruby which she christened the Dinky Pinky.******Soon, the Dinkster was joined by a diamond named Mr. Chips, followed by a pearl she calls, well, Poor Pitiful Pearl.******These adornments now share space in her jewelry box alongside El Shrimpo, Mr. Measly and Li’l Sapphire. Last Christmas, they were joined by Pretty Boy Flawed. So take that, Josephine!***

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You had garlic bread for breakfast, didn’t you?

May 21, 2009

Quick quiz: Well-to-do socialite Paris Hilton and this guy here are…

    Discussing if they can get to the bar in time for Wednesday night $1 margaritas. Singing that Captain and Tenille hit, “Muskrat Love.” Shooting a mouthwash ad that will only be seen in Japan. Flirting shamelessly; She’s saying, “I’ve done hard time, big boy, that changes a girl!” and he’s saying, “You’re a socialite? So you think the government should own everything?”

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Rich guy forces ukes on helpless world?

May 6, 2009

We have a heartwarming story today about billionaire Warren Buffett, and how selfless he’s been in helping to nurture ukulele music, donating instruments and lessons to young girls and stuff like that.

ME buy the pot? I thought YOU were buying it, Warren!

May 4, 2009

Blog Guy, I’ve read that rich guy Bill Gates is a very good card-player. Would that be because he’s so smart, and understands the odds and probability and stuff?

God speed, Lonnie, you got the right stuff!

April 13, 2009

Blog Guy, I’ve decided I want to be one of those space tourists. Do you know what that costs?

What if Macy’s got attacked on Thanksgiving?

April 10, 2009

Well, I’m in trouble now.

Awhile back, the Defense Department told me to make our military capability the best in the world. I looked for bargains, because who wants to waste tax dollars?

Be as classy as a drug lord!

March 13, 2009

Quick quiz: Business is good, you have a lot of extra cash, so you use it to…

a) make a major donation to Doctors Without Borders

b) build a new homeless kitchen in your city

c) establish a scholarship fund for Katrina victims

d) cover your gun, your cellphone, your patio furniture and your grandma in gold and diamonds.